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: Anonymous 09/22/21(Wed)01:55:19 No.65470426 >walking to the grocery store after working out >check myself out in the reflection of a random booth thingy >say out loud "you're genuinely the most beautiful person I've ever seen" to myself 59 KB JPG >hear female voices inside >one says "omg thank you!" the other goes "umm shes **I! >realize to my horror what Ive done >begin walking manually F--- I thought it was closed

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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School Prank - Anon Has A walkie talkie - fellow Anons do you have any good pranks? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:45:46 No.863547048 Yes. >Teachers use walkie talkies at lunch time to communicate >Friend brings walkie talkie to school >Finds the channel teachers are using >They start saying random s--- >My turn >Started talking like a cop in distress >All units we've got a 10 - 4 situation on the rugby field >I repeat all units, that's a 10 - 4 situation on the rugby >F----- teachers coming running in expecting some serious s--- do be going down >Literally nothing happening >Then we start watching the teachers and making fun of them over walkie talkie >Eventually get caught >Get sent to principals office >Sitting outside waiting for him >Wait for 5 or 10 minutes >He never shows >l just walk home and skip the rest of the day >Letter gets sent home >Dad literally doesn't give a s--- because it was just some teenagers f------ around and no one got hurt

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Anon doesn’t tip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)19:15:35 No.15680993 >go to store to pick up pizza >about to sign receipt >see they circled in 10% tip >change it to 0 >cashier rolls her eyes, hands me the pizza 31 KB JPG >hear one of them say whisper wow, did he really put 0' as l'm walking out Did I do something wrong? It's not like they delivered the pizza to my house. Should I have tipped in this situation?

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Anon disappears | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7zitKDez) 09/22/21(Wed)11:18:48 No.340271583 >you take a loạn for 3k >don't pay it >lose credit score, lose your house, lose your belongings, lose your job, get garnished and arrested %24 123R haha money printer go brrrr 57 KB JPG >US GOV takes out Thirty Trillion loan (30,000,000,000,000) >don't pay it back >lol ill just raise the ceiling so i dont have to pay it lol When are THEY gonna come collect from the US?

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Anon’s mom had a hard time after the divorce | /r/Greentext

>Be me 13 year old anon, dad left for a younger version of my mom >I think it was a huge shock. Came out of nowhere. She didn't fight him on the property settlement or anything. >He did alright. Ended up in a bigger house. Mom couldn't afford our old 22 KB JPG house. She ended up in a cheap apartment complex >Used to go over to my dad's, but my stepmom had a baby. So I don't get invited as much. Mostly stay with my mom. >I tried to be there for mom. But she needed more than I could give. >Dating was tough. Mom didn't have a lot of time and money to spend on herself. She was always pretty to me, but looking back I get why it was hard for her. >She ended up with guys who would sleep with her for a while. I guess she made it easy and hoped they would stay. They just used her. >lt used to make me mad. But I was a kid. >l'd meet them at breakfast. Just like we're meeting now. So you and I are a lot alike. >Anyway, I'm the guy who came in your mom

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Anon takes their shot | /r/Greentext

File: 301019862047211.png (181 KB, 390x389) Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)10:54:08 No.863521600 >>863521669 >>863521907 >>863 >Be me >Kinda fancy a girl >Have a dream about her where I fall in love >Feels so real.jpg| >Wake up >Feel like crap >A few hours later >Have a revelation >"| should just ask her out" >NOTHING CAN STOP ME >Go back home >Message her >Still hasn't opened And here we are now. Is this fate? Am I stupid? So many emotions ahhhhhh. Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)10:55:43 No.863521669 >>863521600 (OP) You're in love anon, enjoy! Also, checkd

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No fatties in the kiddie pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)14:16:14 No.863530051 > Take toddler to local pool > playing in the kiddie pool for kids age 2-5 > hear a noise SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP > this f----- fat p------------, probably between 10 or 12 is lumbering towards the pool > I mean, this kid has to be like, 200 pounds already > with this idiotic, gleeful look on his face he just belly flops into the water >I grab my 2 year old out of the way just in time to avoid getting crushed beneath his wobbling, gelatinous bulk > "HEY YOU FAT F---, WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING, YOUR FATASS JUST ALMOST KILLED MY KID" > He bursts into big, fat, slobbery tears because I called him fat > his mom and dad come waddling up, they are both morbidly obese as well, easily 300 pounds each > they demand I apologize to their son for calling him fat > I tell them that the kiddie pool is for toddlers, not a refuge for escaped livestock and to gtfo of my face > get banned from the pool > no regrets

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Instant Buyer’s Remorse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why is life so cruel frens? 09/20/21(Mon)21:41:26 No.65461769 >be me 4/10 18 overweight >decide i will sell my soul to the devil >google how do i sell my soul to the devil? >print 5 pages on how to do the ritual >when the time comes I decide to sell it for a gf >ohshit.jpg 113 KB JPG >late for work again >get to work and immediatly take a vape break cause autism >contemplate if i should drink the mop cleaner tonight so i can finally die >phone buzzes >qt 3.14 from class >"hey anon want to get lunch next tuesday just the two of us?" >fuckyeah.zip >work goes fast after that >lay in bed and start to think again >takes a little longer cause autism >mfw i just sold my soul to the devil for a gf A f------ girlfriend how could i have been so retarded frens? she could dump me whenever probably will cause im dumb fml :(

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Anon uses the defecation chair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)14:58:04 No.855843594 Sorry for bad englang >be me >belly location having pressure >pain >on the defecation chair >large movement 45 KB JPG >pressure gone Mfw

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Anon sees a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:39:08 No.863546656 >Walk into your bedroom >You find Belle Delphine on your bed Wat do??? 74 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)19:40:16 No.863546726 >>863546656 (OP) # NO OFF THE BED GIT 60 KB JPG

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Princess and the frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)13:05:05 No.65466916 >go on a dinner date for the first time in 9 years >everything goes well, seemingly >she seems to smile a lot though doesn't hold eye contact much >bill comes, I pay >go in for a hug at the end >she pushes me away hard saying 10 KB JPG "don't kiss me" >don't know what to say, don't know what to do, just stand there speechless, I didn't even try to kiss her Holy f--- it's over

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Too Close For Comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)00:13:27 No.65462742 >be me >tall and skinny guy >not exactly handsome >a few days ago in the mall with my sisters >walking behind them cause idk they're talking >I hear a woman a few feet away saying 7 KB PNG "What is that guy doing so close to the girls? >other woman says "I hope nothing bad" >mfw I realize that I look so weird that people think I'm a stalker

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Pigs on the wing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/21(Tue)13:14:41 No.65467011 What would people think if they could hear your inner monologue? >at work as cashier, standing there and waiting for customers >inside my head though: >visualizing a fat girl on her knees, she's grabbing her big ass cheeks 267 KB PNG and spreading them. I'm looking at her hairy p----, she's farting >"gimme some gas you fat pig, yeah keep farting oink oink"

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Greentext Stories - Anon is introverted | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 09/22/21(Wed)01:55:19 No.65470426 >walking to the grocery store after working out >check myself out in the reflection of a random booth thingy >say out loud "you're genuinely the most beautiful person I've ever seen" to myself 59 KB JPG >hear female voices inside >one says "omg thank you!" the other goes "umm shes **I! >realize to my horror what Ive done >begin walking manually F--- I thought it was closed

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