Anon takes the vaccine | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)14:26:58 No.858980810 Guys what the f--- is wrong with me >Goin to college this September >Need full vaccine for in person classes >Got my 2nd Pfizer shot yesterday >Wake up, arm hurts, no different from 1st shot 117 KB JPG >Suddenly have an uncomfortable urge to laugh >Have to at least giggle each minute to satisfy the craving >l feel like a f------ schizo, been laughing on and off for an hour

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism plant terrestrial plant font carnivore

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (1080px x 576px)

File size: 274 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,685 Images

Moar:

Anon confuses his muscles | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:09:25 No.42700771 File: mgCLuzj.png (58 KB, 151x150) >>42701707 >>42701764 >>42701849 >>42701921 >>42697730 (OP) >be me >confused my muscles every which way possible >starting to see a plateau >devise a plan to finally get my gains back on track >one day ask gf for a haircut >sit down, nice and relaxed >immediately smash my head against the kitchen counter >place myself in a medical coma >muscles have no clue what is going on, they think its the end >get pronounced legally dead >begin to snigger inside my head at the absolute bewilderment my muscles are going to receive >get placed in coffin >muscles think its really the end, they've given up >placed in the ground >dirt begins to fall on the coffin >now is my time to strike >let loose a thunderous CMON as I punch through the coffin lid >family and friends scream in horror at the sight of my bloated corpse ripping through the flimsy wood >muscles haven't even woken up yet >launch myself out of the grave (functional strength) >sprint to my car >power down the highway to the nearest >pick up a dumbbell and beginning my 8 hour arm workout >muscles are in complete and utter panic, have no idea whats going on >can audibly hear the screams of confusion emanating from my biceps >cackle to myself as they have no choice but to grow bigger and bigger >mfw the ultimate supplement is death itself gym

Pin

Anons mom walks in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/21(Wed)11:42:30 No.858975572 >Just shat in my hand while going to wipe and my mum walked in on me and thought I did it on purpose > AMA 57 KB PNG

Pin

anon wants milk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

Pin

Anon is a good christian boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/20(Tue)01:28:31 No.58340533 >be me >christian >have 3.5 peener >gf wanted sex >told her the big NO >gf breaks up 150 KB JPG >drive home sad >got into car accident >went to heaven >meet god >God shakes my hand >he whispered >"mah n----" >i smiled >sent back to earth

Pin

anon hates this generation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)17:15:05 No.854186812 Zoomers >lets goooo >finna >no cap >vibing 103 KB JPG >rn >fr >ion 42 Replies / 9 Images View Thread

Pin

Anon is a scientist | /r/Greentext

Mum found the toad closet >be me >like to dissect random toads in my backyard and put the bits in coffee jars filled with formaldehyde >keep the collection in the closet >im something a scientist >one day go to a friend's house >when I return home mum's yelling >while she was cleaning my room she found isonophine (unrelated) and my stash of dismembered toads >accuses me of being a psychopath >tells me this is the last straw and bins all of them (a little under 200 jars worth) >she's now threatening to kick me out what the f--- do i do why dont women appreciate science/?

Pin

Jeff shows a magic trick how to abuse people in 1st world countries and be rich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/20(Thu)10:50:47 No.833723514 >be me >Get chased by group of men in suits >I run >Really hard to outrun them but I 58 KB JPG manage >l get tired and they keep inching closer >Oh_fuck.wmv >Get idea >I shave my head >Instant speed boost because of aerodynamics >Distance gets greater >They start screaming >"You can't keep running away, some day we tax collectors catch you!" Image related, I'm jeff bezos View Thread

Pin

Anon sees something | /r/Greentext

>France and Britain declares War on Germany after invading Poland with the soviet union. >Germany started ww2 Something doesn't quite add up here desu 1h (7/14 8:20)· 64560983 1 Reply because both the UK and France were sworn to defend poland if they got attacked. its literally the first thing that pops up when you search "how did ww2 start" Retard

Pin

Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)17:55:27 No.64555591 >tfw been drinking so much I can't even remember what's real and what was a dream. I black out every day, then can't remember if things that happened are real or if I dreamt them in a 43 KB JPG withdrawal dream. I've been trying to stop, but it's so hard.

Pin

Anon gets ghosted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)23:48:51 No.858966322 >Be 25 and start talking to cute girl at the bar of a pizza place >hit it off and she tells me shes actually 20 >play chess with some old dudes outside a bar >get back to her place eventually >lay in her bed for a bit doing nothing >she turns over and we start making out >touch p--- grab d--- >she get on top and starts riding me >she does this for a minute and then says hold on and get off and lays down next to me >i think she just want to change positions >i get over her and stick it in and notice shes crying >talks about her being r---- by her friend last week >l stop and goto sleep without nutting >she ghosts me >see her a few weeks later at a bar in town and she literally runs away when she makes eye contact with me. I didnt even try to talk to her. s--- kinda sucked, but i got iit in atleast.

Pin

anon does like his clowns | /r/Greentext

Pin

Anon’s autism saves him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous autism saved me 07/13/21(Tue)17:31:21 No.64555287 >be me >2016 >at senior prom, last year of high school >just kinda stand in the corner awkwardly >popular girl walks up to me 32 KB JPG >"hi anon want to dance with me" >autism kicks in >stare at her awakwardly >panic and say no >she stares at me, her face is completely blank >speed walks away to her friend >feel awkward and leave the prom >next day >person comes up to me >tells me the girl wanted me to say yes so she could go just kidding

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes