we ain't ever gonna make it | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous >24 year old virgin >coom daily for years to women way out of my leauge >Not p---, just beautiful women, models, etc. >Finally go home with a girl irl >She is average looking like me 18 KB JPG >We get nude >dickfailure.png >Realize I can't get aroused by average looking women anymore She was visibly upset 07/29/22 (Fri)01:05:03 No.69597321 25 Replies / 3 Images : Anonymous View Thread 07/29/22(Fri)05:38:54 No.69599499 >>69597321 (OP) # dickfailure lol We ain't ever gonna make it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has moved up in society | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)22:11:24 No.883308705 >Be me >Manage a mechanic shop that is part of a larger franchise >have one of high school teachers pull up >ah s--- >pull up and have to put on a s--- eating grin >do a general service on her car >as we finish up and she is paying she looks my dead in they eye and whispers "I always new you wouldn't make it far in life anon, should have payed attention in class" >easily make more than her and I don't have to deal with horny and retarded high school students Feels good man

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Anon is Kanye is Q is a hacker is God | /r/Greentext

File: Creation of the Sun and M(...).jpg (958 KB, 2184x3064) Anonymous (ID: MVhHJ2HB) 05/12/14(Mon)14:31:45 No.546150057 >Be me >God >Alpha as f--- > Omega as f--- >Flash back to 4.5 billion years ago >I'm high as balls and come up with this crazy idea >It's a way for species to change into other species over time, without me having to do s--- >Call it "evolution" because it's a cool sounding word >Create planet, put a few microbes on it, and upload evolution algorithm >Fast forward to present day >I'm partying it up with some T-Rexes on this dinosaur planet I just created >Decide to check in on evolution planet to see if anything interesting has happened >Discover that it's populated by billions of creatures that look like me >niggawhut.jpg >But they don't have my powers, they're just a bunch of mortalfags >Still pretty freaked out that they look like me, though >Check back in on evolution planet after a few hundred years >All the mortalfags have uploaded their consciousnesses into a giant quantum supercomputer >It can talk >It tells me it is capable of perfectly simulating an infinite number of universes >And one of those universes is the one I'm in >MFW I created myself

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Educated Conversation From /lit/ | /r/Greentext

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Europeans find out Americans hate walking | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_20220804_143840.jpg (194 KB, 1080x768) publié par u/chicametipo il y a 7 heures 5 $2 29.3k Just driving back from my morning jog, minding my own business and then suddenly, Florida man 2.2k Commentaires Récompenser Americans drive to go jogging? Anonymous | 08/04/22(Thu)21:40:28 No.168911817 » >>168912314>>168912661>>168913419>>168914320>>168915482 pls explain APPALION Partager Sauvegarder >> Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)21:42:27 No.168911919 ► Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)21:44:04 No.168912011 ► >>168912101 >>168912135 >>168912178 >>168912231 >>168912280 >>168912309 >>168912361 >>168912382 >>168912471 >>168912487 >>168912661 >>168912743 >>168912840 >>168912853 >>168912885 >>168913075 >>168913156 >>168913307 >>168913490 >>168913576 >>168913699 >>168913722 >>168913896 >>168914059 >>168914305 >>168914435 >>168914653 >>168914673 >>168914761 >>168914780 >>168915097 >>168915175 >>168915396 >>168915461 File: Bright+School.jpg (206 KB, 1000x750) jogging and running is done most often at running tracks. sometimes in parks, savvy people may also jog inside shopping malls with AC. actual travel by foot can be very dangerous, and is illegal in some municipalities

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Anon meets Chad (not the country) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >o-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will teach you deadlifts" My king My liege Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. WE WILL MAKE IT!

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The CIA will soon contact anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)17:00:22 No.69681757 >be me >sometimes shadows dart out vision >had to chase a bat out of the house recently >kept "seeing" the bat when it wasn't actually there >at one point I thought there were two bats >today >listening to music >keep feeling like someone is calling my name >take out earbuds >nothing Uh, I'm getting worried bros. Am I just being paranoid? >>69681847 # : Anonymous >>69681757 (OP) # that sounds like the beginning stages of schizophrenia. If drugs aren't involved, I would see a psychiatrist just in case in they continue or get worse. 08/04/22(Thu)17:01:51 No.69681773

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Anon has grandmas favour | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)18:11:13 No.881918969 301 KB PNG >be me, 34 years young >mom says she's going to see gramgram >tell her I'll go with her >be me, at gramgram's house >four other cousins are there >grammy doesn't complement any of them >looks at me with the biggest smile >"oh anon you look so handsome"

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anon is thinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous R$ 16 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)10:58:55 No.883217819 is it gay to kiss your homies

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anon's nighttime fun | /r/Greentext

Adobe_20211006_151803.png 78 KB PNG >get up at 4am to get water >Go upstairs, kitchen window has a small light going through it >Creepy guys staring straight through my window with smiling faces >Wake up again, my dog is humping my leg and I accidentally s--- myself mfw

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there are people born in 2010 here | /r/Greentext

55m (7/29 21:30). 171817799 33 Re 3 Img JPG · 57KB · (400 × 387) 10 Replies >there are zoomers on this board RIGHT NOW who've never seen Back to the Future 54m (7/29 21:31) · 171817848 2 Replies >>171817799 (OP) more like back to your rocking chair old man lmao

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Anon has gotten weaker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Aesthetics 49 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed) 23:21:13 No.883251380 >me as a teen >can watch rekt stuff with no trouble, could probably eat a sandwich while doing it >me in 20s >watching rekt f---- up my head and makes me depressed what the f---

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Anon makes tea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)16:16:49 No.728028942 >>728029231 >>728029551 HOW TO GOOD F------ TEA: UTENSILS: BREWING VESSEL (TEAPOT OR GAIWAN OR FRENCH PRESS) THERMOMETER TIMEPIECE HOW TO F------ BREW: PRE-HEAT YOUR BREWING VESSEL BY SWISHING HOT WATER IN IT (EMPTY THAT HOT WATER AFTER DINGUS) ADD YOUR F------ TEA (1 TEASPOON PER CUP, PLUS ONE EXTRA FOR THE POT) ADD YOUR F------ HOT WATER LET IT STEEP THE APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF TIME POUR IT INTO A CUP AND DRINK THAT F------ S--- >but what was the thermometer for GUESS WHAT FUCKNUTS-- TEA HATES BOILING WATER, TOO HOT AND SCALDS YOUR F------ TEA YOU NEED PROPER WATER TEMPERATURE FOR A GIVEN TEA TYPE GREEN TEA PREFERS ~65-75 DEGREES BLACK TEA PREFERS ~70-90 DEGREES THAT'S F------ CELSIUS YOU C---, F--- IMPERIAL >alright but the timepiece? YOU GOTTA F------ TIME YOUR BREW S------- ONE TO THREE MINUTES FOR GREEN THREE TO FIVE MINUTES FOR BLACK >milk and sugar? NO >what about herbal F--- YOU

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