Anon wastes $400 | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>Tired of being a virgin >Hire a $400 escort >Tell me she has to inspect my junk for sores or something >C-- all over her hands >Can't get hard again >Spend the rest of the hour cuddling 58 KB JPG >Still a virgin

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hears some lore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)09:05:26 No.864794765 >be walking through grocery store picking up stoner essentials >lower down the aisle, mixed race couple >crazy tall black girl with white guy shorter by at least two heads >she literally grabs him something off 303 KB JPG the top shelf >overhear conversation >"so wait, Mr house is the computer? And caesar is the.. okay, I think I get it" >this m----------- has got a girl so sick whipped she's actually listening to him talk about new vegas lore >pic related, how I felt watching such a masterpiece unfold What is he doing that I'm not.

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Anon exploits Judaism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/18(Thu)22:53:43 No.46587564 >be me >born in a conservative jewish family >not insanly rich but quite wealthy and my dad knows a ton of influential people (also jews obviously) 105 КВ ЈPG >recently graduated from college (decent grades) >family gets me a high paying job in some jewish bank >know for a fact that im not the most qualified but not saying no to that cash >get everything handed to me because of my religion >mfw im actually an atheist >mfw ill still pretend to be jewish for them benefits >mfw parents said they will introduce me to a nice jewish girl Just accept that Judaism is he superior religion infidels 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is famous( fake: anon famous gay: anon ) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)21:53:10 No.864761123 its weird how celebrities still manage to kill themselves even though they have absolutely everything a person can want. i just dont get it. look at avicii. why the f--- would he kill himself when hes considered one of the best dj's and everyone loves him, he has so much money and respect. but he still killed himself??? why?? 161 KB JPG 20 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)22:57:30 No.864764322 >>864761123 >be depressed >become famous >expected to perform 24/7 >deal with fans and media >spend every night alone in hotelroom >can't cope >use drugs >coping again >hmm drugs seems rather disaterous >can't stop it now >depression increasing >etc. not that difficult now is it f----- op?

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Have you had this chat with your parents yet? | /r/Greentext

image.jpg 885 KB JPG > back in summer of 2014 > the day after Elliot Rodger shootings > I'm doing some shopping in Walmart when I get a call from my dad > "anon, you know what Elliot Rodger did is evil right?...right?" > I'm totally caught off guard, don't know what to say, feel my face and ears burn > manage to speak > "yes of course I know that dad" > "alright anon, just uhh making sure. You know that if you ever feel down in life, never to take it out on innocent people, right?" > at this point my mouth is agape at what my dad is saying > continue to reassure him until we finish the conversation

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Anon watches anime | /r/Greentext

>Edgy rival ruins the franchise 131 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/30/19(Mon)14:28:01 No.479941806 >Edgy rival saves the franchise 217 KB PNG

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Anon hates women with peepees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)11:42:41 No.42277646 1624709092184.png 22 KB PNG >It's called dickgirl >t-that means it's a girl >What do you mean girls don't have 7ft hyper d----!? >S-shut up bigot!

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Anon watches The Day After Tomorrow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)04:57:54 No.157474389 >Watching The Day After Tomorrow at the movie theater. >It's a hot summer day. >Someone yells "Turn up the air conditioner!" >Out of nowhere, some other guy yells "This is life in the real word, you f------ rich boy" or something. Dude was p-----. >Two guys, sitting on opposite ends of the movie theater, get into a shouting match over social classes in the middle of the movie. >"F--- you, m-----------, it's hot as f---!" >"That's how it is in the hood!" >End after at about 5 minutes of argument. >Later in the movie. >New Ice Age, s---'s all frozen. >"Cold enough for you, rich boy?" >"M-----------, l'll beat you". >Another shouting match, schedule fight for once movie is over. >Movie is over. >Both guys bail. >>157474478 # : Anonymous 10/11/21(Mon)05:00:25 No.157474478 >>157474389 # Sounds comfy.

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Don't Fuck With Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:08:02 No.62662469 >be me 5'10 >at party chatting to 3 qts and a 6'1 lanklet know his height cos we used to play sports together >qts ask lanklet how tall he is >"i'm 5'11" bastard gives me the 33 KB JPG biggest s--- eating grin >qts turn to me >jump in before they can ask me >"that's not possible i'm 5'6 so you gotta be 5'9 at at most" >qts burst out laughing, lanklet starts spurting that he's actually 6'1 >"no way why would anon lie about being 5'6" Dont f--- with me lanklets i can bring you down to my level

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Anon is perplexed, but slightly pleased | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)21:22:31 No.65710272 >at a student dorm party >see girl in the middle of a couch, knees bent to her chest, idly holding a bottle of beer, staring at the floor, blank face >"are you okay?" >30 sec pause 11 KB JPG >"yeah" >"you sure?" >30 sec pause >"yeah", smiling this time >i force a cheer with my can of rockstar and leave >the entire night she's still a downer, but whenever we glanced at eachother she smiled >last night >meet her again >still a downer, but noticeably happier when she sees me >we exchange some pleasantries in a 20min conv >asks me if i prefer energy drinks over coffee and i tell her i have no way to make coffee myself >offers to make me a cup of coffee herself >she's giddy the entire time >we stay a little longer, and then she then bails to sleep at 23:45 >haven't seen her since >her roommate always waves at me now w-- happened?

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anon revolutionizes comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:03:43 No.861472741 Has anyone used an under bed storage bin for their mattress-poop- hole setup? I feel like this could be a game changer. >poop through mattress poop hole >it falls into bin (pic related) 634 KB JPG >remove bin every week and rinse with hose Did I just discover a game changer? Are there reasons not to do this?

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Anon takes Xanax | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >l just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and 22 KB JPG pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying

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Anon is an alpha male | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place ( we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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