Anon plays the autism card | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)08:05:52 No.62991407 >boss calls me into office >"hey anon we noticed you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers unless you fix that you're unfortunately done here" >"sorry im autistic" "OH... OH MY GOD... okay... i'm so 31 KB PNG sorry anon... get back to work and there's no issue here" wow im not even autistic but that was easy

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon cleans the litter box | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)00:27:16 No.876427885 >be me >19 >Dad wants me to clean the litter box >grab a bag >fail to notice small hole in bottom >start scooping >finish 55 KB JPG >"Anon, throw that s--- away, it stinks" >only hear "throw that s---" >stand there >start spinning the bag >bag breaks >cat s--- goes flying across the floor >dad watches >dad stares >mfw I'm f------ retarded

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Anon knows "you die if you worry, you die if you don't" | /r/Greentext

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Anon needs self-esteem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 47733285 1 hr. ago •.. >l just lost an argument in my head against a person that doesn't even exist >l even stuttered 48.1 kB PNG 2 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon changes his mind | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IP4U8N1W ) [] 10/05/21(Tue)09:10:37 No.342225864 MAKE AME GREAT AGA maga vax.png 435 KB PNG >*cough *cough >"o-okay, please give me the vaccine now. W-what do you mean it doesn't work that way? Please, I have a wife and ki- >BEEEEEEP

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Anon is a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)10:08:19 No.53656767 >be boomer >cooking steak on the grill >using spare college degrees to fuel fire CRISTAL >smells like when we used to napalm the g---- >flip steak >top side of steak is branded with 100 KB JPG Ronald Reagan's face >l can feel the patriotism coursing through my veins pick up bottle of steak sauce >bottle is empty These damn millennials are f------ us in the ass.

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Anon discovers simping | /r/Greentext

>be me >bored at home >decide to look at reddit >make an account >decide to larp as a cute underage asian egirl >post a bit and instantly get weird guys in my dms >talk to one a bit, it hets sexual >eventually he askes for nudes, i send him some random ones from google >he now wants me to masturbate on a call for him >tell him i don't have a microphone (i do have one i just cant do a girl voice) >he offers to buy me a microphone just so he can hear "her" masturbate in a discord cal what the f--- is wrong with redditors

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Anon wishes he was born as a different sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 40543791 16 min. ago ••• >be female >Can get lovers effortlessly, many of which will literally pay all your bills just because you have a vagina and let you neet it up forever >get jobs even without proper quali- fication because MUH OPPRESSION gender quotas and shiet >have your special halo effect, "women are wonderful effect" that ensures 193.2 kB JPG people love you and care about you by default >can ruin any good man's life on a whim, no consequences >can f------ cosplay and occasionally take pics of your feet and get $50k a month on patreon from thirsty betas truly the oppressed gender REPLY

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:40:39 No.68253662 1648682485324.png 52 KB PNG >had to stop doing drugs to get clean for a much better new job >now pretty much just sit in my chair and wait until i feel sleepy and sleep and go to my s--- day job >do nothing but work and come home and wait for the next day >video games arent fun and too poor for hobbies is this really all there is to life : Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)10:42:38 No.68253678 >>68253662 (OP)# Yes sir wakey wakey wagie 1.6 MB PNG

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Anon didn't get the memo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:03:19 No.849174362 >step mom moving stuff in the house >shelf falls over and traps her arm >she yells for my help >"anon, please, help me. I'm stuck." 420 KB JPG >l know exactly where this is going >whip my d--- out >she yells what the f--- >my dad walks in >flips out >they call the cops, I get arested W-- BangBros, you lied to me

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Anon finds the cure for depression | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)22:07:44 No.63205272 >take some money >come to brazil >f--- some over 14+ pardinhas >enjoy some bossa nova >practice some real jiu jitsu 133 KB JPG >hit some beachs >f--- some pardinhas again >say bye bye to depression It's simple, depression is a first world thing of people who think too much of the next step, brother. >>63205284 # >>63205336 # >>63205340 # >>63205348 #

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Anon meets a girl online | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/17/22(Sun)08:18:34 No.68252604 >meet girl online last month >spending most days in calls together >asks me to "cuddle" over vc multiple times a week >sleeping in vc together >kisses the mic as if to give me kisses >watching our fave anime together >the feels start coming in 68 KB JPG >havent felt anything like this in 2 years >plan to ask her to be my girlfriend in the upcoming days >wake up >find out shes getting kicked out of her home by her parents >ask her does she have anywhere she can go for the next few days >"oh yeah im just gonna move in with my boyfriend"

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Anon erroneously does not ask for consent | /r/Greentext

> In college, walking down a pathway > see a table with what looks like model penises on it 15 KB JPG > Decide to investigate > They are model penises > girl at the table asks me if I know how to use a condom and I say yes > She asks me to prove it by putting one on a model >I do, and she says I did it wrong because I didn't ask the model for consent > I'm a r-----

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