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>get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >'ll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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Anonymous ITT: Cooking buzzwords you hat(...) 1.4 MB WEBM 11/01/24(Fri)04:24:25 No.20946633 >comfort food All food is supposed to be comforting, there's no non-comfort food that's worth cooking. >soul food Its just basic American homemade dishes, but greasier and overcooked. >creamy Probably means it is tasteless without being buried in heavy whipping cream to mask the taste. >garlicky See above, just replace whipping cream with garlic. >fusion Oh wow, you added soy sauce to it, such fusion. Anonymous 11/01/24(Fri)04:39:15 No.20946637 >literal autistic retard triggered by everyday words and phrases thread no #43923948234 >>20946994 # >>20947280 #

BREAKING: Justin Trudeau to resign as Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudover... 466 KB PNG 01/05/25(Sun) 23:25:58 No.493452575 >Goes into office and Inherits a generous surplus from the conservative party >Squanders it all and ends up collecting more debt than all other PM combined >Lets food prices shoot through the roof, to the point Canadians are keeling over from scurvy (yes the pirate disease) >Exiles hobo towns and closes roads for a Taylor Swift concert >Doesnt do the same for a veterans parade >Allows swarms of jeets destroy the job market. >Provides incentives to jobs if they hire foreign jeets but not for Canadian citizens >Decides to throw all the blame on to his subordinates >They all resign and tell him to eat s--- >Does nothing and hides in his office for the holidays >Eventually rage quits after everyone calls for his resignation. Canacucks... I thought we had it bad.

Anonymous 37 KB JPG >be me 08/25/21(Wed)23:12:04 No.861801953 >22 and poor in college >deliver food for a restaurant for a few months >sometimes people order takeout but don't pick it up >if it happens late enough in my shift I get to take it home with me >always ate the best those nights since it was free >be me now, 35+ >started calling corporate restaurants and ordering takeout about a half hour before close >always spoof the caller ID to show up as my ex wife >been doing it for about 3 years >never pick it up >gives me a warm fuzzy feeling knowing i gave some young person a free meal and also my ex gets black listed from every restaurant in town

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pervert My sister caught me.... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:08:18 No.702431120 >My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert >Just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating >So she calls me a pervert 404 KB JPG again?!? >There is no justice in the world... : Anonymous 09/03/16(Sat)17:15:16 No.702431870 Pervert.

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Anon lives in the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes 83 KB PNG because they found a way to reproduce without us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown

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anon criticizes the writing in japanese games | /r/Greentext

>japanese game >trying to give the main female character a flaw >"DUDE WHAT IF SHE'S LIKE REALLY BAD AT COOKING LMAO?"

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kekpacito neiborino | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/15(Thu)23:28:36 No.660650487 Please spread this to save someone from being injured. Some fascists in Germany have placed stickers saying "No Chance For Islam" on lampposts and when you try to remove it, the razor stuck behind it slices up your hand. CRANG CANG KINE CHANCE image jpg 114 KB JPG >>660650773 # >>660651378 # Anonymous : Anonymou 12/31/15(Thu)23:34:40 No.660651378 >>6606501 >>660650487 # All stuffed w German engineering never ceases to amaze me >>660650679 #

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Anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext

ENE 62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly

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Anon can smell the hippies. | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-01-25 133927.jpg (100 KB, 513x488) O Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)20:39:05 No.874962857 >be me, rocksolid 9/10 sperg >can't have any conversation without pointing out little flaws of spelling, use of words or other things >usually dialouge dies off rather quickly, and people start to avoid me >did that for several years, couldn't figure out why people don't like me, since im correct >ffw to one week ago >big sister drags me to an alternative music festival in the greens >lots of smelly hippies >trippy music echoing everyhwere >probably all of them do drugs >despise them instantly >however, im following my big sis to not get lost in the crowd, also anxious af >sit down in a circle of people around a little bonfire, air smells funny, probably weed >people all talk with each other >try to get into conversation as well >whenever I start correcting them, they simply swap to another conversation >this happens several times in a short time >get deadly annoyed since im clearly superior >sister gives me a bowl with some drink in it >"Are you thirsty anon? drink up." >Drink that stuff, its sweet and i like it >feel very weird all of a sudden >get literally kicked out of my body, everything goes dark >see all sorts of scary stuff, faces, monsters, eyes, incomprehensible patterns >see myself from the outside >start talking to myself >im talking back to myself >I notice im a huge a------ >get into an argument with myself >after a short exchange, go away from myself, can't stand it >wake up at home >no memory whatsoever of what happened after the drink >go down to have breakfast with parents >start noticing stuff I never did before, nuances of their voice, hidden layers of facial expression >suddenly can follow a conversation without the urge to barge in and make it about me thanks smelly hippies, whatever you served me

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Anon saves a life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/23/21(Wed)17:26:22 No.857517553 >WE SAVED HIM! Yes! We did it team! We can keep him alive for decades! Sure he has no legs, no penis, no bottom half at all in fact, he'll never do anything sexual again. He'll never have children. He has no right arm, has to eject bodily waste into a bag for the rest of his life, can't work a job ever again, can't do anything physical ever again, will have a very difficult time playing video games or operating a computer, he will need a care taker for the rest of his life, will be a drain on society, a 170 KB JPG depressing burden on his family, and will ptobably begin to mentally deteriorate and suffer once reality sets in that this will be the rest of his life until he dies, but that's okay, because we saved him. If this happened to an animal like a dog or a cat we'd put the animal down to end its suffering out of the kindness of our hearts, but not here, here, we saved him and he can live and live and live and if he ever tries to commit suicide we will easily put him on 24/7 Suicide watch to ensure he can live out his life to the fullest! We can keep him alive to suffer for decades! We are heroes. 82 Replies / 23 Images View Thread

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Anon’s have spoken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/19(Fri)10:29:51 No.789716987 >ls a gamer >Helps working class people >Seems like a genuinely nice person to be around >Doesn't take corp. money 6 KB JPG >Sexy as hell what's not to like about our progressive gamer queen? : Anonymous 01/11/19(Fri)10:31:27 No.789717088 she's a jew >>789717298 #

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Anon sharts every morning | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/27/21(Mon)17:50:17 No.66734510 >Be wage cuck >Have IBS >Every morning have really bad gas >Have boss that never helps with work and is always late >Go onto his office every morning 168 KB PNG before he come into work >Make it look like l'm just taking out the trash Gotta cover my tracks >Unleash my assholes death breath in his office every morning >MFW my boss is convinced he has a sewage leak in his office It's the small things in life that keep you going 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has special interests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)20:48:07 No.873552449 pain.jpg 84 KB JPG >be me >one chance at life >only attracted to femboys >born in the Middle East to a broke family I am God's punching bag

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Anon earns 90 bucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)00:28:52 No.872764423 > be me > male, 20 > got asked to catsit > owners are japanese immigrants. They're polite, respectful, good people > owners will be out for 2 days > 346 KB JPG > they say theres no problem sleeping in their house if I want to > suspicious.rar > they show me the "cat" > It is their daughter > female, 22 or 23 years old, idk > she is a furry > cat ears, cat tail, meowing, walking on all fours most of the time. She wears knee pads and gloves, to avoid dirt > "f--- this, I'm out" they insist > they will pay me $90 > "ok" > they leave > me and her are alone now > she is staring at me, on the ground. She purrs, and slowly tilts her head > I try to communicate > she meows back > Jesus Christ... > 1st day > she lies on the couch on her back and stares at me >I caress her belly > she purrs > we both watch TV >I order sushi, oddly enough. She eats like a normal person, on a table, using hashi > she also uses the bathroom like a normal person > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy, though > "hey, kitty, want more caressing?" > she nods, and purrs > later, I slept on the couch > 2nd day > the girl wakes me up using her nails > "normal" day overall > me and her sat on the porch, waiting for her parents to come back >I sit on the rocking chair > she sits on the ground, like a cat > a little bird lands near her > cats usually eat birds >I was positive that she wouldn't do that > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy either >I scare the bird away, and the mf leaves > she seems thankful. I pat her head, she kind of grew on me > Her parents seemed immensely thankful for what I did > I kind of liked this whole experience > and earned 90 bucks

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Anon doesn't like fire alarms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: akOL1waq 03/23/22(Wed)01:53:30 No.368686930 Fire alarms are an invasion of people's free will, I F------ HATE FIRE ALARMS. It should be an individual's choice whether or not to have to listen to that stupid loud beeping. Big fire alarm wants you to believe it's for your safety but in reality they have the government in their pocket. They have made it mandatory for fire alarms to be installed in buildings, free country my ass. People should be allowed to have their own personal fire alarms, of course. But they should only be set off when someone wants to hear it, not when the government approves of it. Whenever I enter a building I always take the batteries out of the fire alarms and resell them to 28 KB JPG overseas companies to put in kids toys.

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Greentext Stories - Unlucky Anon | /r/Greentext

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>get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >'ll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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