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: Anonymous I need help <2 O 09/29/22(Thu)13:21:25 No.70395619 I'm gonna have to take a few days off. My little brother drowned in his pool yesterday afternoon A D Did anyone try putting him in rice? Lol just kidding take as much time as you need iMessage Read 12:39 PM •1• 20220930_185254.png 288 KB PNG I sent this to my colleague, how do I recover this? 26 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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FemAnon is mentally challenged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 458 KB GIF 06/09/22(Thu)14:19:12 No.26651696 >have ex-bf >was really the nicest guy I've ever met, and took me this long to realise what a positive influence he left >wasn't ready for him back then, as personal life drama made maintaining relationships impossible >look him up for the first time in eight years >he's now with a girl, and traveling to all the places he and I talked about traveling >she's 12 years younger than him Why do men do this? 06/09/22(Thu)23:44:37 No.26654402 : Anonymous >>26651696 (OP) # >break up with a guy >he moves on and finds someone else >"why do men do this?" Are you mentally challenged?

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anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 10/22/20(Thu)12:22:20 >21 years of my mom taking me to doctors trying to figure out what's wrong with me >keeps hinting to doctors that I have autism No.60581964 >keeps trying to show me movies and books with autistic people in them to get me to understand that I'm autistic >sends me to a school for autists and learning disabilities >doctor diagnoses me with PTSD >mom gets diagnosed with autism Anyone else know this feel? : Anonymous >>60581964 >ah the ol switcheroo nice plot twist 10/22/20(Thu)12:24:04 No.60581979

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Anon pranks a man into literal insanity | /r/Greentext

File: 1357294497319.jpg-(8 KB, 240x201, MYAH2.jpg) GI 30 00 Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:14:57 UTC+1 No.448468523 Replies: >>448473628 >>448473757 >>448481272 /b/, I have a story. It appears a stupid prank amongst co-workers gradually grew until my dumb idea for a joke caused a person to go insane, an attempted suicide, and nearly killed a completely innocent, oblivious pregnant woman. I'm going to tell this story, and for those of you interested, put on your reading glasses, it's a doozy. >work at a Menards wor >be a stocker, my time slot has a group of seven stockers >one Fone of >Ken is sort of a c---, really isolated, snarky, plays by the rules and rats people out to the managers even though the managers don't give a s--- about anything >another one of these stockers is named Deb her one >Deb is engaged because she got knocked up >I'm friends with three of the stockers, we hang out after work, get high together, get into all sorts of hijinks >one night we get super high and watch the Adjustment Bureau >discussing conspiracy theories after the movie for hours >I come up with a fun idea: of these stockers is named Ken >"What if we, just, like, kept sneaking some message to some random person until they went nuts?" >we discussed it for hours, coming up with dumb s--- and giggling like retards >next day we're driving to work >one of my friends comes up with the idea >"Hey, guys. We should totally do that subliminal messaging s--- to Ken" >we all agree >but what message? to be continued >> Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:21:39 UTC+1 No.448469476 ! File: 1357294899527.jpg-(41 KB, 146x151, wut.jpg) GI >I come up with the message >"We should just keep sneaking in killing Deb into conversations. Like, if we're talking to each other around him, somebody just mention it and if he notices pretend like it's nothing." >We begin that day >Every time we're by him and talking, somebody sneaks in some quick blurt of "so when are they killing Deb?" or something stupid >at first we keep snickering when we do it and Ken doesn't catch on, but after a few days it's already just a part of work >we instinctively sneak it in to as many things as possible >two weeks into this process we sneak one in as Ken walks by >but another coworker was stocking right by us >as soon as we sneak in the "so when's Deb getting murdered?" our coworker laughs and asks what the f--- we said >let them in on the joke >that coworker tells other coworkers >eventually everybody in our department is in on the joke except for Ken and Deb >even the f------ managers sneak it in when talking to us >this goes on like clockwork for a month >Ken starts starts getting weirded out, notices when it comes up but says nothing >one day I walk to go use the bathroom >I'm in another department, other side of the store, Ken is nowhere in sight >hear somebody say "Yeah, and then after you empty this pallet, we've got to work on the Deb killing." >wut.jpeg >the whole f------ store is in on this >there are hundreds of workers in this store >people just casually sneak in the Deb murder lines everywhere throughout the store >even on days Ken isn't working >What the f--- have I done? to be continued >> Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:27:32 UTC+1 No.448470247! File: 1357295252174.jpg-(7 KB, 151x209, god damn.jpg) GI >"Uh. I don't >the joke starts to grow beyond my control >I hear casual references to Deb's baby being the spawn of the devil >we need to kill Deb before the portal to hell is completed >this goes on for another month >Deb's pregnancy is starting to show >one day I get a phone call at midnight >Don't recognize the phone number >"Uh, who is this?" >"It's Deb from Menards. Are you friends with Ken?" menian >"Uh, not really, why?" online >Ken called her freaking out about her baby >Ken doesn't come to work for a week Tommy.com >walk into Menards one day letin boar >there Ster a bulletin board in the conference room >somebody has has put up a chickenscratch note saying "baby-devil, kill it" >the f--- is going on? >when Ken comes back he's noticeably psychotic >he's lost tons of weight, stutters, darts his eyes everywhere, and keeps writing in a little notebook he keeps with him >keep seeing him staring at Deb, Deb avoids him like the plague Chee >one day I find his notebook left at our computer desk >look around to make sure he's not anywhere to be seen >open it >he's been writing down names of people, sentences about Deb, trying to put together the story about the baby >oh_shit.gif It gets worse. >> Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:33:04 UTC+1 No.448471025 Replies: >>448474525 File: 1357295584741.jpg-(27 KB, 200x224, oh god.jpg) GI >one day at work, I'm talking with my coworkers, and Ken comes up to me >coworker tries to slip in a Deb line, stop him >"What's up, Ken?" >"I need to talk to you, it's important." >he makes me go all the way to our conference room on the other side of the building >asks me how well I know Deb >"Not very well" >"I think something's going on. Either she's in grave danger, or she's very dangerous." >i'm not even laughing, i'm legitimately frightened >"Last Tuesday at eight forty seven you said the baby's gonna be the key to the portal," did you not?" >I remember the exact date and time because of what happens next: don't think I did, Ken." did, Ken. >"Here," he handed me a sheet from his notebook >he wrote down every date and time he heard me say anything about Deb or babies >and some of them almost definitely did not happen >one said "December 12th, 9:16, We have to empty its blood or it will bring the end of days" >I did not work that day and DEFINITELY never said anything like that >What the f--- is happening? >> Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:38:24 UTC+1 No.448471664 !! File: 1357295904709.jpg-(53 KB, 720x540, ruh roh.jpg) GI >I tell Ken he should get some help >he refuses and tells me I can't tell anyone >i tell my coworkers and they think it's hilarious >i'm seriously horrified about this >debate whether or not I should tell Deb >decide against it >try to stop as many people from continuing the whole joke >it's unstoppable >i have no control anymore >the joke has grown into a whole conspiracy >one day Ken is running around looking for his notebook >he cannot find it anywhere >that night I find out somebody from electrical stole it and sent an email with some of the important information Ken wrote down to plan.co >people began to plan so that Ken's prophecies would come true >eventually somebody came to work in a black shroud and kept walking around aisles near Ken >Ken >apparently, Ken wrote about a black shrouded figure destroying the baby kept seeing him in his periphery >Ken goes home sick S---'s about to get real >> Anonymous (ID: ZQYAQpEg) 01/04/13(Fri)11:41:42 UTC+1 No.448472075 !! File: 1357296102607.jpg-(183 KB, 800x599, 1296301766126.jpg) GI proceed >> Anonymous (ID: Rv5naVfM) 01/04/13(Fri)11:45:47 UTC+1 No.448472582! Replies: >>448473479 >>448473574 >>448474000 >>448474798 >>448478410 File: 1357296347555.jpg-(8 KB, 264x191, suck on my swordcane.jpg) GI >be this week >Ken has December 31st through January 2nd off >he comes in the second >buys a few things >hangs around our desk and just acts creepy >ask him if he's okay, says "I've been better," and won't say anything else after that to close >leaves ten minutes to >today neither Deb nor Ken came to work >they were both supposed to >a worker from millwork runs over to me >"Dude, Ken f------ went crazy." >well, yeah, he had been crazy since this thing started >"What happened?" >"He tried to kill Deb. He broke into her house with a hunting knife and tried to stab her stomach but her fiancee beat his ass. He slit his wrists on their lawn. He's in the hospital." >...oh f--- me Deb quit and is pressing charges and filing for a restraining order, she and her fiancee are moving. Ken is no longer working at Menards and is facing serious felony charges. Apparently he didn't cut his wrists too deep and is making a full recovering, physically. I feel badly. I wish I could confess and take some blame for this, but how? What the f--- would I even say?

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Anon has a John Marston fantasy | /r/Greentext

23m (9/29 21:30) - 613639050 6 Re. 1 Img JPG 3 Replies 62KB (522 × 588) 400 : >invite girl to watch movie >cinema turns out to have been closed down due to covid/bankrupcy >invite her to my place >she watches me speedrun RDR instead of movie >she loves it. she laughs a lot and goes Awww when John recovers and spends quality time with his family >"that's how we're going to live when we're married and have kids, homesteading and farming i mean" i say >we're married and expecting a kid now this ks the power of videogames. put it to good use, anons, and have a great day

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Anon hates communism | /r/Greentext

why the f--- are people still (...) 09/29/22(Thu)21:47:13 No.397513213 >belief is used on a huge country >became a nature hating failed dystopia >belief is again used on a huge country with billions of manpower and fertile natural resources and strong culture >the culture almost died while the country became a nature hating dystopia >the belief is AGAIN used on other small countries >all of them became living hell 4 KB PNG >while the belief is proven many times to be complete unrealistic b------- made by a rich f----- who never experienced the hardships of life >Yet western mfs are still trying to follow this s--- We don't need any more third world hellholes, stop being a commie ffs

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Anon protected himself | /r/Greentext

17 KB JPG >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon talks about his feelings | /r/Greentext

View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO Trace fctyler-main.jpg, 63KiB, 737x708 Why are women retarded Anonymous Tue 27 Sep 2022 16:39:16 No.27391990 Replies: 0 View Report >Be me >Gf always talks about how men should talk about their feelings >get in a fight >call her a bitch >she gets p----- >she was being one women only want you to talk about your feelings so they can take advantage of you be wary anons

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Guatemalanon asks about Canadians | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [] >>171564606 # >whites stole land from natives >don't give land back to natives >don't let whites keep land 09/29/22(Thu)07:35:41 No.171565106 >instead invite the entire rest of the world to live on the stolen land so they can feel guilty also Why are Canadians like this?

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the great cuckening | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: j90MWBxh) Are redditoids the ultimate cu(...) 5 Awards My wife had cookies made to celebrate my vasectomy. 09/29/22(Thu)13:16:12 No.397491047 CREAM PIES for life 4 107 KB JPG The_Great_Cuckening.jpg 633 KB JPG I hate liberals so much it's unreal MAKE LOVE NOT BABIES >Wife afraid of c------- >Husband gets his b------- snipped >Wife still wont let husband bang >Tyrone comes over while husband is at work and creampies her Anonymous (ID: 303M0Vgu) STRAIGHT OUTTA SPERM >"Thank you for castrsting yourself hubby I love you so much" A : Anonymous (ID: 1Q8NIHOZ) 09/29/22(Thu)13:18:46 No.397491285 >>397491047 (OP) # it's not our problem. more women for us 09/29/22(Thu)13:20:17 No.397491400 >>397491047 (OP) # >rewarding you for taking a medical procedure that in a vacuum you were unwilling to take That reminds me of people getting vaxed for free donuts

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Anon leaks the Mario Movie Trailer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 501348161 363,2 kB PNG Vor 7 Std. ●●● >this summer... >everyone's favorite plumber... >is coming to the big screen >cuts to bowser voiced by Adam Sandler What a bummer! >Ke$ha starts playing WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY >Mario wakes up giddy for the morning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to wake up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio "in other news, princess peach has been-" >Mario, voiced by Aziz Ansari "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!" >Luigi, voiced by Owen Wilson, "just go on without me, man" >Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! >Without you I'm just... Regular Mario Brother." >two brothers will find themselves >Mario "what?! Peach is missing?" >Luigi "really?" >and maybe Peach >Mario "and bowser took her?" >Luigi "wow REALLY?" >but first they have to find Bowser >bowser: "I know what girls like!" >presents a bundle of flowers to peach >background music goes silent >peach: "uhh, fire flower?" >camera angle changes to side shot of both bowser and peach >fire flower shoots flames in bowser's face for 1.5 seconds then dies for another second of silence >cue audience laughter >who might need to be saved from peach >peach, voiced by who do you f------ think, it's Kristen Schaal "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even to the Olympic Games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!" >this summer is going to be >montage of slap stick >bowser twerking >Mario "aaawkward" >this summer is going to be... >montage that's pretty much the inevitable dance party ending >toad doing a head spin >"LIIIIIIIIT" >this summer is going to be! >montage of every time they say "super" in the movie >SUPER >Super Mario Bros.

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The anonymous is green | /r/Greentext

05/09/22 (Mon)00:51:22 No.167758051 my dad locked me in my room and i needed to s--- so bad, i was banging on the door but he wouldnt let me out so i tore up some pages from blood meridian and shat on it and then wiped my ass with it and then, while pacing my room i accidently stepped in it and got s--- everywhere and vomited, then when my dad let me out he beat me. im never reading that f------ book : Anonymous >>167758866 # >>167759058 #

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femanon's crush | /r/Greentext

284 KB PNG >be me at 19 years old >Hispanic female who is roughly 50 lbs overweight but I don't think I'm that ugly >Have guy I like, let's call him Sean >Sean is a good friend of mine >One day I decide to say f--- it and go over to tell him I like him >I get stoned and head over to his house >I'm about to knock on his door when I see his bedroom window open >I've pranked him in the past so I decide to go up to the window >I hear moaning and he's balls deep in another dude >He's got fingers in the dudes mouth and everything >I go home and try to eliminate the scene from my mind >Spend the rest of the night drawing lightning McQueen and listening to Eminem does it get better?

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Greentext Stories - anon texts a colleague | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous I need help <2 O 09/29/22(Thu)13:21:25 No.70395619 I'm gonna have to take a few days off. My little brother drowned in his pool yesterday afternoon A D Did anyone try putting him in rice? Lol just kidding take as much time as you need iMessage Read 12:39 PM •1• 20220930_185254.png 288 KB PNG I sent this to my colleague, how do I recover this? 26 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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