anon doesn’t go to space | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/05/19(Mon)07:34:34 No.806369057 >Be me >Always wanted to be an astronaut >Think "if I train real hard l'll be one someday" >Train real hard >Learn physics and s--- >Eventually work my way up to the 1.02 MB PNG space program >Tfw finally accepted into the space force with highest honors >Onwards, where no man has gone before! >All of a sudden the program is cancelled >Demand to know why >"Sorry anon, we decided to hire a gang of amphibious creatures to fight for us on other planets instead" >mfw I read the first letter of each sentence

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon dislikes false advertisement. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/19(Mon)21:56:22 No.795913984 >be me, on deathbed from terminal Oronge cancer 5-hour KENERGY >drink 5 hour energy REGULAR STRENGTH >die 2 hours later Vitamins Nutrients eie - Sugar Free Gal What the f---? 31 KB JPG

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Anon is a donor | /r/Greentext

File: _91408619 55df76d5-2245-4(...).jpg (58 KB, 976x850) Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)23:52:31 No.852011249 [Reply] >>852012648 >Be me >virgin collegefag short on cash >find out about sperm clinics >figure what the hell, decide it couldn't hurt to try >after donating first "sample", get call saying that I have abnormally high fertility rate and there could be high demand for it >surprised that there could ever be any demand for my genes but sure why not >paysgood.jpg >Do this twice a week for a couple of years with a few breaks between. >ffw 15 years >really good financially, but still have no friends or social life

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Anon has ass burgers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)03:05:57 No.63063281 File: shower pepe.png (104 KB, 830x1094) >>63056316 (OP) >girls pursued me quite a lot >didn't notice or know what to do due to ass burgers >lose very many chances to get to know pretty girls >finally grow set of balls and get gf at 20 >she has personality disorder >get systematically torn apart by her for 6 years >escape and blame yourself >have trust issues forever >never love again >go to 4chan

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Anon does a motivation. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)05:23:57 No.60528021 >>60524818 (OP) # Fren. Let me tell you a secret, it's a little personal. I find struggle beautiful. Not in a weird, fetishistic, sexual 85 KB PNG way. And not in the sadistic "ngmi" kind of way. The struggle, to grow, to change, to move forward. >the hatchling cracking the shell >the butterfly bursting it's cacoon >the fight for survival >the will to live beating out the odds There is nothing more synonymous with life itself, and life is the most beautiful thing. If you're trying, if you're struggling, you're beautiful; and in my eyes you're making it. >>60528511 # >>60528789 # >>60528835 # >>60529036 # >>60530102 # >>60530223 # >>60530330 # >>60531881 # >>60532813 # >>60533065 # >>60533547 # >>60534110 # >>60534400 # >>60534410 # >>60534471 # >>60534546 # >>60535634 # >>60535909 # >>60535959 # >>60536179 # >>60538561 # >>60539043 # >>60539061 # >>60539456 # >>60539957 # >>60540440 # >>60541491 # >>60541862 # >>60541983 # >>60542037 # >>60542413 # >>60542961 # >>60542985 # >>60543146 # >>60543417 # >>60543806 # 6054 2058 u G 0544 014 S0544 A25 H C0544449

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And they shall know that I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon them | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)22:22:54 No.852034051 >Be me, 7 at the time >Have "friends" who were only friends with me because they could get me to do stuff for them >This was at a church >Parents forced me to carry a full 46 KB JPG sized bible with me at all times when at church >"Friends" start making me do stuff I didn't want to >l'm sick of it >angery.jpg >They're making fun of me >Remembers I have a large and heavy book in my hands >I know what do >Runs up bashes one over the head, screaming my lungs out >ouch.png >The rest scatter >Kid I hit just stands there, stunned >He just slowly backs away >Turn around to see another kid who watched the whole thing >It's the one who's a tattletale >ohno.mov >He looks mortified and runs off to my dad, in another part of the building >"ANON HIT (friendname) WITH A BOO0OK" >My dad doesn't say anything >Service starts later >We all go to the sanctuary and sit down >l'm terrified >Nervous through entire sermon >Sermon ends, get in car with dad, still scared >Dad looks over with a stern glare >iamgoingtodie >Glare goes away and is replaced with a smile >"I'm proud of you Anon. You stood up for yourself." >extremely confused but happy So that's how I beat another kid with a bible and got congratulated for it somehow. I still don't understand.

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Anon was ungrateful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 63205586 >be me >have a------ rash >be me 2 days ago >didn't have a------ rash what an ungrateful little s--- I was. 16.6 kB JPG

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Anon gives up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)09:43:03 No.63190036 >Not cute enough to be a sub for a hot dom milf My life is already over. I don't even want to bother trying in life. What's the point if ll never get what I want? 15 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon hates his brother | /r/Greentext

I'm so f------ done with my older brother anons. >decided at 13 he wasn't gonna live with our parents anymore since we moved outside the town. > moved into our grandparents in town >only left cause wanted to stay with 570 KB JPG friends. > his "friends" all become drug users and drink alot so he becomes one >abused our grandparents for years with verbal abuse >grandma passes leaving grandpa to deal with the s-------- >almost burned house down twice from drunk cooking and passing out > keeps f------ up job opportunities cause wants to just drink all day >tonight destroyed the door and parents went to help grandpa >he abuses mom where he is getting physical >dad slaps him around monke mode for hurting her >straight leaves and tells me all this and goes to bed >currently mom grandpa and the waste of c-- are talking with the police >waste of c-- could press charges > dad might go to jail cause this f------- can't make a good life choices and be a good son. I seriously debated should I just kill him and release this demon from my family but I was always the not f--- up(born after him) so didn't wanna do that to my family. Now I can't sleep until mom gets home so I know she safe. You f----- your life up so just hang yourself and let us live normal lives you s--------.

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Anon learns about class solidarity. | /r/Greentext

O Re · 0 Img · JPG · 278KB · (1047 × 604) >be me >lost great and well paying part-time job due to plandemic >can't find new one for months >see advertisement for job in big company as delivery driver >says they pay 15€ >dudewhythefucknot.jpeg >get job >it's hard but I like 15€ >find out they pay minimum wage until probation is over after first paycheck >probation is 6 months >mfw I got jewed >better keep the job because who know how long covid scam will last and effect job market >get fired after about five months >mfw I got ultra-jewed >rage.img >go to their warehouse on last day where all the n------ work >tell n------ about the jewing >read the news a week or so later >goods in warehouse got destroyed, car windows smashed, some set on fire and some even got s--- and piss in them >mfw I got my revenge without doing anything illegal >mfw the n------ were my allies

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/v/tard ponders brutality of nature | /r/Greentext

File: 1602596553233.webm (1.12 MB, 480x480) O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:33:34 No.551628480 >>55162 >>551628552 >>551628689 >>551629083 >>551629468 >>551629635 >>551630179 >>551630210 >>551630407 >tfw i'm more excited for upcoming mods than actual games O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:42:56 No.551629083 >>551629291 >>551629413 >>551629540 >>551629594 >>551629641 >>551630375 >>551630494 >>551630516 >>551630664 >>551630901 >>551630960 >>551631018 >>551631030 >>551631105 >>551631135 >>551631261 >>551631393 File: 1426760606260.png (464 KB, 481x518) >>551628480 (OP) >cow drinking milk isn't that canibalism? File: 1614785942915.gif (2.6 MB, 498x434) >>551629083 O Anonymous 04/12/21( >>551629083 anon pls File: 1617237193278.pm O Anonymous 04/12/21(Mon)10:45:47 No.55162929 File: Are you being retarded on(.).jpg (164 KB, 1224x1 A e ad D >>551629083 This better be bait aceApp >>551629083 god damn it anon >>551629083 this is the funniest post i've seen on /v/ in two months anon, thank you so much ile: 1617169153254.png (113 KB, 297x28 >>551629083 >>551629083 >>551629

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/03/21(Sat)06:11:03 No.851186233 Retard story time >me, 11 years old >2004 on holiday which family >staying in highrise apartment at beach >have dream like on Bruce Almighty 12 KB JPG where a flying coffee cart comes to my window >only accepts pillows as payment >order hot chocolate >pay with pillow >wake up in morning with no pillow >look through 3 inch gap in safety window >pillow laying on sidewalk Ok

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Anon buys plates | /r/Greentext

File: babyplates.jpg (327 KB, 1500x1500) O Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)21:54:41 No.616562327 > be me > gf gave me $ to buy "fancy dinner plates" > had no idea what to buy looked on amazon for 2 hours > finally found something > "what you pick for us?! ^_^" > "wait and see" > 4 days later a package arrives > gf opens it > she pulls out a set of 8 kid plates with bees on them > starts shrieking and cussing me out calling me a f----- for wasting money on this s--- when she said she wanted GROWN UP PLATES > they never broke tho > cause theyre fine quality plates > they're really great plates > pic related its the plates

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