Anon is funny | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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OP’s about to have a hell of a ride | /r/Greentext

retard How f----- am I? MIO ENERGY CARENZA VITA ÇAL $1 281 KB JPG 06/25/22(Sat)05:31:42 No.67322925 I didn't realize this had caffine and was sucking it straight from the bottle this past hour. I am 6'3" and 150 lbs (not a regular here). This has 60mg of caffine per squeeze, and 18 servings. Doing the math I just consumed 1080mg of caffine. Do I survive? : Anonymous >>67322925 (OP) # OP you are about to travel through time, see you on the other side 06/25/22(Sat)05:39:16 No.67323001

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Anon's friend has good taste | /r/Greentext

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Anon plays the flute | /r/Greentext

70 KB JPG >Be me, have masters degree in flute performance >Obviously can't a job playing the flute >Work for a fabric/craft store >Owned by horrible baby boomer lady >She says I play the skin flute >Then she laughs in horrible smoker voice >Also makes us work overtime, refuses to pay it >Calls me a skin flute player everyday >This goes on for a year >Decide to get my revenge >Her husband is always in the store >Follow him into her office >She will be back from her hourly smoke break in 3 minutes >Play her husband's skin flute >She walks in while I'm giving him the b------- I've always wanted >Marriage is wrecked >Gay but totally worth it >It was my greatest flute performance

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anon talks to a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)20:58:11 No.880120113 how am i this retarded >my only friend convinces me to go out for the first time in years >the idea of it makes me sick but i decide some socializing might be 170 KB JPG good for me >get to the bar, bartender is a really hot girl >"what can i fix for you anon" brain does an autism >"your teeth." my friend finished his drink and we left.

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Anon doesn't like living in the United States | /r/Greentext

File: ezgif-3-694efc6508.webm (2.62 MB, 576x1024) >>384016080 >>384016165 >>384016168 >>384016216 U I f------ hate this godforsaken country Anonymous (ID: XhJU6A2P) 06/26/22(Sun)15:13:33 No.384015956 >>384016293 >>384016305 >>384016307 >>384016377 >>384016378 >>384016397 >>384016405 >>384016445 >>384016453 >>384016457 >>384016593 >>384016610 >>384016636 >>384016719 >>384016777 >>384016818 >>384016910 >>384016917 >>384016928 >>384016993 >>384017082 >>384017093 >>384017484 >>384017517 >>384017656 >>384017705 >>384017737 >>384017760 >>384017973 >>384017990 >>384018002 >>384018161 This video I took with my phone yesterday is in a Walmart bathroom where a dysgenic fat f------ piece of lard who has s--- stains in his underwear and amputated toes which is probably from complications due to diabetes sits and defecates. I'm not even kidding it's from a Walmart bathroom and it smelt like death.

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Anon aces a public speaking class | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/28/21 (Wed)15:20:48 No.853184775 File: 1611427684701.jpg (57 KB, 275x275) >>853183576 >be me in college >public speaking class >have idea >tell prof on 1st day I stutter sometimes >it's ok anon we'll get through it >really lay it on >3 minutes per paragraph in front of 40 peers >next week do a little better >can still see pain in the faces of kids when I stammer for 10 seconds on a word >prof encourages me every time >she even kicked a kid out of class for saying "come on" under his breath >improving every class >almost no stuttering now >final speech give a perfect oration for me, didn't have to fake stutter at all >get an A mfw never stuttered in my life

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Anon cleans his room | /r/Greentext

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Anon attends a Russian theater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Moscow theater showing pirated version (from torrents) of batman LOL 04/26/22(Tue)14:51:05 No.167141834 LOO0000000L.jpg 56 KB JPG : Anonymous >>167141834 (OP) # >projector fires up >ad pops up >exit ad >click search bar >some Russian Google chrome browser homepage >types in 123movies into search bar >clicks first link 04/26/22(Tue) 16:46:24 No.167148013 >doesn't work >clicks second link >clicks on search bar >ad pops up >exit ad >ad pops up >exit ad, click searchbar >hit play >hit full-screen >type in Batman >click The Batman (2022) >ad pops up >exit ad, hit full screen >Russian audience starts cheering Sounds based to me

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Anon is a femboy enjoyer | /r/Greentext

SOMEONE F------ HELP ME!! 1654566158993.png 432 KB PNG sandcavern I was born a man I should be strong and independent, but I love the idea of being weak and pathetic and needing to rely on a real man for everything

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Robots in disguise! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous TRANS RICHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 103 KB JPG Anonymous 121 KB JPG 10/21/21(Thu)11:39:48 No.865318875 Alright, /b/, when I say trans you say rights! Okay, got it? Great, let's go! TRANS! 10/21/21(Thu)11:40:12 No.865318885 FORMERS!

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Anon finds out the cost of printer ink | /r/Greentext

31.0 kB JPG >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY

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Anon got the job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/21 (Sat)06:40:51 No.61783638 >>61783639 File: busy at work.jpg (983 KB, 1780x1780) LOKA >>61783628 >be me >be NEET for 7, almost 8 years >depression and anxiety >live in childhood room at my parents place >start looking online for stuff to do >see commercial for Securitas guards >"huh" >start checking it out, find out there's a course in just a month >sign up >get my security guard license pretty quickly >look for jobs >local hospital hiring a guard >apply >get answer within 5 hours >go to interview >they hire me almost immediately as a night guard >get the most chill job on the planet >have my own "chill corner" in one of the hallways where the cute nurses take their coffee break >get a comfy bed to chill in >spend most nights just reading or watching youtube/browsing /int/ >sometimes toss out a drunken fool or junkie looking for drugs Pic related is my life at night.

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