Anon is a camping expert | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon on hot tub streamers. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: QE/RSOAO ) EI3 03/03/22(Thu)15:59:13 No.364946655 >go on website where the average age is a 12 year old boy >website is specifically for video games for 12 year old boys >take your clothes off and perform sex acts on camera on 69 KB JPG this website >get paid $2,000,000 a month for 5 years doing this

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Anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)21:03:40 No.765096120 Well... >Be me >Amateur rapper >Spend hours daily writing verses >Finally get a show >Fuckyesnotgonnabeawagecuck.midi >Night of the show 79KB JPG >Get really f------ tense when I see the crowd must be like 200 people there >forget all my f------ lines >Mfw >Awkwardly start to mumble what I think my lines are into the microphone >THEY F------ START SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT >mfw the last few years of my life have been a waste of time when I could have mumbled f------ anything and been rly successful

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Anon had a retarded coworker. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)11:54:33 No.873736369 >Be me, weekend production floor manager of a large factory. B >Corporate wants to get some federal funds so it hires a literal 40 year old retard to fold boxes for 12 hours a day. 44 KB JPG > Retard is too dumb to do that correctly. >Consult with Corporate we can't fire him without documentation and giving him a "fighting chance" >Consult with my sister in law who works with retards. Develop a lesson plan to train him >Don't work still retarded, pees pants on factory floor..twice. Start documenting and trying harder. Work with him folding boxes to teach him. It is incredibly frustrating. We waste tons of product. Still can't do it at rate. >Takes a month for the higher ups to finally say okay...he is to retarded. >Prepare termination paperwork for tomorrow then I get a call. >Retards parents. They tell me retard died of a heart attack at 40 years old. They want me to go his funeral since I was his first "adult friend" in 20 years. I was about to fire him tomorrow...now I get a day off to go see him 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)11:56:18 No.873736463 Damn OP he probably talked highly of you at home

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Anon wants to be a caveman | /r/Greentext

>tfw you'll never get to be a stone age caveman I wish I could live as a primitive, cave- dwelling, animalistic man like you wouldn't f------ believe. Imagine how much better they had it: >Wake up at 9:30 in the morning, don' 106 KB JPG know, just know that bright orb in the sky is up and shining through the vegetation and into your cave where your tribe lives >take a s--- in the middle of the forest and wash yourself in the river >take a spear and go with two other men and trek for 20 miles into the wilderness >get into a tree and plunge a deer with your spear >haul dead dear back to your cave for another 20 miles >eat every part of the deer >other tribe member f---- with you >smash in the head of other tribe member >let out a barbaric roar >go to sleep >repeat until you die at around 31, who gives a f--- you don't even know nor care about death and it's probably more enjoyable than doing the grueling s--- everyday

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Anon loses the game | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:13:08 No.503678250 2503678791 >503679183 22503680107 22503682016 File: 1572443678272.png (58 KB, 398x306) >>503677519 (OP) Ive dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:20:50 No. 503679183 2>503679380 File: hu 1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 2>503679584 03679626 2>503679775 >503679863 22503679936 22503680140 22503680157 >503680298 22503680323 2503680792 >2503680935 22503681150 22503681212 22503681226 22503681394 >>503681519 2>503681802 >>503681816 2>503681935 >503681954 2503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 | File: sko jpg (6 KB, 250x250) 2>503679380 Jesus f--- man

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Anon's brain does a factory reset | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)22:40:34 No.865002583 >Been jacking off to increasingly weird s--- as of late >piss drinking >prostate orgasms >arm pit licking >femdom c-- eating 73 KB JPG >randomly get the urge to watch two cute girls in bikinis kissing >blow the biggest load of the last six months Did my brain just do a factory reset? 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon finds out about kids humor in 2080 | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like I've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >l snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Anon uses r/unpopularopinion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)11:02:29 No.67639507 >go to r/unpopularopinion on reddit >post opinion >get told i'm an a------ by dozens of people and i should be a better person i'm literally using the subreddit correctly, why are people such 215 KB JPG morons there? Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)11:10:26 No.67639579 >>67639507_(OP). Everyone knows r/unpopularopinions is not for actual unpopular opinions

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Anon explains Family Feud | /r/Greentext

family feud time bois Anonymous 07/30/19(Tue)20:52:26 No.118860471 >>118860921 >Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" >Contestant: "The penis" >SH: "A WUH... HUH??" >audience erupts into laughter >Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself >laughter gets even louder >SH: "O lordy..." >one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard >SH: "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP" >the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls >the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself >SH: (putting on a weary voice) "Survey says..." >the board shows 100 for "penis" >Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

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Anon experiences Dutch culture | /r/Greentext

Anonymous N 02/23/22(Wed)17:57:05 No.160241908 >>160246545 >>160246850 >>160241207 >be a student >your retard roommate bakes a cake >"hey anon, want to try a slice of cheesecake I made?" :3 >accept the social opportunity for eating cheesecake >2 hours later >phone notification go brr >"Lena added a new cost for you: 1.74€ cheesecake"

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Anon changes his mind | /r/Greentext

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Anon bonds with his father. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)09:09:52 No.67635967 [Reply] >>67637509 >be me >dad asks what game i am constantly getting angry at >tell him it's war thunder >he played video games a lot, he doesn't have much time now because of work >says he's interested >teach him the ropes and such >he's actually pretty decent Ffw a few weeks later to now >1 am >dad is upstairs playing war thunder >desk slamming and "f------ b-------" >mfw now he's getting angry at the game

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