Anon is no longer sad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)08:20:17 No.852447592 >be me >sad about small d--- >buy clone a willy >make my c--- into a dildo >suck my own cockdildo >w--.jpg >this s--- feels huge in my mouth 7 KB JPG >i no longer feel sad about my d--- >i appreciate my c--- now >thanks clone a willy

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't need GBP as it isn't invented yet | /r/Greentext

File: CaveBoy.png (76 KB, 207x195) O Anonymous 09/13/20(Sun)13:58:22 No.60027826 >Be me, mamas 275 lb caveboy >No can fit out of cave >Mama hunt for me >She get small bird and boil it with fat and fine grains >She crush small seeds and mix with honey for dip >Also mix water and sour green fruit with honey >No eat anything else >Mama come to cave one day >"Me no eat for half day, tum tum hurt while you away" "Sorry anon, no find small bird. Me find elk instead" 000000000000000000000OGA >Me grab club >"If no small bird for the tum tum, you will be this caveboy's yum yum!" >Bonk mama hard on head >get flint knife and chop mama into pieces >boil in pot >OMNOMNOM.gif >That teach bitch

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Americans will measure with anything but the metric system | /r/Greentext

04/29/21(Thu)10:12:07 No.63434046 : Anonymous = >tfw no big d--- >d--- is the same length and girth as a wiimote how f----- am l? 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:20:43 No.63434134 >>63434079 # The wiimote is most certainly not 6.3 inches. 931 KB JPG >>63434154 # >>63434254 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:22:37 No.63434154 >>63434134 # Oh s---, I thought the wiimote was a lot bigger. You're probably still fine though, like the girth seems pretty good.

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Hold the salami | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---

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Anon isn't bright | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.

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anon works at dunkin donuts | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related

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Anon makes some friends at school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party

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Anon makes a 360 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed

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Anon is gonna lose it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away

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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #

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Anon fell right into the trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep

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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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