Anon and friends have a good laugh | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

⠀ Memories from when you were younger that you'll never forget thread Memories from when you were yo(...) 195 KB JPG I'll start 11/24/22(Thu)21:00:54 No.71119829 >be me >in secondary 2 >be in music class ofw >music teachers informs us of a field trip to see a play for free >was a German play with English subtitles >also tells us that we can invite any friends from outside the music program >f--- it, why not >invite 2 friends >play starts >we can't stfu during the play, making jokes every 2 minutes and laughing audibly >get dirty looks from others >don't care, continue >end of play comes along >standing ovation begins >friend 1 pulls out his phone and begins playing "Hitler Speech Earrape" at half volume >sounded f------ hilarious with the clapping from the standing ovation >me and friend 2 try to get him to stop while simultaneously trying not to burst out laughing >fail.jpeg

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tactically uses the gamerword | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Born to Fren 74 KB JPG 09/05/20(Sat)06:33:24 No.835441659 >be a fren in a discord server >a non fren there >the non fren is super toxic and makes me sad >playing league of legends like always in discord group >we are winning >pretend to laugh at all toxic non fren's jokes >he's feeling good >starts being toxic towards enemy team >i laugh and say over voice >now is the time i strike >"call their adc a n-----" >he laughs and calls them n----- >report him after the game with a support ticket >next day in discord >he is freaking out >his account has been perma banned >he had a beta account and had the retail skins >non fren deleted

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Anon wants to hang out with fellow robots. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /ndhg/ - neet depressed hopele(...) 11/24/22(Thu)16:51:03 No.71110366 206 KB JPG this is a place for people totally dead inside with nothing left >i have a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend may i pose here? nope f--- off >i have a job can i post here? nope f--- off >i have goals and aspirations am i welcome here? nope f--- off this is a place for people that have totally given up hope and just want to talk to other losers. normies please go to your 800 other echo chambers you have available.

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anon's Thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

2a0.jpg 76 KB JPG >be me >Show up to Thanksgiving at parents >Entire family of 30 is there >All of various beliefs >Family screams at each other for entire meal >Grandpa and grandpa start throwing punches at my brother who has liberal beliefs >Sister barks at my conservative uncle >Turkey is thrown, slurs are said >Dad screams saying we're all disappointments >Not a moment of silence >Finally things calm down and we say what we're grateful for >Each family member talks about how we love each other and would die for each other >Go home, we're gonna do this again next year This is what family is about

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Family practice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)06:49:30 No.70840125 >finally caved in and got a practice gf >years go by and we have a practice wedding >now she's pregnant with my 2nd practice kid I'm in way too deep now bros...

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Anon and throws away his only chance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:51:56 No.27772330 >>27772346 >>27779957 >>27762172 (OP) >be me >2 weeks ago >girl from the gym started following me on IG >ironically say "hi" >we had a date (she kissed me lol) >the second day we had sex >she falls in love whit me, she says to me "I love you" >now she's making future plans >she's a good girl but I can't give her a good life due to present logistical circumstances, so I need to get rid of her How can I do it as gently and politely as possible? Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)13:55:48 No.27772346 >>27772330 f--- you

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Anon is bad at math, in reality it's 25% | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 55 KB JPG 10/18/20(Sun)08:14:00 No.46978231 The suicide rate in America is .15 percent, the rate that transgender people is estimated to be roughly 10 times that number, 1.5 percent, the rate for post transition trannies is 20 times that number, so 30 percent. During WW2 the soviet army had a total of 40 million men, during the war the official russian figure is 8.7 million, we will be rounding to 9 for sake of argument. That is 22.5 percent deaths. You are 7.5% more likely to survive the Great Patriotic War as a Soviet rank and file than to transition. >>46978408 # >>46975052 # I did the math.

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Reject modernity; become ZUCK! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ∞ Meta 77777 38 KB JPG 11/23/22(Wed)14:10:11 No.71102428 >be attractive >get rejected >groom yourself >get rejected >dress nicer >stand up tall >get rejected >go to the gym and get bigger >get rejected >go for the natural approach >get rejected >be confident and relaxed >get rejected >smile more >get rejected >get rejected >work on your hobbies >get rejected >make more money >get rejected >stop searching and women will come >no women come >find someone who's into the same things as you >get rejected >join clubs >get rejected >go out with friends >get rejected >talk about things you're into >get rejected >ask her about herself >get rejected >lower your standards : Anonymous >get rejected >drink alcohol before you go out >>71102515 # >get rejected >learn to love yourself >get rejected Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm out of things to try. 11/23/22(Wed)14:12:03 No.71102449 11/23/22(Wed)14:12:41 No.71102456 : Anonymous Have you tries getting rejected?

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Anon's new boyfriend | /r/Greentext

Hey Mario, isn't it weird how the Kong's are 13% of the Mushroom Kingdoms population, yet commit over 50% over the crime? 71 KB JPG unny.co >be me at 19 >Racist but also gay >Another guy who goes to my college is aware that I'm gay and he's gay too >He likes me, one small issue, he's black >He asks me out >F--- it, let's do it >We go out, I admit it's the best night of my life >We get home and he starts f------ my ass >The racism leaves my body as I am destroyed by this BBC, everything in my life has changed >He has to leave and I tell him we should go on another date >On his way home that night he gets in a brutal car accident and doesn't make it >The darkness spills over me and I never get a man again >Eventually discover that I'm bisexual and hook up with his sister >Can't stop thinking of how her brother blew my back out everytime I blow hers out >It hurts

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Happy Thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

File: 24ED8DAC-CA0D-421D-A12D-B(...).png (59 KB, 630x630) Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)15:14:12 No.889641310 [Reply] >>889641505 >>889641701 >be me >23 >bring friend home for thanksgiving since his family lives across the country >on the drive over, TURKGAY he suggest we play a prank >during dinner, I stand up and announce our relationship >get caught in the moment and kiss him >uncle storms out >dad chases after him >mom starts crying, saying she always knew >sister is excited to tweet that she's inclusive >mom says we have to sleep in separate rooms (he's in with my little sister) I forgot to mention he's black

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Anon is a potter fan. | /r/Greentext

SOURCE 10 KB JPG >insular mistrustful community > greedy and obsess about attaining wealth >large hooked nose >dominate the banking system >short in stature and ugly >naturally traitorous and sneaky >cunning and intelligent >disliked by the rest of the community >sloping foreheads and sometimes (actual quote) wear "little pointed hats" What did JK Rowling mean by this?

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Anon has opinions about women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How much do you hate women 84 KB JPG 11/24/22(Thu)14:40:59 No.889617941 >be me >looking for lecture room. >woman also looking for the same room >she knows where it is >presses on 3rd floor button in elevator >l instinctively press of 2nd floor >woman asks me why >tell her 2nd floor is where the room is >she exists at the 2nd floor with me She was right all along. I instinctively disagreed with her because that is how much i hate women. They do not deserve any respect with their potato sized brains. Imagine leaving on the wrong floor because a radom guy told you to. : Anonymous >>889617941 (OP) # Based, anon. Primitive women brains aren't adaptable to the real world. 11/24/22(Thu)14:44:39 No.889618055

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Anon isnt good at algebra | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 70 KB PNG 1 Reply Anonymous 11/24/22(Thu)15:49:39 No.71111430 >Can't do basic algebra and multiplication >School pretty much gave up on me and half-assed my graduation How retarded are you? View Thread 11/24/22(Thu)15:53:33 No.71111462 I literally tripped on air once

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