Anon has acne | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

62 KB JPG >be me jacking off late at night >run out of tissue to wipe up >what do? >lightbulb.wav >I take showers in the morning >youseewherethisisgoing.jpg >wipe c-- on my stomach until dry >wake up the next morning >usually have acne on my torso >I don't this morning >wotmate.stl >c-- is good for your skin >start doing it regularly >acne gone >few weeks later realize what I'm doing >realize that I'm an autist that rubs c-- on himself >mfw

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon on Redditors. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: AUTw/2vH) ª 14 by Fac 03/05/22(Sat)02:12:45 No.365272386 >Soldier posts on Facebook his exact location to his friends and fellow Redditors in private >Redditor posts the image on Reddit for updoots 620 KB JPG >Russian scrolling through the subreddit gets confirmation that Ukrainians are using schools as bases >Russians shell every abandoned school in the area, massacring everybody A Redditor singlehandedly got multiple safe zones exposed for upvotes

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YouTuber face reveal | /r/Greentext

TERD M6910 Adobe_20221002_191656.png 338 KB PNG >100+ million subs on YouTube >Millions of fans who are constantly horny >Face reveal today >It's literally an average white dude as we all were expecting Was it worth losing your father over?

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Anon finds Reddit for the first time. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.78605778E >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/11/11(Sun)18:07 No.10286882 >They kick down my door >I have dragon dildos hanging from the ceiling >Just in case this day comes >They fight their way through the dongs >There are casualties >They bust down my bedroom door >I'm wearing a G-string >Backwards >Covering myself in olive oil >Extra oil on my balls >Playing with my n------ >Moan as loudly as possible "YOUR MOVE, MR. LAW-MAN!" >Those cops will never be the same.

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Writer's Block | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous T 23 13 KB PNG 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 : Anonymous >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life

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anon uses q-tips | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB PNG >won't let me >liar 10/10/22(Mon)15:06:08 No.887082245 >feel ear pain and go to doctor >doctor asks if I've been using q-tips >say no (I have been) >tells me q-tips are bad >ask him if he uses q-tips >he says no >ask to look in his ear

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CRECCINATED OMY Mont 472 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)19:12:32 No.70847805 >go to college >Study to be mortician >Chemistry class >Girl sit next to me is talkative to me >"Anon what are you studying to be" >"Mortician" >"Cool I want to be {insert profession}, why do you want to work with the dead anyway" >Autism.batch >"Because I'm a virgin" >S--- s--- f--- >"Oh.. Kay...." >Doesn't talk to me the rest of class

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Anon embellishes his autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)16:54:09 No.70857105 >>70856268 # in a similar vain >be 13 >>70857692 # >f------ loser >some guy starts a rumor that i liked one of the hottest girls in class 22 KB JPG >rumor got huge around the class and some people even said I told everyone we were dating >wanted to an hero because all the girls laughed at me for it >hot girl in question was obviously disgusted and wanted to squash the rumor by rejecting me >walks up to me after lunch >asks what i would think if we dated 'tism kicks in >"uh that would be weird I wouldn't date you" >quickly shuffle away and dont wait for response >she misses next period >heard she was crying in the bathroom in 20 years that was the only time i ever got cold approached by a woman

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anon thinks Edison was wrong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)12:08:30 No.89601454 320708.jpg 287 KB JPG >750,000 volts are totally dangerous and deadly, trust me bro

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Anon is pirate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous CHERRY 29 KB JPG 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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Anon tried to make a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/03/22(Thu)16:27:49 No.244664959 >>244664510 # >go to gym, am a regular >see big guy in bench >we leave at same elevator >I want to make friends 213 KB JPG >tell him you're a big guy >he takes off his earphones and nods me to repeat my self >y-you're a b-big guy haha >he looks at me with disgust >get away from me f----- >we part ways Bros...

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anon's mother doesn't trust him | /r/Greentext

1/2 njdwfEb1 (OP). WP 17m (11/4 14:41). 402921531 28 Re1 Img PNG 70KB (255 × 207) 18 Replies . >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by this? :

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