asks legit questions | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 01/31/22(Mon)11:02:46 No.67227363 >someone posts their overweight cat/dog on the internet >dozens of people crawl out of the woodwork to scold them for abusing their animal by letting it be fat >someone posts their overweight child on the internet >nobody says anything even though it is several orders of magnitude worse than letting a f------ cat be fat >if I say anything I get banned from wherever and people act like I am evil Why?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon isn't the problem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/22/22(Sat)08:06:44 No.70685211 >i don't have a gf >women are the problem >i am an ugly, unhygienic, mess >women are the problem >i smell bad >women are the problem >i spent 16 hours yesterday posting misogynistic rants on /r9k/ 15 KB PNG >women are the problem >my politics are abhorrently right-wing, racist, fascistic, and evil >women are the problem >in fact, i literally want society to return to medieval morality and keep women as sex slaves >women are the problem >i don't work out, don't have a job, and can barely function day-to-day >women are the problem >i am socially retarded and angry all the time >women are the problem >i hate my parents >women are the problem >i ooze repulsiveness >women are the problem

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are you sure about that?Anon doesn’t have autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 65 KB PNG 12/29/18(Sat)20:25:29 No.50120427 >be me > 16 years old >cute girl from class sends me a message >"hey, anon, I've got two tickets to this comedy show, would you like to..." >thinking she wants to sell them to me >"oh, no thanks, I don't really like these guys" > oh... okay, sorry >more than 4 years later >lying in bed unable to sleep >finally realise what she meant >mfw : Anonymous Could be worse. Could have autism 12/29/18(Sat)20:26:44 No.50120446

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Anon tells a joke...well, more of a comment really | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E WEEKEND UPDATE 922 KB PNG 10/21/22(Fri)13:19:02 No.175853932 >last week on tucker carlson tonight, kanye who goes by the name "ye" made the shocking statement quote "jews own the banks". >in response, JP Morgan & Chase removed his bank account. 10/21/22(Fri)13:21:56 No.175854055 : Anonymous >>175853932 (OP) # W-where's the joke Norm??

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anon is 14 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSw/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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anons sister browses reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB PNG 02/03/19(Sun)02:46:20 No.791658710 >be me >post true greentext about jacking off into my sisters panties >gets on reddit >sister is redditfag >shows me the story >fake laugh and spaghetti all over the floor >make up excuse about violent diarrhea before leaving >return all stolen panties >mfw this makes it on reddit too hi emma

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atheist.... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/18/16(Tue)18:29:55 No.32173943 Atheism turned me into a little cringe retard when I was a teenager. 159 KB JPG On christmas day when I was 14 I came downstairs during the night and destroyed the tree and left a note for my family. I can't remember exactly but the note was something like >I have removed the Angel from the tree and replaced it with a Bunsen Burner. The real bringer of light. >I have removed the chocolate from the tree. Science doesn't allow chocolate to grow on trees >I have removed the decorations for the same reason >The presents beneath the tree will be burnt if I ever see them placed in the presence of religion again My dad beat the s--- out of me and gave all my presents to my brothers.

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Big Pan strikes again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 210 KB JPG 10/19/22 (Wed)17:24:23 No.18483816 >saucePAN >it's clearly a pot Who the f--- came up with this s---? 10/19/22(Wed)17:25:31 No.18483825 : Anonymous Big Pan doesn't give a f--- about you

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Anon becomes a Plague Doctor | /r/Greentext

Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous > Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon is a based centrist who hates neoliberalism | /r/Greentext

It's time to stop blaming immigrants It's time to stop blaming immi(...) a fos MASS TRIVIT 10/20/22(Thu)17:47:09 No.400752195 Mohamad Safa ✔ @mhdksafa When your boss's income has risen 937% since 1978 and yours has increased by only 5.7%, it's time to stop blaming immigrants for your woes. 5:42 AM 10/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . 3648A8F4-D61C-44E5-8B6A-A2BD4937BC58.jpg 120 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 7471G+CT) 10/20/22(Thu)17:48:21 No.400752369 >>400752195 (OP) # My boss's income has risen by 937% because he can employ immigrants for less. I will hang you both. >>400752809 # >>400753151 # >>400753370 # >>400754205 # >>400754956 # >>400755364 # >>400755424 # >>400755787 # >>400756343 # >>400756803 # >>400758389 # >>400758575 # >>400758595 # >>400758808 # >>400759099 # >>400762349 # >>400762399 # >>400762975 # >>400763158 # >>400763218 # >>400763327 #

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Anon mourns | /r/Greentext

File: 1389413965397.jpg-(6 KB, 250x246, 1386513033397s.jpg) Anonymous 01/10/14(Fri)23:19:25 UTC-5 No.526348961 [Reply] Feels thread? Feels thread. >be me 3 years ago >Have crush on girl >easily 9/10 >ohyesnigger.potato >but Me = beta as f--- >Okaywhatever.jpeg >After that weeks she becomes worse >End up talking to her finally >Turns out she's not a bitch to beta-anon >2 months later she moves out of state with her mom >We still talked over the internet and such >January 10th, 2011 she dies. >I mourn for a whole month. >I finally turn my game back on >I look at the typhlosion she gave me >We start talking everyday >She cool as hell nygawh >We share the same love for pokemanz, and other things >I develop a huge crush on her >We become great friends >About 3 months after she moves away she get sick >It's leukemia >It has an item attacked >Its mail >We play games together all the time, best time of my life. >I cry like a betabitch for days >I still talked to her through it all like a friend. Still like her a lot >One of her favorite things to do was play pokemon over the internet, with Pokemon soulsilver. >One day we trade pokemon, it's her prized typhlosion. >"Why did you give me that? It's your favorite." >"Because I think it will like you more, Anon" >It says "I love you" >I cry even more for days. >I play Pokemon Soul Silver everyday with that typhlosion. /b/ros I can't help it. I'm not sure exactly what love it, but if I have ever loved a person, it was her.

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A little bird told me | /r/Greentext

File: tenor.gif (567 KB, 414x278) Anonymous 10/18/20 (Sun)06:21:23 No.60523450 [Reply] >>60523869 >>60524569 >have spent the last week or so hearing this weird scratching noise in my left ear >keep reaching into my ear with my finger trying to figure out what it is, that does nothing >scratching noise continues >no other physical symptoms but that >this happens for about a week no idea what it is starting to ter worried >suddenly a hour a so ago the scratching got louder and louder >an about half inch long cockroach suddenly crawled out of my left ear and ran away >scratching noise stopped O-ok

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Anon and his normie gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>615830158 # The f--- I don't. >be younger me >gf at the time was living with me >100% normie girl >I'm the cook of the relationship, and keep my kitchen organized 10/21/22(Fri)21:13:48 No.615831305 >one day can't find my kitchen shears >ask her if she had used/moved them >"Um, check the bathroom counter" >ask why they'd be there >"I was using them" >in the bathroom..? Turns out she had regularly been using my kitchen shears to trim her 'carpet', and didn't say anything because I'm "weird about taking care of my kitchen stuff". She just forgot to put them back this time. When I asked if she had at least been washing them, I got >"W-- is that supposed to mean?! Are you saying I'm dirty?!" >>615831565 # >>615831669 #

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