Anon likes a clown girl | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)08:39:13 No.21413121 ► >get with clown girl >things get hot and heavy as soon as we're at my place >before I knew it we're doing the horizontal shuffle >she starts moaning >then she starts to honk with every thrust as we climax >now I'm holding back laughter, but also plowing away >"honking stops >she rears back >*fog horn I was deaf for a few days after.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon found him. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:07:39 No.140245384 Favorite movie lines 161AA42A-EDA1-4FOD-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG >Patrick, it's you!! You're the American Psycho?!" : Anonymous 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.140245402 >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that.

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Anon shares his sigma routine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)13:19:42 No.66334804 >wake up at 4am >shitpost wildly >close all threads, never reply >go to the gym just another day being Chad 528 KB PNG

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Anon sticks up for manlets | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous Womanlet Revenge 10/17/17(Tue)20:20:28 No.40480576 >See constant threads about girls s------- on manlets on /r9k/ >Be 6ft 2in white guy >Be borderline sociopathic, barely have any empathy >Use Tinder and match with only 53 KB PNG really short girls >Exclusively seek out shorter girls (5ft 4in or below) >Talk to them and casually bring about short guys >if any of them talk s--- about manlets or say they're gross, I start pursuing them harder >Ask them out with the promise of sex >Take a small bottle of mustard water and hide it in my jacket >Go to the roastie w----- place >Make out or whatever and then right before we're about to f--- ask to be excused and go to the bathroom >down the mustard water >go back to see her >hold back the vomit >When their clothes come off I immediately start vomiting all over and spray it as much as I can >roastie is horrified >I tell them I find their shortness disgusting and I feel l'd be f------ a child >I leave telling them they shouldnt date tall guys and to stick to manlets I've successfully done this 10 times in the last 6 months. They always end up crying or freaking out and I j------- to that thought when I get home. I'm doing this for you my manlet brothers, its not your fault you didn't have the genetic lottery. F--- those roastie w-----. 73 Replies / 21 Images View Thread

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Anon goes full retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)07:40:19 No.867337983 >be me >waiting in line at supermarket >lady behind me has her daughter in her trolley >How much does she cost haha >She looks at me and says 5 KB JPG "what?" >haha I was just wondering if she was for sale >the girl in the trolley looks frightened >the lady just looks at me uncomfortably >continue waiting in line in horrible silence Should I just f------ rope jesus christ I just wanted to be friendly. I can never go back to that store ever again

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Anon debunks the Moon Landing | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)00:54:35 No.159785329 ► >>159786033 >>159786774 >>159787513 >>159791108 >>159793782 File: R.8acf5b0757630334ce7aca8(...).jpg (29 KB, 592x560) >everyone is going on about the moon landing and freaking out even today about it, some think its fake some say its real >watch the video and other footage >the moon never lands I don't know what all the fuss is about

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Thanksgiving 11/28/21(Sun)00:45:02 No.66326949 >take a s--- after thanksgiving >need to piss as well >piss while s------- >c--- happens to be angled too high >end up pissing out the toilet and 899 KB GIF onto the floor >leave it there without telling anyone How did your Thanksgiving go?

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Anon's cousin came to visit | /r/Greentext

1 Anonymous #665681321 2 28/01 00:28:36 JPG 458x305 14 KB >Be me >2009 (12 years old) >Cousins coming over >Hated the autistic 10 year old from the minute he could speak English >Kinda looks like pic related >Really wants to see the movie Up >Just so happens we have it on DVD, or I do at least >Notices it when he arrives >Asks if he can have it >Tell him no right off the bat >Of col >He won't stop bothering people about it >Eventually quiets down until dinnertime >F------ spaghetti again >He's sat opposite me and starts going on about it again >l get sick of his s--- and yell NO at him >He literally grabs his bowl of spaghetti and runs up my little brothers treehouse with it >l'm asked to go check if he's OK >Arrive and he starts going off at me again >Little did he know the ladder wasn't attached so I could just remove it >So I did >Go back and tell everyone that he's fine, he just wants to be alone >10 minutes later and f--- yeah it's ice cream time >Asked to ask him if he wants any >Head back, the retard threw his fork on the other side of the tree in anger >Asks me to run around and get it him >Obviously tell him no, and that he's retarded for throwing it in the first place >Tell him how delicious the ice cream was and that he wasn't getting any >He breaks into tears, gets on his knees, begs for it and mutters out "Please let me d- down I-l j-just wanna t-tell you how I'm feeling, I've got to make y-you u-understand" >HRW I respond "I'm never gonna give you "Up", never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and dessert you" se, being the autist he is, he doesn't stop there Haven't seen em since.

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I can hear him laughing at me | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 12/24/18(Mon)00:05:30 No.788087819 >The r--- dwarf is still in my walls ENOUGH >I hear bumps in the night >Fire off some .357 rounds into the wall >Complete silence until I hear it laugh 30 KB JPG >"Hoho!" >Get angry >Fire off more rounds >Hear a screech then a wimper >Hear it run off, dragging it's penis as it goes >Blood drips out from beneath the molding >l got him for now, but he'll be back View Thread

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Anon buys a gift | /r/Greentext

File: 1633536385320.png (860 KB, 1076x997) O Anonymous 11/28/21(Sun)10:53:13 No.66333126 >>66333137 >get into contact with 8/10 cute >normie bio, mentions shes into star wars twice >we go on a couple dates >5th date, time for a special gift >meet up give her my gift wrapped in that paper >opens box >custom made star wars lightsaber dildo >green light(told me yoda is her favourite), extendable AND vibrating >paid 240 dollars for this >she starts shaking and tearing up, runs away >ghosted me IS THIS A F------ JOKE FOR F---- SAKE I TRY SO HARD WHY ALWAYS ME O Moot has forsaken us 11/28/21(Sun)10:54:27 No.66333137 >>66333126 (OP) Include me in the screencap, Reddit

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Long story, lads. I tried my best to fit it all in. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)20:28:41 No.50786367 >Be me >15 years old when 9/11 happened >Very angry >Youngest of 6 children >Want to take the fight to those bastards who blew up the towers 13 KB JPG >Dad is a Vietnam vet >He strongly disapproves of my desire to Join >W--.png >Tells him we need to fight those barbarians before they attack us again >Tells me to STFU because I have no idea what I was talking about >Made up my mind that I was joining the Marines once I turn 18 >Talk to recruiter during highschool >Sneaking behind my parent's back to go to the Poolee functions >18 birthday comes >It's time >Sign my name on the dotted line >>Choose to be an 0351 >Go to MEPS to get molested by 80 year old doctor >Show him my bootyhole >Officially going to bootcamp >Parents and siblings finds out >Have a screaming match with them, dad saying he sacrificed so much in that jungle so I wouldn't have to take up arms >Feelsbadman but my mind is already made up >Time to ship off to Boot Camp in San Diego >Haze fests for 3 months >Graduate on Jul 3rd >Parents and my 2 sisters come to my graduations. >Feelsgoodman >Can see my dad is proud, but still uncomfortable of me going to fight off in some sandbox >Fastforward >Go to Camp Pendleton for ITB >A few more months of hazing >Officially in the Gun Club >Get stationed in 29 Palms >TheFuckingSucks.png >Be called a boot and hazed by the people who've been in the unit longer than I have >Sit in the barracks playing Playstation 2 games all day when standing by in the barracks >More training and field ops b------- >Orders come to deploy to Iraq >Ohshit.png >Pre-Deployment Field Ops training >Body feels like its 60 >Fastforward to Iraq >Jeeeesus >Constantly looking over my shoulders >Hearing the news of IEDS >Constantly in fear of being BTFOed >Orders come in to take some s----- rebel town called Fallujah >Expecting heavy resistance and huge urban warfare >Iveseensomeshit.png >Sees another unit coming into the greenzone >Ask them what it's like out there Anonymous 02/03/19(Sun)20:30:44 No.50786399 >They look at me like l'm some sort of a------ >They tell me stories of a Marine who cruified, some female soldier who was r----, and a contractor who was beheaded >Feel the urge to s--- my pants >The Invasion comes >L's time >Our squad crosses across a abandoned courtyard near a mosque >Suddenly, Machinegun fire lights up the area >Ohfuck.png >Hit the deck, trying for tire my M16 to any muzzle flashes I can find >Heart is racing, feeling like I'm about to vamit, my body refusing to move, self-preservation taking over >I'm probably gonna die here >My Sergeant picks me up, knocking some sense into me, telling me to get my head into the game >I've managed ta link up with my squad >We all advance along the beach towards their >Mfw it's not a couple of Hajis dug into buildings and tunneis >Mfw it's 100 Hajis just f------ thundering at us with all manner of weapons >We fire and maneuver all cay, barely managing to dodge a couple of bullets that were too close for comfort. >L'terally up all night >Fire my weapon almost white hot >No idea how many Hajis I've killed >Dawn comes and it starts to let up >My eyes burn from smoke end crying >5 guys I talked to that night get killed >I realize why dad didn't want me to go >I miss him so much and I want ta apologize and go home >my squac gets relieved anc I am just about to leave my post when a Haji who was playing dead charges at me >Squad lights him up like a Christmas tree >He drops two primed grenades >Relief sentry pushes me out of the way and makes a dive for the f------ grenades >I scream but in a second I felt a wall of force hit me and it's all biack >I feel hot burning sensations all over >On a makeshift medevac cart being hauled somewhere > Can't see because eyes are glued shut with blood and dirt 507E6623 = Anonymous D2/03/19(Sun)20:32.09 No 50786418 >my hands are bound > Pry my eyes open and the light blinds me >I see white writing in frant of me >What IheShit.png »"You're finally awake" >No, it can't be > "You were trying to cross the borcer right?" >Todd Howard you sonofabitch >You did it again >Mfw

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Anon smells | /r/Greentext

>be me >college coomer >usually keep it to myself and don't talk to normies >be one day >bitch comes up to me and greets 56 KB JPG me >omfg its f------ happening >justlikethemovies.jpg >she says she's practicing her tattooing and she wants to draw on my wrist with a sharpie >popaboner.wav >say yes without hesitation >she holds my arm while drawing >can't contain my happiness >first time a bitch touches me >this must be how having a gf feels like >start looking at her and how beautiful she is and start fantasizing about showing her up to my parents and stuff >she finishes the drawing and thank her >be four days later >drawing is smudged and faint >bitch comes up to me and asks to see her drawing >show it to her >she points at it and says "This is how we know you don't shower" >w--.png >she says "Smell ya later" and leaves >cry,tiff Now I'm not showering out of spite

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