Anon brushes his teeth | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous I SCIENCE 148 KB PNG 11/10/21(Wed)21:53:14 No.866448368 >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR SAUCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR TEETH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T >You WILL brush twice a day >You WILL floss once a day >You WILL visit your (((Dentist))) regularly >You WILL eat the approved diet >You WILL NOT smoke the unapproved plants >YOU WILL KEEP SMILING

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon isn't a sheep | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes

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Anon doesn’t want to go to therapy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3.99 MB GIF 10/12/22(Wed)21:54:24 No.70562905 My mother wants to throw me out or forcefully put me in a mental institution if I don't look for a job, go to therapy or do voluntary work.

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Anon didn't want to be there | /r/Greentext

File: Circa 2089.jpg (416 KB, 1076x711) Anonymous 10/13/22(Thu)02:53:43 No.55622325 ► >Be me >In the year 2089 >Was conscripted into the Neo-Confederate Army >Fought in every front of the war >from Operation Ultima Cena to the Battle of Nova Scotia >The 16th Fairbanks Armoured Division got decimated while pushing to Staten Island >Gothels Bridge was destroyed by partisans >The yanks fortied positions all along the expressway >Never secured Perth Amboy >Every single house along Graniteville became hard points >No air superiority >No logistics >No GPS >No escape >My platoon was ordered to push out of CSI and south towards Latourette Park >Secure the eastern flank of our breakout to the Outer Bridge >Begin panicking >Our tanks are s----- un-maintained US Army relics and lend leased castoffs >Park has no cover >Two regiments of New York Militia in that area >Calm down and load up >President Candace Owens giving a speech to the Confederacy >Turn off radio >Three hours later >Armoured platoon is ambushed while entering the park >Tanks being knocked out left and right >Sabot hits our left track >Knocked unconscious >Wake up >Driver is dead >Don't hear anything >Open hatch >Pure Silence >Everyone is gone >Sit >Turn on Radio >https://youtu.be/Jvv3NI--9jQ plays >Start crying >I didn't even want to be here

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Anon is me? | /r/Greentext

File: QgjFMVy.pTJmkbnN-800x450-noPad[1].jpg (25 KB, 616x346) □ Anonymous 10/12/22 (Wed)22:13:28 No.70566540 [Reply] ► >tfw your life has been so s----- and uninteresting you're nostalgic of your teen nostalgia projecting yourself into a happy adult life with many positive happenings

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Grocery Store Anxiety Is A Real Thing | /r/Greentext

File: slagerij-hizmet-9-min.jpg (719 KB, 1920x1080) mumous (ID The Grocery Slop problem is out of hand Anonymous (ID: FICCBR3v 10/12/22 (Wed)22:43:53 No.399537026 [Reply] ► Everything on the shelves is poison. Absolutely packed with sodium, saturated fats, sugar, seed oils, hydrogenated oils and chemicals. The only way to win to is cook all of your meals from scratch. +88 replies and 14 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: 46/ndT3k) 10/12/22(Wed)23:33:47 No.399543675 >>399538139 I don't eat produce because I get anxiety when I try to open the little disposable produce bags at the grocery store and it's stuck together and I'm fumbling with it, feeling more anxious, getting worried people are staring, feeling so emasculated, that I just throw it back down and go buy a box of hot pockets instead. 10/12/23/Nadi22:23:10 No 200512690

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anon doesn't like harry potter | /r/Greentext

File: hpvsloter.png (562 KB, 536x386) ORDRINGS ☐ LOTR and Harry potter Anonymous 10/12/22 (Wed)12:46:47 No.887187154 ► LOTR >chad wizards use staves (have big cocks) >millions of different races and all of the good ones are white >main villain is chad armored dude who deceived the race of men and controls the betas with his chad ring, turning said betas into chads >elf ladies are hot >menthor character dies fighting against a literal demon to save his party and comes back even chadder >main character is on the verge of death and loses an entire finger near the end of the story >author never added in representation through tweets for brownie points Harry Potter: >virgin loser wizards use wands (have microdicks) >only one race that is capable of using magic and has minorities in it >main villain is some virgin loser with no nose who murdered MC's parents >elves are f------ disgusting slaves >menthor gets hand gangrene and has to beg one of his most loyal teachers to kill him (doesnt even come back) >the only interesting thing that happens with the main character is getting some dumb barely visible scar >author tries add in representation through tweets for brownie points. learn the difference

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anon visits a lifting subreddit | /r/Greentext

>be me, redditor sort of into lifting >new sub recommendation comes up, r/funbodybuilding >seems ok, they mostly just post lifting memes and fails >there is a daily hot chick called a "daily test booster" >kinda cringy but funny i guess >I comment something generic like "nice ass" on the most recent one >immediately some guy starts asking me to describe what I would do to her, and starts rambling on about her "anhus" >when I don't reply right away he goes crazy and says I'm treating him like garbage >then some guy named pacjax says that "m-word" and "p-word" are morally wrong and basically I'm going hell for commenting on the pic >a bunch of other people also named pacjax start harrassing me >I post a normal squat form check video >gets downvoted to hell >r/funbodybuilding? more like r/notfunbodybuilding

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i mean idk he looks pretty comfy might be alive still | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 56818991 985.9 kB PNG 11 REPLIES >Be me > Run out of neetbux > Hungry > See pic related running in neighborhood > Runs like a crab > Capture it > Stuck in my freezer for time being > It froze completely in like 7 hours > Next day go to store > See family looking for a dog. > Shows me pic. > Exactly like pic related 6 hrs ago ... > Apparently they are called Chihuahuas > Rush home > Grab out of freezer and throw into dumpster > Did I f k up? In my defense I didn't know that dogs were that small and I thought it was a rodent like a possom or something. 4 IMAGES

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Anon is unfathomably based | /r/Greentext

File: flat, 750x,075,f-pad, 750x1000,f8f8f8(...).jpg (72 KB, 750x1000) COMFY O Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)22:06:29 No.70566498 [Reply] ► >>70566545 >>70566716 >be me >have bad day >make cocoa >drink cocoa >day good >pic related O Anonymous 10/12/22(Wed)22:14:13 No.70566545 >>70566498 (OP) Very based. Stay strong, king

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Anon tries to have a serious discussion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 40K lore discussion 426 KB JPG sus How does the imperium choose which psykers to make into librarians and guard psykers and which to feed to the emperor? Anonymous >>86354721 (OP) # 10/12/22(Wed)22:23:12 No.86354751 10/12/22(Wed)22:21:11 No.86354721 : Anonymous >>86354721 (OP) # AMOGVS 10/12/22(Wed)22:24:16 No.86354761 Anonymous >>86354721 (OP) # you see anon they do an emergency meeting and the sussy psykers get ejected into the emperor's mouth 10/12/22(Wed)22:25:47 No.86354783 : Anonymous >>86354721 (OP) # Penis inspection 10/12/22(Wed)22:25:58 No.86354787

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous * 290 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)19:10:32 No.67991793 >be me >somewhat shy >walking to the squat rack >from the corner of my eye, see the most beautiful man I've ever seen walking in the same direction >can literally see his 10-pack through his shirt >actcool.gif >keep on walking >so does he >reach squat rack >he's looking right at me >somehow, my shyness just disappears and some primal instinct kicks in, so I make eye contact and keep looking into the darkest, soul-melting eyes I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on >adrenaline kicks in, and without thinking, I move closer to him >he moves closer as well >in the heat of the moment, without even saying anything, I slowly go in for a kiss >my heart skips as many beats as humanly possible as I realise he does the same >suddenly, *bump* >mfw my head almost shattered the mirror trying to kiss my reflection Appreciate yourself anons. You're already beautiful exactly the way you are.

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Im be like that sometimes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: q1S8wdt2 07/20/14(Sun)00:27:43 No.557553041 >>557551179 (OP) # >walk by the den one day >computer is within view of the door >dad is on the computer, doesnt 55 KB JPG hear mewalk by >viewing some creepshots of milfy news anchors thighs on google images >can see his has 3 other pages pushed to the side from other p--- sites. He's viewing them all at once in a frenzy >chuckle, and walk away >week later I come in late at night, stoned like a cheating muslim women >dad is standing in the kitchen with a baggie from my stash >"anon, just what the hell is this?" >"...well, I can tell you what its not.... a google search of your favorite news anchors thighs" >dead silence hangs in the air, he gives me a nod and leaves the room >mfw >never speak about ethier incident again probably the closest father and son moment we've ever had

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