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> be me > play Skyrim > enter Whiterun inn > guy challenges me to drinking contest > the p---- stops drinking after the second mug > continue drinking and pass out in the middle of the inn > wake up in a Markarth temple on the other side of the map > stupid looking nun tells me I broke in and trashed the place > angrily demands that I clean it up > fus ro dah her to death > leave temple and go to the market > mfw an assassin immediately kills a random street merchant > assassin yells, "The Reach belongs to the Forsworn!" > everyone freaks the f--- out > assassin gets sniped by random guard > guard says, "Everyone stay calm! The situation is under control. There are no Forsworn here." > ignore the dead merchant on the ground and try to leave > mfw I see a whole ass Forsworn army charging towards the city > mfw almost all the guards are killed in the assault > save the city by blowing up all the assailants with magic > go up to the only surviving guard in sight to hear what he has to say > "this is Markarth, traveler. Safest city in the reach."

anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext


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Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/08/21(Tue)19:51:50 No.146433504 >have a coworker who is Dutch >we both need to go to the same project the next day >offer to drive and say I will pick him up >he says thanks and gives me his adress >the next day I drive over to his home >he isn't fully ready to leave yet but offers me to wait inside >he asks if I want a coffee >say sure because I didn't have my morning coffee yet >his wife makes me a coffee while he finishes getting ready >drive him to the project and drop him back of at his home in the evening >he says "thank you so much for driving anon!" >get home myself >hear a notification comming in on my phone >it is a 'tikkie' for 0.50 EUR from my Dutch colleague for the morning coffee I had at his place
Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:29:29 No.146551057 1713812614849717.png 1.49 MB PNG ITT: we pretend we're in Gotham Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:34:28 No.146555487 I was waiting at the bus stop and next thing I know Im at Batmans feet with a broken collar bone and three weeks missing. Turns out Mad Hatter put one of stupid hats on me when my back was turned. Work says theyve already filled my position and theres nothing they can do I hate this city I hate this city Anonymous 11/28/24(Thu)08:36:40 No.146555501 I was blowing a dude in crime alley but his c--- tasted funny. Kinda... earthy? I looked up and it was Clayface. Called me a f-- and ran away laughing. 69 KB JPG
Oh my GOD just talk to actual women, we're all horny and unhappy too you're not special you f------ weirdos New York Post @nypost- Apr 15 Tech exec predicts 'Al girlfriends' will create $1B business: 'Comfort at the end of the day' trib.al/XORAIML : Anonymous (ID: P3y3PZCt >talk to women ew weirdo >dont talk to women ew weirdo 11/16/24(Sat)11:35:50 No.488637069
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Uploaded Jul 14, 2021 at 06:25AM EDT

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Greentext Stories

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