Anon is Trans | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 No.52625171 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily 21 KB PNG >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Hello there, my sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)02:46:20 No.791658710 >be me >post true greentext about jacking off into my sisters panties >gets on reddit >sister is redditfag >shows me the story >fake laugh and spaghetti all over 25 KB PNG the floor >make up excuse about violent diarrhea before leaving >return all stolen panties >mfw this makes it on reddit too hi emma

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Anon calls police for refund | /r/Greentext

26m (3/27 18:05) · 875209045 2 Re · 0 Img · JPG · 8KB · (307 × 164) 1 Reply COPIUM f--- samsung f------ f----. >july 2021 buy ssd from amazon.com. >january 2022 ssd starts to fail. >ok shamsung willing to rma sweet deal send drive in january 31st 2022. >feburary 21st i don't have ssd. le qoui? >shamsung says it was delivered via ups. >call ups. sent to wrong apartment number. shamsung gave them wrong apartment number. >tell shamsung they sent to wrong apartment. >shamsung: "can you please ask them for the package?" >f------ what?!?!?!? >try anyways cause i just want my ssd. >no answer from tenant. >landlord can't help. >police says nothing to do. >i am livid. >shamsung says ups is investigating the issue and cannot issue a refund until it is complete. but will refund once complete. >what in the f------ f--- is there to f------ investigate. >march 20th. investigation is still open. >landlord calls me. ssd dropped off at office from wrong apartment tenant. >oh my god. >gonna pretend like i don't have the ssd and make shamsung give me refund cause f--- them making me wait 2 months and offering no compensation. >grab ssd. call ups for investigation update. >ups: "the package was returned and we are returning it to shamsung, investigation will close tomorrow" >f------ whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? >what do you literally even f------ meaaaaaaaan? >whatever. >ok sounds good thank you for doing a good job ups. >idk what the f--- shamsung is going to open tomorrow when they receive it. >f--- this >f--- you >that is all. >im getting my f------ refund >f--- shamsung >iwentto decapitalize.eu just for you f---- but just know inside im f------ screaming every syllable

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Anon Gets Fit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)18:00:05 No.66087007 C- 38E2D963-F897-43C9-915C-F8B870EAA70A.png 264 KB PNG >Lose weight >See tons of veins on my arms

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Anon Does a Little Rapping | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)18:34:24 No.67960852 >oh i rap a little >oh yeah >yeah man been workin on it >that's cool >care to share? >alright well here's somethin >l'M OOZIN ON THE POODLE BOOZE 62 KB JPG TOODLES AND I'M FRUGAL TRULY >uh huh >WHEN I SILENCE YOUR EYELIDS LIKE A VIRUS ON PAPYRUS PRINTER PLAYING CRYSIS WHY THIS DIATRIBE I'M ON A TRIBE CALLED QUEST I BEST FORGET LEST YE FORGET AT YE BEHEST >okay stop hold on >yeah? >that doesn't mean anything >nah like it's rhymes >yeah but it doesn't mean anything. you're not telling a story or really conveying anything meaningful >dude you just don't get it >try this >MY PENIS IS SQUEMISH AND MY FEMURS ARE ALSO PENIS I BEAM THIS S--- UP SCOTTY. THOTS BOW TO ME BONES OF AN INDIAN SAYING "HOW" BURT REYNOLDS SQUIRTING ON HIS PLOW I BOW >bro

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Anon Enforces House Rules | /r/Greentext

e clb.jpg (566 KB, 900x900) O ICANNOT STAND SMOKING AND DRINKING. Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)16.24:28 No.67959221 >Have divorced parents who've been heavy smokers/drinkers since I was born >Constantly have to tell them to go outside to smoke >Mom passed away from drinking too much alcohol, and smoking, last month. >Dad is the heavy smoker, and always gets p----- off if I tell him to go into the other room or outside. >Overtime my dislike has turned into absolute f------ maddening hatred. >Finally moved out of dad's >Last month >Have a no smoking/no alcoholic beverages sign on my front door. put it there when i first moved in. >One day dad came over and begun smoking Inside. >Caught him in the process. >Instantly anapped, took off my belt and whipped him across the mouth and face with the steel belt-buckle end of the belt. >Instantly dropped his c-------- and he begun screaming in pain. >Continued smacking him for over a minute. >He was able to get up, and run out. >Literally whipped his ass on the way out my door. >Cops got called and I had to explain. >They saw the sign and told my dad to follow the rule next time. >He did have to go to the hospital though. >Broke his upper lip, several of his teeth, and gave him a black eye and there's several deep gashes on his body. >Paid for the medical bill. >Now I have family members calling and giving me death threats and howi should treat my dad better. >Always answer with "Don't smoke or drink in my f------ house Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)17:58:13 No.67960383 File: 1432624906956.jpng (39 KB, 470x747) Based autismo AUTISM

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Anon reminiscing about his first time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/13(Sun)20:40:37 No.519059320 File: 1385948437099.jpg-(146 KB, 1080x1028, 1364342206417.jpg) >be me >virgin 15 years old >go get some with this older slut 17- 18 >just me and her in a room at a party >everything is going just as expected >she asks me if i want to f--- her yes.gif >puts condom on my d--- >gets on her hands and knees imgonnadoitdoggy.png >i begin to f--- her >going in and out, it feels amazing >do this for a long time >cant hold much longer >"so will you put it in or not?" >MFW i was just f------ her thighs >MFW i get nervous and lose my hardon >MFW this was the worst experience of my life Replies: >>519059849>>519060250>>519060817

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Anon breaks into a house | /r/Greentext

File: noided jpg (31 KB, 400x600) I Anonymous 04/13/19(Sat)12:36:53 No.51917888 >>51918171 >51919232 >be me >often break into people's homes >there is this one night ill never f------ regret >i approach one of the windows in complete black at 11PM >summer time so completely pitch blackness outside >i gently pry open the window with a crowbar and slice open the screen with a pocket knife >i crawi inside and sneak into the kitchen which leads to the living room >immediately their dog sees me >ohshit.webm >it's about to bark >while internally panicking i knock over a vase accidentally >dog growls at me >alarm goes off >must have motion sensors >i belt out the stupidest s--- i could have possibly said This is the sequence of sounds that happened. >"glass breaks* >alarm goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE >i yell "THERE'S A F----- DOG IN HERE" >mfw i'm basically noided

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Anon Meets Peter Griffin | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 02/24/22(Thu)23:54:22 No.31124711 2231124730 >>31124779 >>31125167 >>31125185 >>31125219 >>31125291 >31125301 >>31125417 >>31125538 >>31125569 >>31125655 >>31125720 >31125760 A month ago I discovered family guy through family guy funny moments and decided to watch the whole series. I have no money for any s----- streaming service so I had to use some random pirate website, probably got a virus on my computer or whatever. I watched the whole seasons and couldn't stop thinking about the show. Yesterday I started receiving emails from someone pretending to be Peter, I blocked the account after like 5 messages but this person just won't stop, and by the fourth alt account he started threatening my family, he got my ip somehow and an hour ago he sent me a photo of my house from google maps with the message "heheheheheheh hey anon, remember the time I set a house on fire?" Fellas what should I do about this l'm about to loose my mind

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Anon wants dudes to be slaves | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 7kTuOitw 51 minutes ago 1643900754396s.jpg (6.1 KB, 250x207) 369643945 DUDE JUST BE A SLAVE >DUDE JUST SLAVE AWAY AT A 9-5 JOB FOR 40 YEARS TO MAKE JEWISH BOOMERS RICHER, SINGLE MOTHERS AND F--- AND BLACK APES STRONGER, AND DIVERSITY MORE POWERFUL AND EVERLASTING >DUDE JUST DO ALL OF SAID ABOVE SIMPLY BECAUSE SAID JEWS STARTED FROM BEING MERCHANTS IN THE ROMAN EMPIRE, PLAGUED THEIR WAY TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT CIVILIZATION, SUCCESSFULLY GOT AWAY WITH LYING ABOUT A MASOCHISTIC FAIRYTALE AKA THE HOLOCAUST, THEN GAVE MINORITIES RIGHTS SO THEY COULD THEN MAKE DIVERSITY COMPANIES PROFITABLE AND POPULAR THROUGH BLACKROCK INVESTMENT FUNDS AND DESTROY FAMILY UNITY DUDE JUST BE A SLAVE 7 REPLIES

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Anon says thanks | /r/Greentext

ITT; cringe >be me >gf ordered Indian food >really happy for it to arrive >knock at door 71 KB JPG >l open the door >old man hands me small plastic bag of food "enjoy your food" >MFW "you too" >close door fast >spend entire time eating food with ptsd flashbacks about what I said

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Anon's dad found the gigachad folder | /r/Greentext

File: 5NH3UON.png (494 KB, 819x716) Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu)16:2 >dad found my gigachad folder Anonymous 04/18/19(Thu) >>52000432 (OP) lal realiy une worst olc iwouldlbehorified if he fo hie foldere for 3 vears LAnonvmous 04/18/19(Thu)

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Anon tries to be funny | /r/Greentext

File: srers.png (8 KB, 509x619) Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)18:17:28 No.67957033 [Reply] ► »67958420 >>67958430 >can't forget when I tried to be funny by playing 'DERP SONG 10 HOURS' on a school computer on a max volume

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