Anon took the birdpill | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)07:09:31 No.874944460 >be me >sad >go to pet store because I like to play with the birds and secretly feed a sick one treats >get there >see sick bird, too sick to give 67 KB PNG treats >tear up, ask how much for the Sick cockatiel and his friend budgie >pay about 500 bucks >when I bring them to the vet I found out that their cages are too small and the cockatiel is actually bound to lay an egg >later, make nest for bird, she lays egg a week after >happy >one day scrolling Facebook, see 2 ads, one for a Sun Conure and another Green Budgie >they got lost >l offer to rescue >2 weeks later, get the birds and 3 massive cages >they love me >happy Why haven't you taken the birdpill /b/ros?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon prefers to be single | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/22(Wed)06:43:19 No.67896524 having a gf sounds like hell >must hang out on a consistent basis >must text on a consistent basis >must deal with her friends at some point >that or her mental illness or both 202 KB JPG >have to stick penis in stinky wet hole >must comfort her with her problems >must share stuff about myself to her >she can just cheat out of the blue one day thats not even the half of it but you get the point ill just stick to having some friends and a pet maybe

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----

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Anon has a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >I take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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Anon gets his tendies and loves his mummy | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets his license | /r/Greentext

>be 17 >get license >grandma dies >leaves me fancy car in her will >everyone is suddenly my best friend now that I can drive 59 KB PNG >everyone try's to use me for free rides >this goes on for months >meet qt3.14 at pool party >solid 8/10 >we make out >genuinely hit it off >get her number >she calls me next day >"hey I'm at a party but l'm not having fun. Come pick me up and let's hangout alone" >remember friends using me for rides >think she's doing the same >tell her to f--- off >she cries >never talk to her again >7 years later and I still cringe thinking about it

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Anon doesn't have hot water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)20:38:20 No.53412370 >hot water has been out of order for several days >means female neighbours have likely taken ice cold showers >erect female n------ have been less than 10 yards away from me 333 KB PNG Well, it's been a nice run virgins 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)20:41:11 No.53412404 >>53412370 (OP) # >OP didn't prove he had any form of contact, even by association with things like the walls or the air 84 KB JPG OP is still f----- >>53412419 #

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Anon meets there bullies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/24/21 (Tue)01:42:53 No.65105132 >first day of class >get to class early so im one of the first people to sit down >sit towards the back >four stacys walk in a few minutes after I sit down >in the sea of empty seats they 22 KB JPG choose 4 seats all situated near me >all of them introduce themselves to me They're going to bully me arent they

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Anon and normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (UdC8Plah ) 03/17/22(Thu)01:59:29 No.367641330 plebbitor.png 17 KB PNG >Average Redditor now gets upvotes for openly labeling Russians as subhuman orcs and calling for all Russian children and civilians to be genocided and tortured for fun It's scary how mentally unhinged normies are, far scarier and inhumane than anyone on /pol/ while they are supposed to be tolerant ones. One flip of a switch from government is enough to turn them into killing/lynching machines and worst of all they would still feel absolute moral superiority

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Anon has delusional memories of his childhood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares 430 KB PNG > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon buys some daggers | /r/Greentext

>be me >working hard as s--- for years to become the best one at smithing >random guy shows up >buys all my iron ore >craft tons of s----- daggers >sell all to me >i didnt want to buy all those s---, but i did anyways, lol >i need to restock >he backs up and stand there for f------ 2 days without eating >im restocked >he buys all my ore again >in 3 weeks he got better at smithing than me

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Everyone starts somewhere | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:00:32 No.62246659 >go to gym >try to lift embarassingly low weights >fail >want to kill self 40 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:03:28 No.62246694 >>62246659 (OP) # The weights are just a clock - a clock that measures how much time you've spent in the gym. Put in more time and the weights will accumulate. You've spent zero time thus far and the weights are just telling you that. >>62246734 # >>62246763 # >>62250110 # >>62250347 # : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:04:16 No.62246708 Nobody in the gym cares about you. Stop thinking so much of yourself. : Anonymous 06/24/21(Thu)14:05:08 No.62246717 >>62246659 (OP) # It's okay, anon. We all have to start somewhere. Most people are too focused on what they're doing to judge you anyway

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anon juega juegos | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/19(Fri)22:21:18 No.466515790 >mexican joins the server >turns on his mic >hear his mother yelling >baby crying >vacuum cleaner WWWWRRRRRRIIINNNG 43 KB JPG >"CAAAAASSSSO000 CEEEERRRRRAAAAADOOO0000" >police sirens >dog barking

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