Tinder date | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 11/06/17(Mon)06:20:58 No.750195751 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy off tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to mcdonalds >wants to meet at 1:30pm sharp 334 KB PNG >i show up at 1:30 and he says hi >he's in his mcdonalds uniform eating a big mac meal >"i get a free medium meal on my break, so how are you?" >i order a big mac meal and we chat >at 1:50, he says he wants to show me something cool out back >we go out back and he starts kissing me >we have sex >"s--- anon, i needed that. i'm going on a date-date tonight with this hot black girl and i dont wanna nut in her too soon" >at 1:58, he clocks back in and i go home >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has an obsessive mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)12:22:20 No.60581964 >21 years of my mom taking me to doctors trying to figure out what's wrong with me >keeps hinting to doctors that I have autism >keeps trying to show me movies and books with autistic people in them to get me to understand that 24 KB JPG I'm autistic >sends me to a school for autists and learning disabilities >doctor diagnoses me with PTSD >mom gets diagnosed with autism Anyone else know this feel? : Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)12:24:04 No.60581979 >>60581964 >ah the ol switcheroo nice plot twist

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anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

>be me >order chinese food >qt 3.14 works there dark brown hair b------- petite build great ass >go to pick up food >she rings up my order and hands it to me 17 KB JPG >wishlcouldfuckyourbrainsout.mov >say thank you and leave >get home and start eating food >notice long ass dark brown hair in food >eat the hair anyways >basically had a girl inside me >later virgins

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)13:08:36 No.64158138 >be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass 52 KB JPG

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Every soul has it's dark | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)10:12:18 No.67873822 >be me >talking about Elden Ring the other day, mention it's a new franchise by a company that made a game series I used to play but I wasn't 100% sold on the new one yet >fast forward today >gf tells me she wants to buy a video 144 KB JPG game >weird, my gf hates video games >opens up microsoft store and shows me Elden Ring >roll my eyes >"yeah I saw this game on TikTok, it looks really cool" >yeah, you know this game is really hard right? and you don't play video games... >"it can't be that bad..." >it's going to be pretty rough, you should try to play Dark Souls first to get a feel for it and see if you like that style of game >she starts throwing a tantrum about how men are controlling and she just wants to enjoy the story >try and calmly explain that she won't be able to enjoy the story if she cannot progress through the game >she is literally freaking the f--- out >"YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY IT FIRST" >I literally do not give a s--- about this game but if you're going to play it I might as well go ahead and buy it, yeah >"NO, YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY IT FIRST" do women not understand the concept of "difficulty" and wasting money or am I missing something what did I do wrong here f------

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Anon becomes parts of Netflix documentary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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The legendary comebacks of fatticus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/22(Thu)08:12:05 No.65941068 uhoh.png 546 KB PNG >watch Spartacus with my gf >now she keeps grabbing my belly and saying things like >"You won't be a god of the arena with these rolls!" >"I don't think Gannicus ate chocolate for dinner" >"If you were in Spartacus you'd be called Fattiatus' >keeps sending me links to 'gladiator diet' and 'gladiator workout' etc >tried sexy talking to her like in Spartacus to turn her on >took off her bra and said "Pleasant Milk for Noble Asher" >she got creeped out and said 'it doesn't work when you do it'

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Anon wants to be a woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/20/22(Sun)22:44:39 No.67863690 >want to be a woman >don't want to be trans >decide to try taking female hormones so that I can see if it makes me feel better or worse just as a test >no plan to ever stop presenting as a guy 190 KB JPG >was supposed to only take them for a week >today marks two years I think I f----- up bros. I've got boobs now.

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i didn’t see this on here so | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn't like lolis | /r/Greentext

File: 77fda5d37d960c7cb2ae3f604(...).jpg (47 KB, 620x675) O Anonymous 03/21/22(Mon)14:11:23 No.874827708 [Reply] >Sees loli thread >"OMG DISGUSTING WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THESE PICS I MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!" >Spams over 20 of my 40000 terabyte folder of old man scat p--- on the thread >"That'll show them!"

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Anon is a chad because he did the right thing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl I've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know >host a party but he was busy and didn't come 17 KB JPG >she was too drunk after party to drive and asked to stay over >found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him >refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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Anon gets political | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mqlYaJgP 05/14/20(Thu)00:07:29 No.257389974 I literally just hate America. I don't have any other politics. 78 KB JPG

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Anon dad is a retard | /r/Greentext

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