Anon gets a good nights sleep | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG

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Anon changes a baby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)01:15:45 No.62399655 >be in library >have a baby with me >baby goes uh oh stinky poop >foot change the diaper >there's some russian lady, ask her directions for the 63 KB JPG toilets where I can change >responds in broken English, she's also going there >go first >start unwrapping the package >accidentally pull too hard, both legs are now in my hand >baby screams >start sweating, we can fix this >a few moments later the whole baby is disassembled on the changing table and I'm trying to figure out how the brains are supposed to go together like some three dimensional puzzle >f--- this, throw all the baby pieces to the garbage can >walk out, tell the russian lady it's all yours >walk away, hear a woman screaming behind me >wake up Why are all my dreams like this?

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Dont put your dick in that | /r/Greentext

< /fit/ salmonella in penis? Anonymous No. 51230182 (8 h) Hi guys, I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts. I had spilled some soda on my pants, so I was cooking without pants on. I was moving some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor. But it hit my penis before it hit the floor. This morning my penis seems like it is inflamed and the peehole hurts if I touch it. Is it possible I got salmonella poisoning? JPG 94.60 KB Anonymous No. 51230183 (8 h) You f----- those chicken breasts didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230188 (8 h) You f----- the raw chicken, didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230192 (8 h) you did

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat)04:24:59 No.46945190 >Be me >Virgin, 24 years old >Social outcast, no friends >See this thing on the internet >"virgin meetup" >Had nothing better to do with my life so went to the address >Bunch of guys my age, all virgins >Hang around, talk about stuff >They're all pretty cool, stay there late >Look at my watch, I should probably go home >Walk towards the door to leave >They ask if l'm gonna come back another day >Yeah sure >wave goodbye See you later, virgins

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Anon is a Worthless Degenerate Coomer | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)00:51:24 No.869462310 >>869464316 >be me >be worthless degenerate coomer >come home from waljob >boot up edge.exe >start with some pornpics cuties >mommy femdom toliet sissy.mov >feels the hunger grumbles but not for c-- >order mcpizza >fappng to some nice teeny feet.jpg >get notification from door camera pizz is here >its a super cute foot model >seen her before in p--- im sure >would you like a 20$ tip m'lady merely spit ito my pizza and i shall reward you generously >she drops my pizza and runs >call mcpizza this bitch is getting fired >where sorry sir well handle this right away >mcpizza calls right back >sir you are banned from mcpizza do not order or call here again the police have been contacted >mcdooralarm >its the cops >what do

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First major injury at the age of 26 | /r/Greentext

>Be me >26 yr old dumbass who joined the Army >Wake up one morning around 12 pm with pain in my lower stomach >Vomits.mp4 >Continues on day like nothing is wrong >4 pm and pain is progressively getting 60 KB JPG worse >Decides to unload one out to some pron >Nothing changes so I take a nap to sleep it off >Actually lessened the pain >fuckyea.jpeg >Orders food around 7 pm, pain intensifies by 100 to the point I can't sit still >Goes to emergency room by 10 pm >Covid has the lobby full but they push me immediately through >WhatTheActualFuck >Doctor comes in to check my testicles as he says they are twisted, right testicle torsion >Untwists but pain is still there >Says I needs to go under the knife >EXCUSEME.PNG >Gives me a shot of fentanyl >Does the exact opposite of what it's intended and im shaking uncontrollably in pain. >On a pain of scale of 1-10, it was 25. >Gets put to sleep, wakes up an hour and a half later in a Gauze like diaper. >Gets told my tesicle was removed and was dead for over 6 hours >Was also told I experience the pain level of childbirth as an adult male. There was no explanation as to how or why it happens but it just happens from as young as 5 to as old as 60 >mfw

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Anon’s homemade brew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:29:38 No.848574479 >be me >go take a s--- >take a s--- and piss >get horny >masturbate >c-- in toilet 23 KB JPG >realize only few liquids left >spit in the toilet >remember feminists exists >shed a tear into the toilet >perfect cocktail >pic related 5 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:36:23 No.848574782 >>848574702 # There was already blood leaking from my a------ from the massive s--- i took. >>848574886 # : Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)10:37:14 No.848574823 >>848574479 (OP) # > blood > gall > vomit > spinal fluid > lymph

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Anon “doesn’t understand cars” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18(Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" 128 KB JPG >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Anon does not prefer Reddit | /r/Greentext

If there is Hell on the Internet, it's r*ddit If there is Hell on the Intern(...) 12/28/21(Tue)04:48:38 No.353952878 >Haven't been on plebbit for ages >Want to ask a quick question >Super T----- Janny bans me seconds later for breaking one of their 6 gorillion www. rules. 29 KB JPG It's like North Korea there, but run by gay trannies with ADHD. I hate these cucks so much you can't imagine. Why do humans like that exist? 172 Replies / 56 Images View Thread

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