Anon has a mental illness. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 16 KB PNG 01/17/22 (Mon)18:11:42 No.870858186 I got a good one for y'all >be me >4th grade >new class so we're all introducing ourselves >Teacher says to think up an adjective that describes us and starts with the first letter of our name >hear my classmates think of stuff like "Strong Shawn" and "Kind Kelly" >can't think of anything >imfreakingout.png >it's my turn now >now or never >"uh..r-r-retarded richard" >whole class laughs >teachers gets mad and sends me to the principal >suspended for a week for ableist language >mfw when i return and the whole class likes me Being a retard has it's perks

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has a new work buddy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB PNG 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/03/22(Thu)12:19:58 No.24319619 i wanna ruin some conservative dad's life by manhandling his fem son in front of him and his son is in on it 387 KB JPG

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Anon begins to believe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why, Anon? Why, why why?! Why do you do it? Why lift? Why keep lifting? Do you believe you're lifting for something? For more than your own survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it for women? Or respect? Perhaps fear? Could it be love? Illusions, Anon. Vagaries of gains. Temporary constructs of a feeble human body trying desperately to justify building muscle that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the gym itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as gains. You must be able to see it, Anon. You must know it by now. You can't gain muscle. It's pointless to keep lifting. Why, Anon? Why? Why do you persist? 1 Reply / 1 Image 44 KB JPG Anonymous 10/11/22(Tue)21:30:40 No.68606002 279 KB JPG View Thread 10/11/22(Tue)21:43:05 No.68606092 Because I have nothing better to do

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Anon is mad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/22(Mon) 08:38:17 No.70619482 Coco_010.jpg 17 KB JPG >New coworker >Two weeks after she started, have literally never talked to her >She walks up to me out of nowhere >"Why do you look so mad all the time?" Why the f--- do people feel the need to say s--- like this?

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Snap back to reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB PNG : Anonymous >be me >didn't ask >don't care >ratio 10/16/22(Sun)08:45:04 No.887416600 >Be me >Start rizzing a girl up on Snapchat >we have been talking for 2 days >sends me a unexpected nude the 3 day >holyfuck.png >idk what to do in this situation 10/16/22(Sun)08:49:30 No.887416775 10/16/22(Sun)08:53:15 No.887416920 : Anonymous >>887416600 (OP) # Show her your butthole, it'll be something new and set you apart from the others, no lame d--- pic, be the alpha and spread those cheeks for her and teller to get her tounge ready

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Anon loves his sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB JPG 08/19/21(Thu)09:30:47 No.65046920 >become in love with my sister >don't even see any other woman as a potential mate >can never confess my feelings to her because it might drive her away and f--- my relationship with my family >might as well just kill myself you don't know true pain 08/19/21(Thu)09:36:25 No.65046961 : Anonymous >>65046920 (OP) # >wear a fake mustache and a trenchcoat and ask your sister out in your deepest voice

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Hitt or mis. I guess they should run. But I’m already danky. | /r/Greentext

>be me >be in university >me and best friend there always joke about traps because of the meme >browse trap threads from time to time 8 KB JPG >curious about it but not a big deal >one day friend from university says we need to talk >"oh ok" >he doesn't wait and tell me by text >"anon I need to tell you that I actually want to become a trap and I'm getting huge feelings towards you" >get massive boner and don't know how to respond F--- you guys now I'm a total f----- and want to f--- my best friend in a dress because of you

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Anon sniffs petrol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>887407554 >be me >middle school >wanna go check the girls' locker room while no one is inside 10/16/22(Sun)22:12:02 No.887409102 (OP) # >totally gonna sniff shoes and shirts >friend is disgusted but wants to see his crush's bra so he helps me >find the perfect day >make my nose bleed >teacher sends me and friend to boys' locker room to stop bleeding while everyone is running outside >try to get inside girls' one instead >grab a shoe, about to sniff it >already feels like heaven because it belonged to my crush >someone comes in >hide in the bathroom >it's a girl from my class I hated >she's about to enter the bathroom >slam door in her face >break her glasses >dash out while she tried to see who I am >goes to the teacher complaining >teacher immediately realizes it must've been me >left trail of blood leading to the boys' locker room but not to the girls' >teacher thinks it was someone from the other class because of trail >f------ saved

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 48 KB JPG >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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The solution made by an Australian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: JgVMRNXb) Solution to WW3 10/16/22(Sun)09:56:14 No.400034268 n----- anus tonguging.png 241 KB PNG Its simple, nuke ukraine, if ukraine is an irradiated wasteland, NATO and Russia cant expand into it, that way everybody will be happy, because now nobody can have ukraine and thus there wont be an escalation between NATO or Russia, because the ukrainian wasteland will seperate them. 9 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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anon likes planes | /r/Greentext

infernal lust >Be me >Get addicted to anthropomorphic airplane p--- >Join Air Force for unrelated reasons. >Now having to work around aircraft that now make me uncontrollably aroused. >Struggle with it my first few years in. >Now I've partially managed it >Now manifests differently. >Now get uncontrollably angry when my planes break due to poor maintenance. >Other maintainers f--- up one of my jets components. >It's like having someone beat my wife >They're beating all of my wives >UnfathomableRage.jpeg >Manifests in me chewing out other airmen and NCOS about their poor quality workmanship >The f------ t---- are touching my plane inappropriately >Leadership just takes it as me being passionate about attention to detail and excellence in all I do. >Promoted, more responsibilities and have to do more f------ work on the flightline. >Oh god no. >Myfuckingdick.jpeg >One of the new refuellers comes through the base, needs repairs. >"Anon go unfuck the jet" >Get down to the apron. >It's beautiful. Shiny new paint, glistening leading edges, my god it even has electronic countermeasures. Even seeing the blueprints in the T.O. is like f------ playboy magazine for me. >Diamonds.jpeg >Literally tucking my boner into my waistband as I work on it. >Crewchief asks me why I keep running my hand across the airframe >"Just checking for uhh.... delamination" >Finish up, Jet flies away. >Feelsbadman.jpeg >Go stare at the transient fighters to make myself feel better. >Go home and jerk it to fat tittied planes to relieve the unprecedented amount of sexual tension of the day. >Literally unable to achieve arousal to 3D women >Thefleshisinferior.mp4 >I have to repeat this process everyday until the end of my contract in several years. >Behavioral health will probably use me as a case study or take away my security clearance if I tell them. >I f------ love planes.

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Anon learns sign language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 09/27/22(Tue)11:32:57 >be me, only child to single mom >she starts dating a deaf guy >she learns sign language to be with him but I haven't because he's not around much when I'm home No.886346634 >the relationship gets more serious and the guy seems cool so I decide to learn sign language so we can converse with each other better >decide to keep it a secret from them so I can surprise them on his birthday >once I get pretty good I decide to try and interpret their signing as practice >big mistake >immediately horrified at the sheer amount and level of dirty talk going on between them at any point in time >can't remove the thoughts of knowing how "robust' my mom thinks he is or how "using sign language made his fingers stronger wink wink" KILL ME NOW

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