Anon celebrates a birthday | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me 575 KB JPG >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is trapped in a nightmare | /r/Greentext

>read a thread on a ritual that supposedly allows you to lucid dream >attempt it >it actually works >l can lucid dream 56 KB JPG >all I have to do is say something and it happens >if I say "I can fly" I can fly >if I were to say "I used to be President" I immediately flashback to my time in office >other characters appear in my dream >they start having flashbacks of their own >l can't control them >l have to stick to the script until their flashbacks are over >Peter Griffin is a character in my dreams >l have no power over him >every time he has a flashback I'm force to play along >every night I'm trapped in an episode of Family Guy >become terrified of sleeping >eventually my body caves and I fall asleep >every night I'm subjected to a hellscape of pop culture references and poop jokes

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Anon discovers aliens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I discovered aliens anons 04/26/21 (Mon)17:06:41 No.63394591 >be me >learn about rule 34 >if it exists there is p--- of it >look up alien p--- >theres p--- of aliens >mfw i just proved aliens 39 KB JPG exist

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Anon goes for a run | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/30/20(Wed)12:43:49 No.6026769 I went running once >never run >not very good at all >look super unnatural >cop pulls up, asks me if l'm ok, and if I'm running from someone sad day

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Anon complains about bikers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)07:00:05 No.851910609 fagonwheels.png 582 KB PNG >ON YOUR LEFT >blows through stop sign >doesn't signal where he's turning >runs through red light causing 5 car pileup What the hell man!? We're rightful vehicles on the road, WATCH, THE, F---, OUT.

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anon's gonna be okay | /r/Greentext

32m · 856121460 O Re · 0 Img · GIF · 461KB · (498 × 498) >be me >can't sleep because depressed and over thinking >look over and find a pack of fruit snacks I had in my pocket >open it up >all reds >mfw we're gonna be okay Thank you fruit snacks

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Anon tries to write a story | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:45:23 No.856119221 [Reply] Hey /b/ros! Let's make a story by contributing one word each! I'lls Once | howing all replies. Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:19 No.856119255 n----- Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)11:46:31 No.856119259 >>856119221 (OP) N-----

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Sanest man in Florida | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmatur 14 KB JPG >profit

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"Maybe" is the word i hate the most. | /r/Greentext

>>43132963 (OP) >feel fine >love my life >get gf >find out I was missing out on real love >gf leaves me >wow this void is worse than my life before her 562.0 kB GIF Women are gay.

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save the best for last | /r/Greentext

>playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life 128,0 kB PNG

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Anon does Spanish classes | /r/Greentext

>>856104953 (OP) >spanish class >teacher handing back spanish test >"anon, su prueba" >she's turning away >"danke mein fuhrer" >"what?" >"thank you"

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Anon forces his fat sweaty ass to go outside | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/18(Sat)12:38:25 No.45840432 >go outside for the first time in months because of the heat >as I am walking this group of teenage girls are smirking and gossiping >one girl calls me a fatty and they all start laughing at me 41 KB PNG >f--- this c--- >l pick up a rock and hurl it in their direction >my aim was better than I thought >it smacks her right in the f------ eye and blood starts gushing everywhere >she is screaming and crying, she can't see anything >the girls start screaming too, a big commotion starts >l f------ run for it back home jesus christ, I am never going outside again How likely is it that the police will be involved? Am I f-----?

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