Full Zoomer Jacket | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! H >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon has financial solutions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 507 KB JPG 06/03/22 (Fri)15:06:21 No.68895124 >$100 an hour to go to a therapist >$0 to just tell yourself "it is what it is"

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Anon’s girlfriend is a cuck. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)08:59:00 No.885171683 >be me, in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, everything is going great >one day she approaches me and says she wants to open up the relationship 100 KB JPG >my heart drops, my breath catches in my throat and the world darkens as I imagine our inevitable future breakup >"not for me but just for you, I want to see you with other girls" >turns out she gets turned on seeing me have sex with other women, and even wants to join in eventually >so yeah, life is great

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Anon prepares to game | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad-thinkpad-5d9ec41(...).jpg (24 KB, 758x644) >Multicore Rendering: Disabled >Effects: Low >View Distance: Low >Shadows: Off >Motion Blur: Off >Friendly Fire: Off >Difficulty: Easy >Tutorials: On >Cheats: Enabled >CPU Handicap: 50% Yep. It's gaming time. Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)22: >Resolution: 800x600 >Aspect Ratio: 16:9 >V-Sync: Off >Refresh rate: 60Hz >Field of View: 75 >Subtitles: On >Antialiasing: Off >Texture Filtering: Bilinear >Texture detail: Low >Model detail: Low >Water detail: Simple Reflections >Shader detail: Low >Color Correction: Disabled

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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Anon graduates from training | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB PNG 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards

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Anon Is Also Schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread

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proof height privilege exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)14:49:01 No.70831290 >be me, several months ago >at college >overhear women talking about the Buffalo shooting >"Why are all these shooters always ugly, short guys?" >"Well, this last guy was actually like 6'2" >"Ohhh. Well that's alright, then" >TFW I didn't actually believe anything people said about women on this board until that moment >MFW

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Anon masters the art of home defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>55896945 (OP) # >punch hole in dry wall >drop gun inside >patch hole 11/02/22(Wed)20:21:05 No.55897003 >repeat for every 5 feet of dry wall in your house Remind you CANNOT defend your home without this.

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Anon likes broccoli | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/07/19(Sun)01:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. : Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. I told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom >>106871807 # >>106877776 # >>106885879 #

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Stoic Anon is ready | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 68834321 147.8 kB JPG >nofap >noporn >nocoffee >noalcohol 6 REPLIES 1 IMAGE You forgot. >No femboys Anonymous | 68834350 3 REPLIES >nopoo >nomovies >novideogames >nosocialmedia what else? I'm ready to take the no4chan pill 1 hr ago ... REPLY 1 hr ago ...

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Anon doesn't like women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >I smile >"of course, buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job

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Classic greentext story. "don't worry he knows" | /r/Greentext

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