Anon Almost Makes It | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)18:38:42 No.64585241 just bake me into a f------ pie already IcOkymu1pnc31.png 351 KB PNG >she asked about my hobbies Oh no...

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon’s call-to-action | /r/Greentext

>me >boomer grandpa watching news >story about random normie dying from covid >"family in shock" >"he was young and healthy, in the prime of his life" 382 KB JPG >jump cut to >jabbathehutt.jpg >"big" is literally used in front of his first name >normie found out he got covid after going to the ER for a sunburn >normie goes home >pneumoniawheez.mp4 >normie goes to the ICU >dies >my boomer grandpa "no s--- what do you think happens when a fat f--- gets covid" Anons, even my boomer grandpa isn't full retard, go get the vaccine

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Anon listens to Joe Rogan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)13:32:23 No.860270115 > leans in closer to mic > "Hey man, I was doing some Bolivian marching powder enemas in my ice bath while researching Ron Reagan recently, and I think I figured out the reason why he was such a f------ prick as governor of Califomia and President. Jamie, pull up the pictures" > "He was just an actor before, right?" > "He was, but the turning point was in 1951 with a role in 'Bedtime for Bonzo' where he acted with a chimp. Look at his pants before 1951, and after 1951." > "I'm not seeing it Joe" > "Dude how can you not. His package is f------ gone. That chimp totally ripped off his d---."

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2018 Greentext Projecting on 2019... Glad Anon Wasn't Right... or... Was He? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: WW503DHF ) * 02/21/18(Wed)21:07:20 No.16142413C >be American high school student >2019 >multiple school shootings a day >every teacher is now armed >veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built in mini-guns >in Algebra 2 >teacher is handing out the quiz, her full body armor jostling around >reach into my backpack to take out my calculator >her M16 is already trained on me >"ANON DON'T F------ MOVE" >"I-I need my calculator" >"THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU REACHING FOR" >"I-I thought we could use calculators" >"YOU THOUGHT WRONG" >tense pause >she lowers her weapon >school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the class >her blood and brains splatters all over my face >second school shooter wheels around in the front with a shotgun, takes aim at the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines >try to run for the door >veteran mobility scooter unit flies in and tears me to shreds firing 6k rounds a minute >die happy knowing that l'm still freer than Europoors >family gets charged 10 mil for my medical expenses (plus tip)

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Anon invites girl for Netflix | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/03/21 (Wed)18:51:06 No.848750292 >be me >Invites girl over for Netflix >There was no Netflix, I lied. >She thinks I wanted to f---, lol no >l wanted to actually talk about Skyrim lore >She's actually interested (what. the. 1005 KB PNG f---. no. way.) >We talk for 3-4 hours >She later says she's pro-stormcloak (red flag but ok.) >She says Nords are her favorite race (gross, not Breton-pilled) >She says Thieves Guild is the best questline in the game (ok your pressing buttons now) >Ends with saying that she didn't wife Ysolda (ok you're a f------ c---) >Throw her out in -20 snow >drunk >No ride home >glory to the empire

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Bong uncovers the conspiracy | /r/Greentext

File: workers.jpg (49 KB, 590x350) EY A Anonymous (ID: RibzuGUk ) 08/03/21(Tue)12:51:54 No.332622187 >>332622311 >road dug up and traffic backlogged > see these guys stood around doing nothing >??? >2 years later the road is magically "fixed" Do you guys really fall for this?

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Anon living a paradox | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)16:47:25 No.64818372 >be me >fatherless, he was murdered when i was a kid, at exactly midnight in front of our home >they never discovered who did it >go back in time to stop the 62 KB JPG murderer >hide in front of my home one hour before midnight >dont see anyone coming, start getting nervous >almost at midnight i see a guy approach the house's door >there is no time, only mere seconds before the murder >no one else is here, this guy must be the killer >i jump out and shoot >looking closer i realize i killed my father >mfw its midnight >mfw i was the murderer all along >mfw you cant change fate

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Anon changes a password | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)00:03:21 No.860208691 >be me >make twitter account so i can catch up with my fav content creators >make account >wanna change @ >look up how to >goto thing >"Enter password to continue" 6 KB PNG >enters password >password incorrect >w--.png >enters password >password incorrect >enters password >password incorrect >goto change password >"New password cannot be same as current password" Are you f------ serious

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Anon is old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)22:16:48 No.860224081 66FC9071-E07E-4E4E-B578-5DF1AB829ADA.jpg 119 KB JPG >be me a teenager >people always say I have boring old people hobbies >don't let it get to me >on Reddit >see notification >get recommended subreddit "dating over 60" >mfw

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Anon eats his boogers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)00:26:50 No.798407588 >nom nom >crunch >gullppp >nom nom nom nom >crunch crunch 7 KB JPG >gulp >nom nom nom >gulp 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/28/19(Sun)00:43:51 No.798408721 Can I get some? 78 KB PNG

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See u later virgins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)14:10:35 No.45794990 >be me >somebody makes fun of me >girl laughs at me >this means she was thinking of me >in other terms my image was in her brain for a short while 6 KB JPG >l've basically been inside her See you later, virgins 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon loses his mind because of loneliness | /r/Greentext

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Anon has bad knees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/19(Sun)01:06:31 No.810104976 >be me >play high school football >starting tight end >offseason junior year >dislocatedkneecap.jpg >out 6 months 51 KB JPG >work to come back stronger >come back senior year >dislocate other kneecap >mfw Whats wrong with my knees? : Anonymous 09/22/19(Sun)01:07:12 No.810105014 >>810104976 (OP) # > Whats wrong with my knees? You spend too much time on them sucking d---.

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