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: Anonymous 07/02/20(Thu)05:18:00 No.58910319 >be me, 380 pound bouncing baby boy >stumble out of bed at 3 in the afternoon >look in mirror at naked morbidly obese body, no clean underwear = no clothes for me today = no leaving my room today >waddle across a maze of piss bottles and s--- 27 KB JPG jugs to get to my computer >play vidya nonstop as the sun dips over the horizon, pausing only to munch on leftover chicken tendies in my mini fridge >scream at camping f------ at the top of my lungs. It's been years since mom gave up on asking me to stop yelling profanity at my computer >also been years since she's given up on telling me to get a job, go back to college, go on a diet, etc >it's midnight >hear knock on my door, mom mumbles something >can smell the alcohol in her breath from all the way over here >as her footsteps stumble away, I search floor for a pair of undies with the least amount of s--- stains and c-- crust >open the door, see a cake lying on the floor >"HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY ANON" >take cake inside, start munching on it >hear a muffled gunshot from mom's room >mfw this cake is delicious af

Birthday boy loves cake | /r/Greentext


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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened
☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?
Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.
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Uploaded Mar 11, 2022 at 08:47AM EST

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Greentext Stories

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