anon pulls a prank at work | /r/Greentext
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![: Anonymous Arbitard 944 KB JPG >Be me, 13 at the time, 2004 >Some important details I went to a k- 12 school, so I was stuck here for a WHILE. But thankfully my English teacher, Mr. Samson was based as f---, he let us watch movies, he would bring in snacks, when he taught lessons he would genuinely put heart into them, all in all he was a great teacher, even helped me with college applications later on. >We had a tard in the class, i think his name was geoff or jeff or however its spelt, severe autism and ADHD, he meant well but he was absolutely retarded. >One day Mr. Samson says that IF the whole class gets at least an 80% average on the coming test, he will bring in His Xbox to the classroom and let us all d--- around on it >We manage to get 84% and he brings it in the following monday. >Brings in some games like tetris and Uno, but also Halo 2. Because this was 2004 we were all >Some guys bring controllers, and we d--- around on slayer for the last 30 minutes of class (The way the schedule worked is that we had four blocks and lunch, each block was one class period and they were 90 minutes each.) >We are playing through Halo 2 campaign, suffering brain damage due to Jackal Snipers, and Geoff is LOVING the arbiter. >Like, hanging onto everything he says, and sitting like 4 inches from the projector screen whenever it was an arbiter mission. That was when Arbitard was born. >Arbitard would always repeat what the Arbiter said in his retard voice, and would always get upset when we killed elites, hated the brutes with a BURNING passion. : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous Getting too long, Ill continue in a moment. I dont have this all pretyped, so bear with it. 32 KB JPG >>70247987 # : Anonymous : Anonymous >Now, as this was a public school, everyone was bullied. Doubly so for arbitard due to mental issues. >The main f----- was named Jack, he was almost 6' even, 230 pounds and had an almost full beard. Stereotypical douchebag jock even has the IQ to go with it. LOVED picking on scrawny nerds, stealing s--- from people, etc. >For our local High Prophet of Down Syndrome, he was actually pretty well built for his age (13 at the time, year younger than me) 5'5, 160 and not only HAD tardrage, but could CONTROL it too. >So Jack is picking on the one other friend Arbitard had at the time, cant remember his name, so lets call him Harold, little scrawny black kid, despite being black he was actually pretty intelligent, would do assignments for people for money. >Jack's doing his whole routine, trying to steal money from Harold, when Harold's very own arm of the prophets comes not so much striding over, but falling his way over to him. >>70248147 # >"HEY CWUT THA OWT!" Yeah he actually sounded like this. Imagine Mickey from ODST but a little higher and with a speech impediment. >Jack f------ whips his head around and says "The hell did you just say?" >Arbitard says "DWONT FIGHT LWITTLE FWEND, IT DISHONORABLE" >Im pretty sure Dishonorable was the longest word he ever pronounced correctly. >Jack begins walking over to Arbitard and flicks him in the head. >Badmove.jpg : Anonymous 1.56 MB JPG >>70248024 # : Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous alright you. I'm bored as hell and my cat wont get out of my lap, so to kill time I will tell you the story of arbitard (https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=sZuC8FtKqlc [Open]) and f------ Rhino charges Jack >Flings Jack down and begins punching him in the head. One of Jacks cronies grabs Arbitard's neck and tries to throw him off, but Arbitard punches him in the nuts >Arbitard surprisingly lets Jack go because "DISHONO FOUR HIUFSJ) (3rd guy who saw go down it couldn't tell what he said after for), grabs the money he stole and walks away with Harold and #3 in shock. >Jack had to go to the hospital for like 20 concussions, a broken nose and 3 missing teeth. Not knocked out, MISSING. The janitors only ever found 123 KB JPG >>70248327 # one tooth. I still sometimes wonder what happened to the other two. >Lets just say everyone respected Arbitard's Honor after that. : Anonymous >I have a few more stories I wanna tell, but its mostly just Arbitard trying to be "Honorable" and either doing something awesome or retarded : Anonymous 57 KB JPG >>70249365 # >>70247987 # I got your back >About two or three months afterwards, christmas time >We are doing secret santa, so we all get each other gifts (My best friend got my name, he gave me a giant can of baked beans for s---- and giggles) >Someone gets Arbitard a plastic Energy sword and his eyes LIGHT UP. >I swear to god, allah, Obama and whatever other gods ive never seen anyone that happy for a 10$ piece of plastic. >Hugs the dude who gifted it to him, begins swinging it around while trying to do arbiter's lines. small broom and offers to do a >Mr Samson grabs a jokey swordfight > Munch on some beans while seeing an English teacher with a broom swordfight a tard with an Energy Sword. Overall a pretty good Christmas, solid 10/10 : Anonymous 09/17/22(Sat) 10:06:40 No.70247679 I just noticed I said I was 13 at the time, this is untrue, I was 14 at the time, I just misstyped it. Also my cat got out of my lap half way through the first part Anyways, onto the story 7 KB JPG >High and >He tries but turns school he grabs >Gets it I know some f----- is gonna screenshot this and upload it to r/greentexts or something. Eh, who cares. Onto the story. This takes place out of school, but it still involves Arbitard. >Me and my friend are chilling in a video game place near my house helping the owner set up a pokemon tournament, total bro, He still works there now, but also now sells technology stuff. >They sell alot of Vidya stuff, Xboxes and all that for tabletops, but they all sort of stuff like 50$ for his do jazz. Mainly >In comes Arbitard. Apparently he got birthday, so he came here to see what happens. >Immediately beelines straight for the megablocks sets. >The owner, Anthony, steps behind the counter and begins ringing him up. >Anthony doesnt have change, so because it was like 5$, Anthony offers to him for if he is willing to us move some stuff. >Now, do you remember how I said that Arbitard can tard strength? told him about looking at the mega blocks sets tables that took all three of it free help Yeah, we control his that while he was >Arbitard literally carries us to lift SINGLE F------ HANDEDLY, we only needed to lift to help balance. from >Arbitard gets megablocks set Comes back to time and Pic related, looks found a pic exact one, but I remember it came with time similar, carbine. >Arbitard tries doing the Elite battlecry >>70249405 # 09/17/22(Sat) 10:09:28 No.70247703 09/17/22(Sat) 10:11:07 No.70247721 09/17/22(Sat) 10:34:20 No.70247958 him of brings kid a to do out Last one for now. But my cat is its time for the this thread meowing, know Keep later. so I ritual feeding. bumped and III probably post another >Be chilling with Beanbro, eating this was Summer and talking. the food court lunch at the mall, playing 2003. We are Arbitard. >In comes was packed, and smell too bad for a tard, him let us. we flag him a slice he has been >We offer doing >Turns out he two after alot >He always >He walks honar" some high school about the sword. Just a reminder that up, and some lights redneck walks around asks 09/17/22(Sat) 10:34:35 No.70247963 09/17/22(Sat) 10:37:19 No.70247987 got his 09/17/22(Sat)10:38:43 No.70247999 the 09/17/22(Sat) 10:40:45 No.70248024 09/17/22(Sat) 10:43:59 No.70248053 09/17/22(Sat) 10:53:35 No.70248147 09/17/22(Sat)11:12:33 No.70248327 09/17/22(Sat)11:43:13 No.70248667 mop some on Now, he down and actually 09/17/22(Sat)12:26:27 No.70249332 helping mop and our GBA's because didnt around of pizza, own to the bathroom, kid comes and his near offer this is a tard Xbox, dad. his with him and up walks and 2 to and enjoys it. enjoys it. on ebay, not the a little and retarded is still wet. we Energy sword his gun. if the wall. foot around when to him hands. and a he chucks he wants got soda and grabbed chugging it him ask spinning prop the in his eyes, to wipe his eyes with his >Mop hits a soda display, like dominoes, bottom. >Almost flying everywhere, flipped the me, beanbro cover, beanbro table for a half empty one on the floor started and >After all is beanbro. said done, Retarded because its dude costed like worth of like 800$ of damages soda getting into some electronics >and beanbro got a free soda. 200$ soda and worth due to single he bottles Arbitard him what Halo CE and for "muh comes back asks him and sword that with it like a to swordfight, thing with it, mop and tries sit with are one at the](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/442/054/227.jpg "ArbiAnon... | /r/Greentext")
