Anon works the night shift | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)18:37:12 No.777909733 Be me >Working night shift >local hood grocery store >Customer tells me someone smoking in ladys room >Go in too see 25 KB JPG >300 Ib butt naked black lady scurrys into stall >40 mins before i punch out >dont get paid enough to fully care >Call closing manager >tell him there is a beast of a lady naked in the stall >Hangs up on me >Call back to tell him im not kidding >Mfw this is not the worst thing to happen at my job Also green text thread

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon got his revenge on neighbor | /r/Greentext

File: 1568373644855.gif (358 KB, 500x357) Anonymous 09/14/19(Sat)15:58:03 No.54403284 ► >>54403371 >>54403385 >>54403424 > Live with mom for a year. > She lives in a trashy neighborhood where every single house has a dog that is left outside both day and night. > Every single dog on every house barks at me when I pass by jogging in the afternoons. >I complain to a neighbor about it, he says that if I don't like it then I should start running somewhere else. > idea-dot-jpg > Shift my morning routine to 5 in the morning. > Choose a long route that covers as many houses with dogs as possible. > Run through the neighborhood with every single dog barking fiercely at me at 5 in the morning. > By the time I get home at 05:55 I can stil hear every dog in the neighborhood barking and howling at eachother. > Same neighbor complains about it. > I tell him "If you don't like it, you should start waking up at 5 in the morning". > Do this every day. Get f-----, you negligent normies.

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Anon experiences nostalgia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)00:34:24 No.63222122 >>63220698 (OP) # >6 >just started using a pc >played first vidya ever with my dad (first harry potter) >excited about going to school next year 1.12 MB JPG >running around all summer >reading comics and books whenever l'm not outside >want to be a secret agent or an archeologist >know nothing about the world I wouldn't say I miss these days, but I sure was miles happier then

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Anon is not human | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:26:07 No.778248228 f-----.jpg 327 KB JPG >Go out of map bounds >High level enemy spawns that kills you almost immediately : Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:27:34 No.778248229 >>778248228 (OP) # F--- off. There has never been a documented orca attack on a human in the wild. Orca's don't view humans as food nor as a threat. They mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see. >>778248231 # >>778248232 # >>778248234 # >>778248235 # >>778248236 # >>778248237 # >>778248244 # >>778248245 # >>778248246 # >>778248248 # Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)11:40:22 No.778248244 >>778248253 # >>778248254 # >>778248263 # >>778248264 # >>778248229 # >>778248272 # >>778248282 # >>778248292 # >>778248297 # >we >>778248301 # >>778248302 # >>778248310 # >>778248314 # 207 KB PNG >>778248321 # >>778248351 # >>778248397 # >>778248611 # >>778248815 # >>778248875 # >>778249065 # >>778250198 # >>778250913 # >>778251090 #

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Anon got an idea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)00:22:32 No.852097447 >be me, 16 atm >wanna piss so i go to the toilet >got an idea while I'm peeing >p----- all over the toilet 242 KB JPG and on the floor >had to clean everything worth it

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Anon loses his virginity. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)14:39:48 No.63213550 >30 years old and a virgin >fell for the get TOPPED meme >met up with a guy in his forties last night >cleaned my ass before going over >awkward conversation and have a 29 KB PNG beer >go into bedroom >he hands me his dead wife's clothes >put them on and sit on his lap >he slips down my panties and starts f------ me as I sit on him >worst pain of me life >go through with until he c--- in me >he kisses me and I c-- immediately Am I the gay?

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Anon gets raped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/21(Wed)13:47:03 No.852053870 >be me >be in college >girl comes over >6/10 would not bang >express this to her >multiple times >still down to smooch tho 1.09 MB JPG >we smoochin >no clothes >she says "I wanna put u inside" >l say nah >she puts me inside /b/ did I lose my virginity via r---?

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Anon asks the hot girl for her writing instrument. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous06/07/17(Wed)22:27:04 No.37570730 >really hot girl in class >decide to work up the courage to speak to her >"H-hey.. c-can I borrow your pen for a second?" >she hands me her pen >realize I dont even have 24 KB JPG paper to write on >shes staring at me >My mind is racing what to do >Draw a penis on my hand >give her back her pen and walk away imgflip.com

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Anon just don't have what it takes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:52:24 No.15928024 >one chance at life >allergic to nuts 3 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)04:54:48 No.15928035 >one chance at life >lactose intolerant :(

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Anon has won.... but at what cost. | /r/Greentext

> Bought a new PS4 > Last ones fan was super loud > New super small slim one > Zero noise > mfw I can hear my parents fight now

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Anon tries learning Korean, gives up after seeing the might of the ARMY. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/18(Sat)22:11:49 No.48545174 >be me >want to learn korean >google how to read korean >click on a video explaining hangul >finish video, learned how to read >feelsgood.mov 30 KB JPG >scroll down to comment section to see if theres any useful information >ohno.jpg >every comment is "WHO ELSE IS HERE FOR BTS" or "ANY ARMIES??" suddenly, i dont want to learn korean anymore

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anon is racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Faggotry on Discord - if you d(...) 04/15/21(Thu)00:23:15 No.63220353 nae n---- nae nae >be me >someone sends *that* one n---- n---- nae nae Chinese song that sounds like a funny English word on a Discord meme channel (pic related) 47 KB JPG >I reply "nae n---- nae nae n---- n---- nae nae" >mod deletes my comment and says it is racist, gives me a warning >fight him for like 30 minutes on how my message does not break any server rules as it is not directed towards no one in specific >kicks me >ffw 3 days later >receive friend request from some random guy >ассеpt >he sends screenshots of the mod's message history on the server, 156 results for "n----" How can people be so shameless?

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

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