-
Nobody Is As Ready For Pillowy Mounds Of Mashed Potatoes As Uncle Phil -
'Thanksgiving Grandma' Plans To Reunite With Mistaken Friend For The 9th Year Since 2016 -
Blessed By The Gift Of Prophecy, This Headline By 'The Onion' Has Been An Inspiration For Schadenfreude Memes -
People Are Joking About How Korean Mahwa 'The Ki Sisters' Is Like 'Baki For Women' -
The Slang Term 'Degen' Has Become A Staple Of Meme And Crypto Culture Over The Past Few Years
+2
Teacher doesn't like anon | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments May 25, 2021 at 08:28PM EDT
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
File type: jpg
Resolution: (720px x 844px)
File size: 233 KB
More:
+2
Greentext Stories - Teacher doesn't like anon | /r/Greentext
| ◄ Previous | View Gallery Random Image | Next ► |
![File: 1623423462356.jpg (50 KB, 750x755) Anonymous 09/11/22(Sun)17:00:20 No.885436162 [Reply] ► >be me >want to take s--- >always remembered the good times of me feeling light after s------- >starts wondering how much weight I'll lose after taking said s--- >quickly stand on a scale before my ass busts >93.5 kg >"kk, now off to the s------" >-8 minutes later, after s------- a massive brick AND pissing >"Hoo boy, I must've lost a whole kilogram!" >stand on a scale >94.2 kg >mfw Pls explain to me how that happened. Is that an error in the matrix simulation? Am I supposed to file a bug report to the world gov?](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/438/554/659.png "Anon experiences an error in the matrix | /r/Greentext")
![File:1202463334.jpg-(4 KB, 146x109, depewdj5.jpg) Okay so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew and as you can see she's pretty hot. The picture doesn't really do her justice but they're all I've got at the moment. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at a TV station or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to go see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started. Firstly, I walked into office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished. "Oh, hey, what are you eating?" "Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday." "Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this? "Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods...you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff." "Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm* 02/08/08(Fri)04:35:34 No.53299049 Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went "Okay, you're account name is [my name] and your password is...'depewissexy'..." >> 02/08/08 (Fri)04:36:12 No.53299084 Oh damn. I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door she says. "In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want keep to yourself." I was so freaking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a train full of bricks. She was eating Salmon. She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey. She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself. Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human. Story time /b/:( My hot advisor found out I like her. Pic related. >> 02/08/08(Fr)04:37:30 No.53299155 Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crashing through the walls of the office as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll. The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath his massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter. >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:38:08 No.53299187 F-----' Lol i f------ lol'd >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:19 No.53299197 >> 02/08/08 (Fr)04:38:32 No.53299212 Caught me completely off guard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:39:40 No.53299267 k File:1202463580.gif-(54 KB, 361x365, 1199743000374.gif) did you make her bear cry? >>53299049 >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:40:55 No.53299331 I lol'd so hard >> 02/08/08(Fri)04:41:48 No.53299380 F----- epic win](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/589/629/76f.jpg "Anon has a crush on his school advisor. | /r/Greentext")
Image Details
448 views (2 from today)
Uploaded May 25, 2021 at 08:28PM EDT
Origin Entry
Source
Tags
reddit, greentext, greentext memes, 4chan, 4chan memes, /r/greentext, font
About the Uploader
Reddit Moments
Treasurer & Media Maid
