Anon learns to appreciate Justin Bieber | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

607 KB JPG >daughter likes the f----- Bieber >likes his old songs best >daughter also likes bacon >get idea from pinterest to make pic related >cooked it and it looks bad >one side of biebers face is scrunched >daughter cries and I feel bad >see picture of bieber with stroke face >show picture to daughter because h-------- my bieber loaf looks just like strokey beebs >she cries again >she no longer likes bieber and throws away a t-shirt and two posters >bieber stroganoff tastes f------ delicious >also get rid of s----- music from my house >daughter hears me listening to Morbid Angel and she loves it >thank you strokemaster Justin for giving me my daughter back >legitimate thanks to bieber man.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has an opinion on the very power oppressed group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)14:37:14 No.888621158 179 KB JPG >transexual are good >transexuals are bad All of you are retarded. What the f--- is transexual? That's a made up term like spaghetti monster or some s---. Does not exist retards, what the f--- are you arguing about? About dudes with surgeries on their d--- areas? Ffs big brains, listen to yourselves... TRAN SEXUAL. What? Are you having a stroke? What are you saying? Stop telling mentally ill people they are something that does not exist, it makes it harder for them realize they need help.

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Indoor chicken farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #

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Anon efforts go unnoticed :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?

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Anon acts cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?

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Anon hates video essays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---

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Anon tortures Cortana. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...

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Anon has a wholesome childhood...? | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.

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The matchmaker | /r/Greentext

624 KB JPG >Be me >For the most part I am a generic normie >Have a friend who is a bit more spergy than I >The type to shove his phone in your face and show you a meme from r/greentext >Lately he has been telling me about his dating woes >I just dont get it anon, blah blah blah >Selfpity.exe >Tell him I know a girl with similar interests >A couple days pass by and I set them up >They get to talking and all seems to be going well >The topic of anime comes up >Ohno.jpeg >YOU WATCH ANIME!?! NO WAAYY >Begins quizzing her with the intensity of a Fed at Guantanamo >I can visibly see her eyes glazing over with the ick Why do I even f------ bother.

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Anon don't like dating | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1618_cropped.png (117 KB, 276x276) Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:24:52 No.70877675 ► >Decide to give dating a try >Find some average looking girl and decide to meet up >She may not be a 10/10 but she sounds nice MAISON DE L'AMOUR >Start to inquire about my job and how much I earn >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up >Spend the rest of the date talking about how much she'd love to receive a gucci branded purse for her birthday which coincidentially is in 2 weeks Yeah I dunno, I'm just going to avoid dating until I feel like I'll need it. Living alone is just fine for me right now. >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:28:27 No.70877702 ► lol, when you JUST meet a girl and she tells you her birthday (when to give her s---) you just walk the other way. me me me me me women are awful >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:29:44 No.70877710 >> Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:37:16 No.70877761 File: IMG_20221106_103504.jpg (29 KB, 684x912) >>70877761 >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up Alright I'm stopping here, this is a ridiculous thing to just drop ► >>70877710 She asked where I worked and I answered, what's wrong with that? I do work for Gucci. It's not like I told her a lie

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 8 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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Anon browses r/politics | /r/Greentext

>>386712658 (OP) # >"WOW JUST WOW! The Republikkkans just voted 'no' on the Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund! I can't even!" >H.R. 28472 The Happy Cuddles Huggie Wuggie Kitties Love Love Fund Act >PROVISION I. >All property belonging to White Americans is to be appropriated by the government and given to jews. >PROVISION II. >All White Americans are to be sterilized and kept as slaves. >PROVISION III. >All White children are to be remanded to the custody of Israeli dual-citizens... to help them.

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