Anon tells us about his new year’s kiss | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon consumes a high calorie diet on a consistent basis thus resulting in excess weight gain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?

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Anon watches Aladdin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:10:42 No.801247791 >be me >going to watch the new Aladdin remake >kinda reluctant to go cause I'm not a huge fan of these live action remakes but my sister wants go so I might as well >not super into how much they've 461 KB JPG changed >one character catches me off guard >my god this character is so f------ beautiful >beautiful hair >beautiful skin >beautiful eyes >Abu the monkey is so f------ hot... >pic unrelated : Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:12:06 No.801247869 bro you don't have to tell me twice, Naomi Scott is a sexy little minx I'd love to c-- on her t--- : Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:13:06 No.801247938 oh f--- you OP i just finished reading your post f--- you, you f------ f-----

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Anon is a PC user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)17:02:52 No.855056361 >got little nightmares 2 on steam >looks fun! can't wait to try it >boot it up and notice it doesn't have ultra wide support >no problem, nothing a little hex edit can't fix >try to hex edit but it crashes the game 49 KB JPG >DRM.jpeg >have to use a software to unpack the game to remove DRM >crashes twice but finally manage to get a DRM-free version >proceed to hex edit for 21:9 ratio, it works >imin.png >boot up game and notice my FOV is all f----- up from the ultra wide ratio >have to install a unity DLL injector to activate console commands >windows flagged the injector as a threat >have to manually turn off fire wall and give it clearance >finally fix the FOV using console commands >time to play! >controller stopped working >realize that the unpacked version of the game isn't technically through steam so my PS5 controller isn't natively supported >download a 3rd party software so I can use my controller >controller works again! >can finally play the game PC master race reigns supreme once again : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)17:04:23 No.855056456 My friend recommended it to me, how is it? 66 KB JPG

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Anon brightens up his parents week | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anon has problems with math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)08:20:31 No.63797292 01 45D096F4-D326-4695-B1CD-A273FED8EE6E.gif 1.28 MB GIF >cheated on a math quiz >still only got like an 85 This was meant to be a review chapter

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Anon works in a suicide prevention hotline. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: 25 KB JPG >Be me, just getting off call with a girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.com >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters unism I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, if you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon cuts onion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)16:41:47 No.51699198 >me, 4 years ago >24 >disgustingly obese piece of garbage >best friend fit as hell >tells me i should lose weight, never pushing it on me too much tho >keep telling him i could, if i wanted to, but i don't care >yeah... sure... >one day he signs me up for gym membership and offers to pay for it >"i just want a gym buddy, bruh. you don't have to do much, if you don't want to." >okaythen.jpg >friend gets into car accident 2 days later >dies. >m------------ dies. have not skipped a gym day since. lost ~200lbs (90kg) that first year. keeping it up to become the f------ bear he always told me i could be, if i cared and was disciplined enough. i'm gonna make it, bro. i'm gonna make it. >>51699222 # >>51699394 # >>51699701 # >>51699902 # >>51700551 # >>51701276 #

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Anon is too shy | /r/Greentext

O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.8767351 File 1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle >f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >tum around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?

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Anon discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

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innovation genius | /r/Greentext

feels good man >Be me >Taking dump in public restroom >Keep wiping and wiping but it seems like the s--- isnt coming off >In a rush so starting to get irritated >Remember that old trick of using saliva to clean smudges off your face >Spit on toilet paper >Wipe it on my ass >Wait 10 seconds for it to do it's job >Wipe again >No s--- on the TP when I wiped after that >TFW it actually worked If I am to be remembered for anything in my lifetime, let it be for this innovation

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Anon got swindled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Can't even get a prostitute(...) 05/22/21(Sat)14:56:45 No.63788271 160472273626.jpg 11 KB JPG >be me >looking for a prostitute >"you have to pay a percentage first" >l paid >"wait me here, l'll be back in a minute" >wait nearly two hours >guys near by start to laugh >I left

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Space jam Makes you gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous1 hour ago 50384873 >have dream about f------ bugs bunny >wake up ??? ??? >not attracted to women anymore what the f---

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