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>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon spends $10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)08:02:15 No.44422418 >paid a h----- an extra $10 to shout "yamete onii- chan!!-" when i f----- her Best use of that $10 ever 88 KB JPG

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Happy wife, happy life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:23:04 No.66439080 >wife about to leave for holiday trip to Jamaica >almost finished downloading all my games l'll play when she's away >working from home due to the coof aka gaming all day 79 KB JPG Kino. I love her but sometimes a man needs some manly time alone. You guys should be thankful you dont have to deal with a womans s--- 24/7. : Anonymous 12/05/21(Sun)13:24:19 No.66439093 >>66439080 (OP) # >holiday trip to jamaica hahahahAHAНАНАНАНАНАНАН 22 KB JPG

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Anon makes a thread | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:07:35 No.144892714 >Encounters gods all the time >ls atheist 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)14:09:11 No.144892749 >OP posts >is f-----

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Anon gets a taste of his own medicine! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I found some irony 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the swIPE TO NEXT> normiest site 136 KB JPG

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Anon hates apple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boy do I have story for you de(...) 01/12/19(Sat)02:15:35 No.69325789 Apple is the worst f------ company ever, maybe back when Steve Jobs was alive it was a little better and slightly respectable, but h--------, he must be rolling in his grave right 89 KB PNG now. >Be me >Few weeks ago >Go to Apple store to get battery replaced >Spend an hour and thirty minutes walking around, come back >They tell me the phone is missing some parts, so the battery is unreplaceable >Next day >Go to s----- PcFix, feces everywhere, legit the most dingiest f------ place alive >ask to get battery replaced > He goes in the back for fifteen to thirty minutes >Comes back, battery health is replaced and 100% capacity. >Ask if any parts were missing, they weren't. >Pay the 60$ and walk out Planned obsolescence is real boyos

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Anon hates Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:24:41 No.159020639 >no personality >no charisma >no good looks >no skills >doesn't improve >doesn't grow as a person >revolves around being the "chosen one" 250 KB JPG >is constatly jobbed and bossed around and he happily obliges harry is the lamest protag ever conceived : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)17:26:32 No.159020681 >becomes a cop Sounds about right

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Anon is harassed in public | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/21(Thu)05:06:17 No.65843364 >be me >walking around with loose change >pockets full of coin >hapilly stroling wen >egads >trip on the sidewalk >flop face first to it Todo lo que no se reproduce no es de Dios 82 KB JPG >all my loose change comes out of my pockets >guy comes in >"you okay there sonic?" >fml

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Most Beautiful Greentext Ever Conceived. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what Il be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching tv. >feels bad man >dont think much other of it though -go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageoverfeel.png >10/10 girl asks ifi would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon digs a fish pond | /r/Greentext

>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Anon loves his cousin | /r/Greentext

1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to brit pub | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon meets the parents | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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