Femanon doesn‘t enjoy the playlist | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:09:38 No.64320819 Game 6 Osama @BonaFried Never look through your old hard drive from high school Desktop Downloads Documents Dicrer *Banging Songs- Notepad File Edit Format View Help Potential sex playlist: Imagine Dragons - Radioactive spoilers it's all fnaf songs Screenshot 2021-06-26 180822.png KB PM pic related >be me >girl >find ok guy >he's pretty shy >after months of dating we finally enter the bedroom >while l'm undressing, he suggests he plays the "sex playlist" >okwhatever.png >it's radioactive >be confused as f--- >hear "I'm waking up" as he c--- in me >next song >it's a fnaf song >the second c------ comes as I hear "Is this were you wanna be?" >say out loud "It's not" >leave >block him

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is progressive | /r/Greentext

>be progressive >part of "THE RESISTANCE" backed Presetera BLACKEDO by the mainstream media and government alike >spend the morning commenting on 185 KB JPG videos in the interracial section of pornhub about the superiority of BBC and uploading videos of my wife banging black men and muslims So liberating! Love knows no color! >After that, check CNN and MSNBC for the latest updates of what I should be mad about today >See that Bad Orange Man, Bonald Drumpft, is visiting the border with that racist wh*te man Gov Abbott. >Scramble to Reddit to consult my compatriots and equally free thinkers about what we should do >All this rage is making me hungry >Knock on the bedroom door, but my wife is busy with DayTranquavis and JerMichelob >Decide to order a venti mocha cappuccino frappulatte with extra soy from my favorite coffee shop (I choose my cafes by how many BLM and pride flags are displayed in the windows) >Spend the rest of the day reading novels written by women of color and transgenders, as not to support racist wh*te authors. >8pm, time for the local BLM loot fest- I mean protest >Don my black attire, finished off with a rainbow pin and BLM fist on my hat >Put my copy of the communist manifesto (my bible) in my pocket >film the protest on my iPhone 12 Pro Max to upload to my Twitter account >f--- capitalism >Get home, crash >Being part of the resistance is so tiring >Fall asleep on the ottoman at the foot of the bed, as the bed is reserved for women and black men

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Regeneration by degeneration | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)21:22:32 No.64322816 >>64312462 (OP) # Secret to nofap >be me >curious about the supposed power of the prostate orgasm >full body shave >equip maid outfit >finger myself for a couple hours until I c-- >its alright, nothing to write home about >feel... complete >no more lusty feelings >urge to fap completely gone >maybe this will fade away? >several days pass >no urge to fap I win, I f----- myself into nofap

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Anon meets a femboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)10:44:26 No.857714496 >be me >gay >really into femboys >go on a discord server I have a couple friends on >meet a guy who knows one of my 24 KB JPG friends >frequently talks in the nsfw channel about how horny he is constantly >go in vc >turns out he's a femboy >ohshithesreallycute.jpg >about a week later >talking with him in nsfw again >says he'd be interested in "group masterbation" >dms me and asks if I'm interested >I say yea >he sends me a bunch of nudes >later we get on call together >turns out I was the only one who accepted his offer >have e-sex >literally just met him a week ago >mfw I met an actual femboy twink and had e-sex with him >pic unrelated

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Anon gets some mosquito bites | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 754643708 3 min. ago >be me 17 >at friends house >his mom is a 10/10 >sister 9/10 >sneak into the laundry room while everyone is sleeping >start sniffing his moms panties while jerking off >about to climax and suddenly hear noise near the laundry room door >friend's sister walks in and i look at 234.8 kB JPG her in the eyes while i c-- all over her moms panties >she screams at the top of her lungs >l clean myself up with the panties and run out the door before everyone comes downstairs >sleep in the woods until my dad picked me up in the morning >48 missed calls and 72 mosquito bites

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Anon visits a dentist | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)16:54:30 No.64320673 >>64320685 >be me >finally get girlfriend >gfs name is jane >have wisdom teeth removed >happy gas >say "I love you Carol." >come to and she's gone, wont respond to texts >finally texts me in all caps "WHO TE IS CAROL" >Carol was the attractive b----- lunchlady from HS >spaghetti, tell her she was my ex-gf to sound cool instead of lame >she dumps me It seems im too autistic to keep a gf

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Anon gets dissed by a 9 years old | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)17:57:03 No.643212: >finally get a gf >go to meet her parents >walk in the door with her, her little sister is there (9) >starts laughing and says "who is that" >girlfriend says it's her boyfriend >replies with "oh nooooooo im sorry" and 185 KB PNG runs off Why are kids so f------ brutal?

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Anon is being haunted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)23:38:01 No.63989243 >today I was told by my mom go to deposit a check >have it folded in half with the deposit slip, like this << >l am walking down the driveway to the car and hear a female voice 328 KB JPG whisper (you dropped the check retard) look behind me and the check is on the ground and nobody was there >Assume it was my sister but she was in the car waiting on me and my mom was still in the house, they are the only women at our house Is it a ghost? And more importantly ghosts can detect I am a retard

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Anon has a nice comfy air conditioner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous L- 06/23/21(Wed)06:15:01 No.147266310 Imagine not owning an air conditioner, particularly heat pump one. >winter >have 23C indoors with push of a button 153 KB JPG >while everyone else f---- around with kerosene, wood, or gas, or pay fuckton of money for electricity as aircon is 3,5 timer more efficient as resistive heater >summer >not that it gets hot, but when it gets hot I have 23C indoors >everyone else doesn't Best $350 l've ever spent. : Anonymous L06/23/21(Wed)06:15:23 No.147266317 What is you excuse for not having one, europoors?

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This one hurts me bad | /r/Greentext

Duv9i6eW4AAQCuq.jpg 105 KB JPG >tfw red dead redemption 2 made me realize that there's no hiding from civilization since it's everywhere >tfw can't even really homestead today bc of stupid laws >can't even properly explore anything anymore because there isn't anything still left to explore All I ever wanted was to be free

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Anon is a sniffer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.64318755 >sniff man >musk of Gods >instant feeling of safety and protection >sniff woman 30 KB JPG >artificial chemical fragrances and rotting marine carcass >instant feeling of anxiety

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Anon loves his grandma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/26/21(Sat)22:35:58 No.857714115 >my grandma is the best person I've ever known >she worked 2nd shift as the charge nurse of an ICU for 53 years >while still working, she watched me and my 2 younger cousins while we were kids and our 465 KB PNG parents were at work >still found the time and energy to take us on adventures, buy us toys, help with schoolwork and give us advice about questions that all kids kids had >never thought about herself. Would help anyone with anything without them ever even asking >l'm in my 30s now, and she's still alive and well. I make sure to go over there at least a few times a week and help her out around the house now that she can't walk all that well >l text her good morning every single day and make sure everything's okay >i shudder to think of the when she's gone Go hug your grandmas, bros. They are a gift to humanity

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Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саpе >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents

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