Anon kills his mom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 : Anonymous I had the best dad > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 285 KB JPG > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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We need a new subreddit for AI greentexts since they are actually funny | /r/Greentext

Playground >be me >be japanese wage cuck >work at company that's been making losses for years >be told to take a pay cut or be fired >take the pay cut >be told to work harder or be fired >work harder >be told to work even harder or be fired >work even harder >be told my work is unsatisfactory and that I'm being fired >go home >wife asks how my day was >tell her I got fired >she starts laughing >tells me she's been cheating on me and that she's leaving me >go to my room >log on to 4chan >see greentext about how someone's day went worse than mine > feel better

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Anon sees the end | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/22(Wed)20:57:02 No.69052713 >be unemployed NEET >hear about Al artists and artists complaining that their lifetime acquired skills are now useless due to technology >haha stupid wagies >go to /r9k/ >full of Al bots making greentexts funnier than anything I could come up with >realize the flood of unemployed will cut into NEETbux it's over

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Xir yes xir! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET. ELLA

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Anon contributes | /r/Greentext

>be me >college loser >in a math-heavy program >have exam coming up >barely study 27 KB JPG >smoke weed and eat churros >exam time comes, get 16% >not a typo, I somehow got 16% >prof has a policy where he'll change how exams are written if class average is under 65% >announces that the majority of the class passed but due to a few outliers, the class average was 64.2 and next exam will be open book >realize I'm a f------ hero >smoke weed and eat churros What have you guys done for your community lately?

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Anon's a (enter word that gets this post autoremoved here) | /r/Greentext

File: 675fbf80eabf11721c93f345a(...).jpg (62 KB, 633x758) Anonymous 04/10/21 (Sat)20:40:13 No.851798799 > Get new iPhone > Immediately drop it > Not shattered, just a big f------ scratch right in the middle of the screen > Get some #120 sandpaper and scrub the screen with it > Tons of tiny scratches, didn't even get rid of the big scratch > Panic > Get a finer # 80 sandpaper, rub it even harder and longer, just white from thousands of scratches Am I a f------ retard?

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Anon gets sent to the shadow realm | /r/Greentext

>be me >find girl on tinder who plays Yugioh >can tell she's fake fan who only likes the anime and characters >challenge to duel if I win tell her she has to have sex with me 416 KB JPG >if she wins she can kick me in the balls >I run Mystic Mine, know I can't lose >we meet up and duel >she plays Sky Strikers and wins >I call for best 2 out of 3 >she wins again >kicks me on the balls as hard as she can >I suffer testicular torsion >doctors are unsure if I'll be able to have kids someday now

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Anon writes a greentext. | /r/Greentext

06/16/18(Sat)22:53:06 No.771737312 >/b/ me >write incredibly long greentext about the sad story of my relationship with my gf and our breakup >go to post it >remember i haven't linked a picture >put this stupid picture of this fish in a : Anonymous 200 KB JPG mousetrap >file was too big >lost the story Kms

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Anon feels betrayed | /r/Greentext

>see 4chan users praising how this site is "not against free speech like other social media" solely because they can write slurs like "f-----" and "t-----" 260 KB JPG >Make a post saying to worship badass strong feminine looking male characters like Ash Crimson from KOF instead of uwu delicated femboys like the norm >post gets deleted in less than an hour You m------------ lied to me, this ain't free speech lemme talk about my fighting game characters Anonymous >>880178726 (OP) # You got your hour of fame, don't ask for more FATAL FURY 06/15/22(Wed)12:44:45 No.880178753

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Anon likes oreos | /r/Greentext

06/15/22(Wed)09:22:05 No.69052441 = Screenshot_20220614-221322_Chrome.jpg 196 KB JPG >be me >want oreos >no money >post address on craigs list >tell people they can come to my apartment and do whatever as long as they bring oreos >like 10 guys show up within an hour >an o--- breaks out I got doublestuffed : Anonymous

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Exactly what would happen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/14/22(Tue)16:24:45 No.880148023 >be me >have ability to brings anyone who's ever lived back to life WHAT HAVE I DONE? >resurrect Isaac Newton >spend a whole week catching him on society and technology 401 KB JPG >let him live in my guest room >give him computer to work on >tell him humanity needs him >just interact with him to ask him to fix problems, encourage him to publish any findings to the world also to feed him >ffw 2 years >still nothing on news on any breakthroughs >thought he was working on a huge project >turns out he was just jerking off to gay p--- and playing Valorant >bwaun moment >pic related

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Valentine's Day | /r/Greentext

TMXTH No.749218743 20 minutes ago JPG 14.3 KiB 395x372 Wanted to share something with you /b/ >Be me 21, very poor and broke at Uni. >Has a rich qt as gf. >She loves me, never asks for gifts. >just my company and me helping her in studies. >Life is good. >Valentines week comes and GF not even once mentions about it. >Still.. I love her and wants to impress her. >I collect all my savings and finally have enough bucks to buy something. Go to the mall. >Everything is so expensive. >Everything is out of reach. >Luckily finds a nice perfume, because she loves perfumes. >hoping she would like. >Spends the rest of money on nice gift wrap. >Left with no money even for the public transport. >Doesn't matter cuz in love. >Walks 3 miles to home. The V-Day comes. >We both chillin in my room. >I show her the gift. >She gets really excited. >Opens it up, in a hurry. >Me scared if she will like it. >She really loves it. >Hellyeah.jpeg >Starts jumping around with tears in her eyes. >Hugs me tight, >Kisses me. >We both cry, Alot! >That gift was only worth 25$ and it meant the world to her. >I would never let her go lads. >I love her. Peace 2 replies

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Anon hides his money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:38:58 No.805356843 What is the best way to hide cash ? please be serious. Don't say up my ass. Give me genius tier ideas. I don't like keeping everything in bank. 128 KB JPG And don't say obvious things like under the bed, in a shoe box. : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue) 18:40:06 No.805356891 (OP) # >>805356843 Up your ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:13 No.805356894 >>805356843 (OP) # Up my ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:22 No.805356902 >>805356843 (OP) # Hide it under your bed then shove the entire bed up your ass

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