Anon’s new chair | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Times You S--- Yourself As An (...) 07/17/21(Sat)08:06:04 No.64600437 >Be me >2019 >Only s--- myself 2x as an adult >Just bought myself an aeron for back problems >Friend calls me and asks for tape 24 KB JPG deck repair advice >"Take that pinch roller and-" >Get urge to cough >Most pathetic gust of air ever comes out of my mouth I cannot stress this enough. It was barely audible with no force >A------ takes this as the all clear and immediately gapes >A fountain of diarrhea falls out of my ass >My entire colon emptied its liquidious mass onto my new chair >Dont even realize I s--- myself at first, it takes a second to process >Hear dripping >Stand up, wet cheeks >Oh god >Chair seat is brown >Look under seat pan >The mechanisms underneath are dripping rivers of s--- off of every corner, especially down the slightly angled front It was almost graceful, like an anus waterfall, if not for the smell >The airy mesh of the aeron was serving as a fecal sieve, allowing a steady stream of ill-solid s--- to pour through >It took me 2 hours to clean my chair and it was never the same

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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