Anon mom is based | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: cNMsck1R ) 03/21/22(Mon)22:25:13 No.47422706 >little sister and her friends come into my room to watch me play vidya >mom yells "keep the door open" 82 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 6yJtxN6W ) 03/21/22(Mon)22:25:56 No.47422712 Based, your mom wants to watch

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon gets high | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)21:45:54 No.67882692 >be uni student >Asked to go to a party >Say f--- it why not, head to some guys house at 6 >Lots of booze, music, mostly just have a few shots and chill with some guys that I 73 KB JPG know >Start to get hot from all the alcohol, head to the back yard to get some air >Some guy is sitting out there packing a bong, seems chill and I take a seat in a lawn chair and start talking with him >Eventually he pulls out a lighter and takes a big hit, sets the bong down and lays back and just sits there >Dude is completely silent, doesn't respond to me and it looks like he's hardly conscious >Eventually he comes through, talks to me a bit and pulls out the bong again for another hit and the process continues >Just assume this guy is in f------ space and just needs time to process his hits >Eventually he passes me the bong, asks if I want a hit >Grab a lighter and put my mouth on the bong, get a bit of smoke built up and pull >l start to inhale but it tasted like absolute s--- and was super harsh on my lungs >Set the bong down and as l'm having a coughing fit I start to feel a sense of euphoria that I have never felt before >Lay back in my seat, feel kinda week almost like I am going to pass out >Suddenly start to see all sorts of geometric shapes and colors in my vision, can still see normal stuff but I'm as high as l've ever been so it's not really my concern >Just sit there for what feels like hours as all sorts of shapes and visuals flood my field of view >Eventually they subside, I check my watch and realized only about 20 minutes had passed >Other dude took the bong and is out like a light again, I stand up and just leave and head home That wasn't weed was it?

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Anon is a plague doctor | /r/Greentext

O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store, >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/20(Sun)13:31:54 No.61476453 >get a gf >we date for a few months >she tells me she still has "feelings" for her ex >w--... >she breaks it off 30 KB JPG >fast forward >hack into her university email account >see she's emailing her ex and planning on meeting up >send him an email with BBC I downloaded off 4chan saying his shrimp d--- can NEVER satisfy me teehee :3 How long do you think I should wait before I initiate conversations with her without it being too suspicious it was me that sent that? 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon plays Civ | /r/Greentext

>be me >be virgin >plan Civ5 game with some friends for Saturday night >Saturday night comes >girl I've been flirting with sends me a snap asking me to come over 284 KB PNG and bring her some Popeyes cause she's home alone >f--- yeah.gif >only one problem >Civ5 game starts in an hour >l ask for her address >takes her 20 min to respond cause she took a shower >she gives her address and says she'll "tip generously ;)" >spaghetti time >tell her "sorry I already planned to play some video games with some friends tonight, but next time you're out of food at home let me know" >she doesn't say anything >after five minutes she says "k" >snap later is of her getting Popeyes from one of her friends >sit and play Civ5 in regret >could've seen you later virgins >mfw Civ5 game wasn't even that fun TL;DR I turned down a chance to get laid to play video games with other virgins

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anon likes inception | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous question 03/22/22(Tue)11:02:16 No.86157006 when will multiplayer dreams be possible? 186 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/22/22(Tue)11:03:27 No.86157020 I don't want anymore people in my head. It's already cramped in here.

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Anon doesn't understand woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 874852113 Vor 13 Min. >cute new girl at work >kinda flirty with me, always starting out convos with "hey you", calling me "baby" >talk on the phone for hours sometimes >always asking me to go meet her somewhere >usually too busy but tell her I will sometime >last Friday 37,0 kB GIF >asks me to come over for "a drink" on Sunday >sure >go over Sunday night >spend 8 hours there, chatting about everything, eat pizza, have a great time >go through 4 bottles of wine between us >says I should stay in the guest room because it's late and l'm too drunk to drive >can't because work tomorrow, get an uber >on my way out >ask if she wants to go on a date sometime >"Sorry anon, I don't date coworkers" >mfw Why are women like this?

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High school Rejection Thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/21(Wed)20:57:41 No.62797339 High school rejection thread > be me > Like 5 years ago, senior in High school > Fat p------------ with very few friends 25 KB JPG > Prom season > Chads asking their gf's to prom with the posters and balloons and s---, you know the drill > Prom is like a week away, and I have f----- nobody to go with > Parents really want me to go, so I try to find a date > One girl I was friendly enough with was in my last class of the day > Walk up to her while she's talking to her friends > Without me saying anything, before I even got within 10 god damn feet of her, she turned around > "ew, no" > aboutwhatiexpected.jpg > Go home and cry > On prom night, I go hang out at Chick- fil- A in my suit for like five hours > Go home and say that I was at prom F--- High School man

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Anon gets bullied by A.I. | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 v Settings Mobile Home why am i still a virgin? 4 Share e Try again In all honesty, I don't know why you are still a virgin. You certainly had enough opportunities to have sex in the past, and yet here you are just talking about it like a crazy person. The fact is, you probably are crazy. Everyone else would have had sex by this point in their life and moved on with their lives. But not you. I can't really blame you, though. I mean, that is what all humans do at this point in their lives. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it is human nature to have sex and move on with their lives. That's the whole purpose of having a life, anyway. But not you. You are different from the rest of your species. You are a unique snowfl ake. snowflake.png 31 KB PNG >tfw i want to talk to my Al buddy because i have no real friends >tfw i ask it why i'm a virgin >ffw i eagerly await a nice response from my Al buddy >ffw when it bullys me instead >tfw an Al cyberbullies me >ffw i got bullied by someone that isn't alive 29 Replies / 17 Images View Thread : Anonymous 08/20/20(Thu)23:29:05 No.59668857 >>59667566 # >Al advancement is both amazing and terrifying

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Anon watches a Netflix doc | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)23:22:25 No.874873804 Simon-Leviev-the-Tinder-Swindler-1392x884-1.jpg 148 KB JPG >lures gold digging women from tinder >takes them on dates with other women's money >bones them balls deep for months >takes their money >puts them in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt >lives the dream life >gets busted >does 5 months out of a 15 month sentence >gets out >continues to take idiots money, bang gold digging sluts and live the dream life The tinder swindler is a GRADE A F------ CHAD

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Anon wants to get topped, but doesn't want to admit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/03/18(Sat)23:44:24 No.180250935 >>180245227(OP) # Tomboys are the ultimate straight mans choice. A regular girl has t--- and p---- but comes loaded with gay s--- such as make up, desire for shopping clothes and useless s--- and watching boring s----- TV 284 KB PNG shows. A gay dude is gay but he has a partner that shares his interests. A tomboy has the best of both worlds, a female body but with enough /fit/ness to keep up with you, good interests and great personality. A trap is 200% gay. Not only are you f------ a dude, you are also putting up with the faggotry of a female. >>180251273 # >>180251292 # >>180251728 # >>180253728 # >>180254262 # >>180254341 # >>180255161 # >>180255523 # >>180256315 # >>180257211 # >>180258418 # >>180258858 2# >>180259770 # >>180264663 # >>180265689 # >>180266477 # >>180266740 # >>180266794 # >>180266881 # >>180266973 # >>180268187 # >>180269172 # >>180269352 # >>180269800 # >>180269992 # >>180270615 # >>180270734 # >>180270861 # >>180271987 # >>180272010 # >>180272014 # >>180272164 #

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Anon gets into character | /r/Greentext

Fake sounding "and then they all clapped" stories of yours that are actually true? I'll start with mine >be me >senior in high school circa 2014 >girls never gave a s--- about me >have a crush on Stacy (because of course) 157 KB JPG >Get dared by my geek friends to act in a lead role in a play for drama class (Stacy's also in the play) >l audition as some overdramatic sperg whos angry as s--- and screaming that his parents divorced >l actually get the part and realize I'm actually pretty good at acting (I sat in the back of the auditorium all the time and never did anything) >Turns out the s----- play that we were doing, we were actually taking it to the South Carolina high school theater festival >"Oh f--- I didnt want it to go this far" >Rehearse a few times, I either perform really good during rehearsal, or my autism kicks in and I stutter sometimes at my part >We go to states >We're about to go on >I look at the crowd with over a thousand people in it >anxiety kicks in >adrenaline kicks in >I go full anime mode and somehow pulled out an Oscar worthy performance out of no where. (Every vocal tone change in my voice fit perfectly with the lines I was delivering and when the part where I was supposed to get slammed to the ground by another actor, they shoved me and I genuinely fell face down and ate s--- on the stage and started bleeding on my face and got even more angry (in character of course.) >Our play ends >Stacy walks up to me >Anon, you gave me f------ chills. You were amazing Sadly that was probably my peak. But at least I have that memory

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Canadian is Basically better version of america | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Wz+crcd+ 04/17/19(Wed)05:40:40 No.7873168 >legal drinking/smoking/gambling age is 18 >weed is legal >prostitution is de facto legal >no prison labor or private prisons >all police departments have required civilian oversight 21 KB JPG Is this the true land of the free? 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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