Policemen pity anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't like his neighbours | /r/Greentext

14m (9/3 17:27) 885005173 5 Re 0 Img JPG 34KB (612x612) 4 Replies . KRYPTONITE this really happened >be me, 3 weeks ago or so >have a discussion with the neighbor about where can we put the trash so that it's picked up >neighbor is a young, thug looking, pot smoker mexican guy >i'm a big guy, i'm an amateur boxer, i can't lift a finger unless the other guy is armed or throws the first punch, and even then i can get in big trouble >neighbors are working on their house, they're leaving construction materials and construction trash on the side walk, if they get caught they get a large fine : >yesterday i got myself a bike lock at the chinese store, it's made out of kinda good steel, it won't be opened easily >at 4 am i go to the neighbor's outside door, and close it with the bike lock, also add a large paper sign "traspassers will be taken to the authorities" too high to be removed without a ladder >this morning i saw the young thug neighbor and the other workers baffled at the lock, trying to get it open by hitting it with a hammer, but realizing that they will damage the door if they continue >call the cops, tell them that a group of thugs that smell like pot are trying to break in the neighbor's house >get 3 people to do the same call right away, all saying almost the same thing >2 cop cars arrived 5 minutes later, they got there right when the neighbor was trying to climb up the door >the property is a rental, nothing prove that they're not breaking in yet >almost all of them had some sort of illegal drug on them at the time >5 guys end handcuffed and taken in to the police department >they'll be there 48 to 72 hours >will break his water pipe today, report it to the water company and since he won't be there to answer for it he'll get a large fine over wasting water at a time of drought >will do the same with the wire that goes to the ground and report him to the electric company, with any luck they'll respond quicly and he'll get his service canceled he messed with the wrong neighbor

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Anon needs to fap to go to sleep. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous The closest I ever got to anything with my mom. >10 years ago >family event, have to share a hotel room AND a bed with my mom >night time, we get ready for bed >16 y/o at the time so I can't sleep without jerking off first >wait for her to fall asleep 09/03/22(Sat)23:16:18 No.70072090 >pretty sure she's asleep >slowly stroke c--- >getting closer and closer >mom leans over me and grabs a tissue off the nightstand >"here" >"o-ok" >c-- in tissue >go into bathroom to further clean up >stay in their for what feels like an hour because I'm too embarrassed to go back to bed Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. >>70072594 #

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anon spitting true facts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat) 16:59:58 No.70068657 [Reply] >>70068733 >>70068747 >>70069360 >Some retarded feminists come out with the argument that "r--- isn't about sex, it's about power" >Other feminists all applaud her >Becomes news-worthy and is perpetuated in many political cycles >Scientists come out saying this is provably false >Gets said over and over until it becomes common knowledge, all women repeat the "R--- isn't about sex, it's about power" mantra >Politician start making policies and laws based on that myth >Bad ideas lead to bad policies, so no reduction in r---, but women feel good saying it, so they'd rather keep saying it and keep getting r---- instead of actually admitting that r--- is about sex so we can have better policies and laws >If you call this out, you are labelled ignorant at best or misogynist at worse What the f--- is wrong with women

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Anon Gets Foreign Poontang | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5YGd0+cg 251 KB JPG 02/24/22(Thu)00:03:11 No.362779921 Does anyone feel some sort of excitement for WW3? i would enter the war just so I can re foreign p---- : Anonymous (ID: kHxhvb4G 02/24/22(Thu)00:04:06 No.362780226 >>362779921 (OP) # >foreign p---- all p---- is foreign to you >>362780640 # >>362780815 # >>362783620 # >>362784227 #

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well known stand up comedian, Asa Akira | /r/Greentext

what are your favorite quotes from Asian people? Asian-Americans are welcome too Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)21:53:50 No.7070039 >f--- that a------! f--- that f------ a------!! ohmygod.. >Asa Akira, stand-up comedian, 2010

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Anon shoots his shot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat) 16:11:45 No.7007203: Please be patient I'm doing my best A790B0F8-01D7-4446-AE08-20727F1DE142.jpg 66 KB JPG >Home Depot >My f------ dream girl is working the paint station >literally tripped over my feet when I first saw her >despite being a coward around women, I know I have to try with this girl >grab a can of paint I do not need and bring it up to her for mixing >she smiles at me and I smile back and we chit chat as the paint mixes, I ask her how she likes her job and such >after she hands me back the paint I say Hey, would you mind if I gave you my number? >in an instant her expression changes and she looks at me like I am a bug crawling across the floor >she says F--- off >loud enough that people standing nearby turn and stare >walk away feeling my face burning and sweat prickling all over my body >feel so awfully that I throw up in the parking lot next to my truck I do not understand what I did wrong

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Anon reads Berserk manga and learns a valuable lesson about pre marital sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/20(Mon)13:18:20 No.212596710 ► >>212598194 File: 1597600334552.jpg (107 KB, 1022x1280) >>212595488 >Griffith has sex with Charlotte without being married >Gets tortured for a year >Guts has sex with Casca without being married >The Eclipse happens, killing all their friends I think you're onto something here

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Oh no anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous uh oh 8 KB JPG 04/28/22(Thu)06:57:06 No.68404039 > me > scrolling 4chan > see haha funny post about some schizo being worried the government is watching him > "hahaha f----- schizo kys" think about it before going to bed > I use duckduckgo > I use Firefox > my android phone has nothing google on it (to stop tracking) > I use Linux (cause Microsoft tracks you) > always use Tor (better privacy) > TONS of Firefox anti-tracket stuff > cookies clear every one minute (stop trackers) > host my own tor bridge so ISP can't snoop on my traffic > phone stays off when I'm outside the house to prevent my sim card being tracked when connecting to cell towers > not even my work knows who tf I am (I work remotely) 5 Replies / 1 Image > schizophrenia runs on my dads side of the family uh oh anons View Thread

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)11:27:52 No.885002769 1.33 MB GIF >be me >loser manlet >167cm >hate my height >prettyboy genetics + pimples and Jesse McCree hairstyle >between the age of 14-16 >know this tomboy richgirl from childhood like it's some sort of fanfic >she's a dream gf, plays games, sexy chubby, tomboy and will bully on demand >we start talking after she went to different school >she's actually into me >we make out etc. >we watch stranger things in her house because mine is s--- >she keeps mentioning that she really likes fullmetal alchemist and wants to watch it with me >nowayfag.jpeg >don't really care about anime or manga (I've only read Homunculus) >after our autistic journey of a year we break up >today >20 >decide to check what Fullmetal alchemist was about >read that protagonist was insecure about his height >he was 5'5 >mfw I hooked up with a girl autistic enough to think of me as her anime protagonist without my knowledge

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Anon loves his pet cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 885000757 741.4 kB PNG 7 min ago ... storytime >be me >talking to cute femboy for 3 months >finally meet >spend 3 days at his house >f--- constantly >don't c-- once >go home and stroke pet cat >instantly c-- pants >w--

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Anon is a vlogger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/21 (Sat)22:41:11 No.139492275 >Greetings from (Impoverished Eastern European City)! >Today, as I walk through dystopian hellhole, I'm going to inconsiderately shove my camera in people's faces and document them the way a National Geographic wildlife expert documents the surrounding fauna. >You see, radiating ridiculous amounts of confidence, charisma, and a nice smile renders people completely oblivious to the fact that I take advantage of desperate eastern European girls on a regular basis under the guise of being a "cool international vlogger" >Haha! Here we have the local beggar with severe frostbite, *points camera at him* priviet bratishka, kak dela? 9 KB JPG >*films the surrounding poverty and misery* >Haha! Other than that near miss in Chechnya, I have no idea how I didn't get lynched yet! It's insane how much I'm getting away with! >Lets move on then! Thanks for tuning in!

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Taking the easy stance | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 minute ago 67980174 · >become obsessed with girl >become an emotional wreck since i know i cant ever work up the courage to talk to her >reevaluate all my previous stances on relationships just cause for once i found a girl attractive >basically change my whole way of life because i find a girl attractive >after a really bad bout of depression that lasted like 2 days where i was just in pain over the fact that all my friends found love and i was the one who didnt i came to a realization >this girl is ruining my life >wake up the next day with absolutely no feelings whatsoever towards her >quality of life immediately improves >all because i just stopped caring it's that easy

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