Twisted sisters | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat)18:55:50 No.64878388 >divorced single mother who's older than me started chatting me up >she has two thicc daughters 18 and 20 >they keep changing into tiny shorts and sitting by me 323 KB PNG whenever I come over

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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We play the cards we are dealt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat)22:11:31 No.64880125 >gonna kill myself on my birthday >mom sends stupid hallmark birthday card >makes me chuckle maybe next year 491 KB PNG

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Anon annihilates his opponent | /r/Greentext

True story /b/ros >be me >21 yo uni dropout >skinny, long hair, looking like 18 >working in a factory >meet retarded coworker >let call him Mark 100 KB PNG >Mark is an a------ >One day I have enough and talk back to him >"Dont be cheeky with me little guy!" >l am cheeky with him regardless >Comes close to my ear and whisper >"I m gonna kick your ass after work" >Me pic related >Mark is one head taller than me, black, bigger muscles >Starts to panic. Ok anon, you ve got this >1 hour before going home I go to the canteen and eat all the food in my bag >my gf gave me extra that day >drink 1L of juice >ff 1 hour >l m on my way home, Mark nowhere to be seen. >l cross a bridge, marcuse emerges from a bush >"Here you are, you little s---!" >Me pic related >He charges towards me screaming >l take a deep breath and stick my finger down my throat. I empty my lungs while barfing, spraying Mark in the eyes and all over him. >Starts screaming "It buurns!!" >l start kicking Mark with all my might while projectile vomiting on him >He cant breathe from all that s--- hitting his face >He finally collapses >Then I run >He doesnt follow >Still me pic related He s gonna look for vengeance next week. What dirty trick should I use this time?

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Young Child Wants to Guzzle | /r/Greentext

>be me >5th grade >its about that time they start teaching us about sex >boys and girls split into separate classes to talk about each one's phases of puberty, respectively >male teacher ТОР TOP GUN >telling us about changes in our bodies blah blah >finally comes to the topic of sperm >foreign kid from the dominican republic pipes up, in full foreign accent asks >"can you eat the sperm" >mfw >teacher's face >everyone's face I wonder what that kid is up to these days

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4chan Being 4chan | /r/Greentext

A heartbreaking sign of the times: In isolation wards where patients die alone, craving the touch of their loved ones, nurses fill gloves with warm water to simulate that comfort. They call it the Hand of God. Anonymous 1 07/23/21(Fri)23:43:11 No.331211140 v >>331211470 >>331211483 ?>331196128 >be alone in the dark >barely able to move >your only comfort a warm, water filled glove on your hand >you need to pee but it's better than nothing >the minutes of your lives dusk tick by >the glove slowly cools like the hand of a dead man >dropping even below ambient temperature >the cold hand of the reaper pulling you to the afterlife

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Above his weight class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/21(Sat)15:51:50 No.64783154 >Leaving petsmart today after grabbing some food for my dog >See some 5'4" dude hand in hand with a goth looking girl who was at least 10 inches taller than him Congrats to that guy We're all gonna make it 253 KB PNG

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Anon makes friends | /r/Greentext

>be me >look at contacts >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >tfw first friend

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Anon loves grandpa for allowing the anime tiddy | /r/Greentext

>>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ 101 KB JPG that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa

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Anon Made a Mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)08:29:09 No.47745704 h-------- i f----- up bros >be me AMI >having sex with 10/10 girl >out of nowhere I say some nazi DISABLED? s--- >she overhears me 55 KB PNG >"f--- my jewish p---- with your big a---- c---" >we begin to roleplay for a while >after I'm done c------ I tell her to give me r----- >before she could get her tongue out i blast a fart in her face >while also saying "GAS THE K----!" >she said nothing >she dresses up and goes back home >mfw I haven't heard from her since 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon meets a femanon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/21(Thu)15:34:44 No.62602667 >meet girl on here >says she a virgin because she has autism >yeahright.jpg >she invites me over to her parents trailer >wall to wall hoarding piles with paths 14 KB JPG cut in >we make it to her room >filled to the brim with trash and rotting dishes >"do you want a toy anon?" >"wu...wut?" >opens drawer >full of perfectly organized toys from fast food meals >reach for a mario >"NO NOT HIM" >picks up a different identical mario and hands it to me >"this one likes you" >tell her i'm going to go put it in my car so it stays safe >yeet it across the road and take off Note to self DO NOT attempt to lose your virginity to a woman here. If they are really virgins there is something wrong with them. 14 Replies View Thread

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And update. It hurts. | /r/Greentext

>be 4 years ago >at mom's house >chillin >she gives me a list of chores to do while her and my sister get groceries >tells me no ps2 until chores are done >ehokay.jpg| >folding laundry while watching tv >switch to news >story says >"Local woman and daughter killed in car accident" >my mom and sister have died >be 4 years later >want taste of nostalgia >open up ps2 >in the disc compartment there was a note >'Wiley, Wiley, Wiley, I told you not to play your ps2 before chores are done. Well son, I love you to death and I want to cut you some slack. You can play your game station until I come back with hugs and kisses :) xoxo -Love Mom" >never came home

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Green Text motorbike go brrrrrr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/18(Fri)13:27:00 No.470946. >mfw I see a motorbike go past zzzZ00000000OM 25 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon plays Resident Evil Village | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/07/21(Sat)08:43:54 No.21158E >buy Resident Evil Village on Steam >launch game >turn off my router >get to Lady Dimitrescu >there is no game over animation where she crushes my head with her thighs >amdisappointed.jpg >still finish the game >refund it since Steam only listed 0.1 hour playtime

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