Anon has a plan to make women lactate | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 08/26/22(Fri)08:51:56 No.173161885 >>173161917 >>173161942 >>173161987 File: 9WA5t1x.jpg (143 KB, 984x734) >>173161005 >go to california >find out where she lives >find out her jogging routine >put ads out for a babysitter >find a family who trusts you >take baby out on stroller >hide phone in pram >play looping baby crying sounds from youtube in the pram >nobody can stop you legally from inducing lactation in women tell me why this wouldn't work

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn’t realize the pussy makes noise w a condom sometime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF) 167 KB JPG 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >>267225105 # >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaXz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now

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Anon doesn't like Mary Jane Watson. | /r/Greentext

File: Img_2022_08_25_12_36_33.jpg (330 KB, 864x839) Anonymous 08/25/22(Thu)18:44:00 No.610148652 >>610150379 >>610150518 >>610150882 >>610151104 >>610151124 >>610152519 >>610153117 >>610154169 >>610154561 >>610154806 >>610154972 >>610154980 >>610155063 >>610155085 >>610155131 >>610156901 >>610161869 >>610163275 >>610163567 >>610164567 >>610165703 >>610168165 >>610172660 >>610173313 >>610174007 >>610174070 >>610175341 >>610176823 >>610178220 >>610180857 >>610182073 >>610182226 >>610185126 >>610185375 >Is just a privileged malnourished vegan trust fund bitch from New York who lives in an ivory tower. >gets captured by terrorists dozens of times because she thinks life is like Scooby Doo >Tries to sneak in her designer boots and leather jacket >Her entire cause it to take pictures for a f------ newspaper >Needs to be saved moments from death by her boyfriend who is a superhero >"I NEVER ASKED YOU TO SAVE ME" >"I CAN HANDLE MYSELF YKNOW" >Like some frat girl picking fights for her bf she constantly grs herself in trouble so Spiderman can save her >Instead of supporting her crime fighting bf who actually makes a difference in the world, she just belittles him out of jealousy Why was emjay written so F------ retarded. She's so awful it's like an incel who hated women wrote this dogshit character

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Anon is mario | /r/Greentext

18 KB JPG Autism thread? I'll start >be me >see post about guy falcon punching his bully >mario is my favorite character in smash >hatch master plan >next day at school >bully comes up to me >"hey fatass! Give me your money" >pull hand sanitizer out if pocket >pull lighter out of other >put sanitizer on hand and light it >yell "ITS A ME, MARIO!" >punch him with the force of a thousand Worth it suns >his face gets lit on fire >we both ended up in the hospital with third degree burns

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Anon didn't take his meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LocqDYCq Pandas are fake, but how? 08/25/22(Thu)08:46:36 No.392524643 Grosser_Panda.jpg 240 KB JPG I know pandas are fake. Evidence: china never wrote about them ever. Westerners discovered them 1880 first skin, 1916 first cub found by a f------ zoologist, ain't that convenient. Only 26 pandas in zoos around the world. What is the conspiracy. How did they fake them. Paint? No. Genetics? I need answers.

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anon isn't pog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG explain Why must fate hurt me this way? Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake >she blocks me before I can Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.

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Anon learns how to masturbate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/17(Sun)19:55:19 No.754163302 >be 14 >Don't know how to masturbate >Home alone 486 KB JPG >Go on a s----- p--- site that I honestly thought was the only source for p--- on the internet >Has images of Brittany Spears nude >I just sit there naked for almost an hour, occasionally patting my d--- >>754169608 # >>754169961 # >>754173777 #

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she's not Benjamin button and she's not Andy Milonakus | /r/Greentext

ISH TISH AC M AWARD T ipanews_addcf6e6-f052-4d74-98b5-c87f7af8926d_1.jpg 69 KB JPG Does Millie Bobby Brown have that aging disease where you look 3x your actual age? This is her at 16. She literally looks 40. Anonymous >>172932899 (OP) # That disease is known as being British. 08/21/22(Sun)07:50:12 No.172932929

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anon works at the pool | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 315 KB JPG 08/26/22(Fri)00:27:35 No.884534435 >be me >work as lifeguard for indoor pool >sitting in my guard chair, slow day today >kid with downs walks in >not wearing any swimming clothes, just casual wear >he waddles up to me >"how's your day been, anon?" >i tell him i've been fine >"how much do you bench?" >i tell him i can only do a single rep of 185 >"wow, you're so strong" >he walks out of the pool, never to be seen again thank you, random kid with downs. you've made my day

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Anon hates pigs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 463 KB PNG 08/25/22(Thu)12:35:08 No.884510968 >be me >18, still in hs >in ap psychology >walk in and sit at my seat >look up and see this fat pig wearing a tank top that has her fat spilling out the sides I f------ hate fat people.

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39)-863436421 2 Re-2 Img-JPG-1MB (1080 x 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this :

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field day fun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dtUxdExd) SCHOOL BUS 04/24/13(Wed)03:18:43 No.475144081 103 KB JPG ITT: we post weird elementary school memories >3rd grade >Eating popsicles on field day >One kid is eating a hyperstripes (S---- red white and blue if you didn't know) >He starts to feel sick >He vomits, and the vomit is just a swirly pool of red white and blue >I stand up immediately, and put my hand over my heart >We sing "God Bless America" as our comrade is taken to the nurse's office and the teachers look at us with a mixture of pride and deep disturbance.

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Anon plays a game | /r/Greentext

78 KB JPG Post the most painful, cringe inducing moment in your entire life. >Be horny 15-16 year old >Live next to my 13 year old cousin >Shes cute at hell, looks like a f------ anime >Cousin is a shut in, shes innocent and trust people. Because of this shes kind of slow >When parents arent home i'd go over cousin house on the pretense that we didn't have a cable and they did >I invent a game me and her would play when her parents werent home >Game basically involved me shoving my tongue down cousins throat while she tries to push my tongue out of her mouth >She really believed it was a game, she even hugged me to get a better grip, i'd fee her t--- through her cloth i held her while kissing her, sometimes jerking off in the back room Skip from summer to f------ thanksgiving >Be eating turkey with family >Everyone is at the dinner table, dont wanna be there >Cus is sitting across from me >While im watching tv i hear everyone freaking the f--- out >Cus was trying to play the game with my uncle >Look at her and shes f------ terrified >Not knowing what the f--- was going on i stay >Her Dad asks her w-- shes doing, she tells him about the game >Dad asks her who taught her the game >She cries and tells everyone i played the game with her a "ton of times" >Entire family looks at me with big wide eyes and open mouths as if i was a f------ monster >A sharp cold chill shoots up my nerves, my entire body is shaking like a m------------ >I stutter "Execuse me i have to use the restroom" i nearly trip and im starting to black out >I hide in the restroom the entire day >The dad and my mom knock on the door asking for me but i literally would not budge until it was midnight and everyone left

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