Anon unearths a conspiracy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous CO 7 KB PNG >won't let me >liar 10/10/22(Mon)15:06:08 No.887082245 >feel ear pain and go to doctor >doctor asks if I've been using q-tips >say no (I have been) >tells me q-tips are bad >ask him if he uses q-tips >he says no >ask to look in his ear

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon aborts the mission | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >see hot huge ass black milf at gym this morning >I walk behind her at one point >peepin dat ass >get kinda close to chat >open my mouth to say hi >she smells like absolute s--- Wefuck@lackGirls 10/09/22(Sun)17:07:17 No.887035135 18 KB JPG >continue walking like nothing happened why do they smell /b/ros? I wanted to put my d--- in her

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Anon took xanax | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >I just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying

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Anon foresaw the outcome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.43 MB GIF 10/09/22(Sun)05:22:49 No.27461455 >go to library to study >qt3.14 college girl sits directly across me despite many other seats >can feel her glances >see her twirling her hair constantly >say nothing, just continue to write javascript >she leaves after a few hours Why do I blow every single opportunity? Oh well, it was probably all in my head and she would've been creeped out if I said anything.

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Femanon eats too much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB PNG 10/03/22(Mon)22:03:06 No.70451079 >be fat f--- femanon going to college away from family >have an overeating problem >recently got access to daily food funds from a scholarship, basically more than anyone can use >except for me >for the past two weeks I've been on a nearly unrestricted binge >use over 80% of my daily funds each day, try and max it out >probably consuming over 8000 calories daily I'm spiraling out of control I knew this was going to happen when I won the scholarship I think I might legitimatly die if someone doesn't take away this money

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anon has the perfect gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/20(Fri)15:06:46 No.60397618 >have gf >shes an autistic medical student >be autistic econ degree who posts on 4chan >she loves science and examines bacterial samples for fun >buy her a microscope for her birthday >we have sex later >c-- on her stomach >"wow anon that was great but i need to get up" >think she didnt like the sex >she just wanted put my semen on a microscope slide >shes standing there naked examining my sperm under a microscope >we spend an hour examining my sperm and using stats to determine my fertility >she gets aroused by the sperm density >have sex again I love this woman but our children would be mega autists

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Anon’s good actions don’t go unpunished | /r/Greentext

20220721_060029.jpg 105 KB JPG >be me >walking around in public with my concealed carry >someone starts a mass shooting >thisismytime.appimage >kill him and save untold lives >go to court >get charged with murder of a federal agent >mfw

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Anon is a master of English language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)16:36:36 No.18313528 >>18313283 # >In English I can both read and potentially understand a word I've never encountered before Okay, without looking it up, tell me what 'enormity' means >>18313532 # >>18313849 # Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)16:38:56 No.18313532 >>18313528 # your mothers stripper name

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anon has music taste | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/16(Thu)10:35:03 No.67546083 >refrigerator makes a buzzing sound >roommate is annoyed by it >f------ pleb doesn't appreciate this free drone music >he calls a repairman who fixes the fridge >no more free drone

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Katanas are overhyped according to Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/09/22(Sun)10:11:56 No.55560165 [Reply] Katanas are overhyped meme s--- >if you try to block with it your sword will be bent out of shape or get cut in half >if you try to stab with it will bend out of shape if you hit bone or armour. Usually don't even have a pointed end because of this >can only slash which is negated by folded cloth or chain mail >short The katana only became famous because it's good at kill unarmed and unarmored peasants

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Welcome to The S.H.I.E.L.D | /r/Greentext

4G+ 202 B/s ← ا /b/869124426/ 6m (12/23 0:20). 869124426 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 80KB (228 × 221) 1 Reply >Nigg Fury >mfw Why am I like this /b? 33% a 5m (12/23 0:22). 869124527 >>869124426 (OP) Because you're a retarded f-----. Refresh 01:47 >Be me >Everytime there's somebody called Nick in my head sounds like Nigg 00:27 :

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Anon sings “Friends” theme song | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/21/17 (Mon) 20:29:59 No.86680971 >>86681119 SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAYYYY *gunshot *gunshot "gunshot "gunshot You're hooked on crack and smack, And your welfare's late today! The car you stole is stuck in second gear.. And your babby's daddy won't get out for another 5 yeeeeaaaars

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Anon gets a present. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 184 KB JPG 12/19/19(Thu)22:08:34 No.55881493 >>55881452 https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ Is/1MH2KBAUT8LLW?ref_=wl_share Really hoping for a tree this year its all I want couldn't get it I posted in the last thread without realizing it was past 500 Samta Thank you, your order has been placed. Please check your email for order confirmation and detailed delivery information or visit Message Center to review yo notifications New! Get shipment notifications on your mobile device with the free Amazonas 12/19/19(Thu)22:10:55 No.55881511 Order Number: 112-5850041-0711429 SYLVANIA Mini Christmas Lights, Multi will be shipped to Tree Anon-by Amazon.com Estimated delivery: Dec. 24, 2019 MyMagic Tabletop Xmas Tree 24/60cm Arti... will be shipped to Tree Anon-by Amazon.com Estimated delivery: Dec. 24, 2019 GameXcel Christmas Balls Ornaments for X... will be shipped to Tree Anon-by Amazon.com Estimated delivery: Dec. 24, 2019 >>55881573 # Super Christmas Tree Skirt Large 48 inch P... will be shipped to Tree Anon-by Amazon.com Estimated delivery: Dec. 24, 2019 Review or edit your order. >>55881548 this is legit anon hope you enjoy it :) dear tree anon merry f------ christmas man < 3 Screenshot_102.png 48 KB PNG Anonymous >>55881511 wait wait you're kidding theres no f------ way are you serious right now its not a troll or grinch or anything? Im actually going to have a tree this year? Samta 12/19/19(Thu)22:13:26 No.55881548 12/19/19(Thu)22:14:03 No.55881556 12/19/19(Thu)22:15:58 No.55881573 Anonymous >>55881556 Words can't describe how thankful I am I won't give you a s-- story, its just been a rough past few years considering I'm retarded but Its going to be so f------ great to just have a small Christmas again, you have no idea how much this means to me HAH! THIS IS F------ GREAT. I feel like a kid again. I'm gonna keep this for years to come.

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