Anon is visited by penis fairy | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:49:58 No.23850515 >got up the morning >check pants >penis fairy got me again How do you guys stop the penis fairy from putting glue on your penis when you wake up? So, the nightmare begins again. 306 KB PNG 1 Reply View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon realize something important | /r/Greentext

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Here we go, the world is spinning. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/20(Wed)12:25:32 No.120221896 >Happy birthday son, here is your present, I hope you like it 206 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/25/20(Wed)12:26:39 No.120221944 >>120221896 (OP) # >WHAT THE F--- GIGACHAD? HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE MOVIE? 513 KB PNG >>120222043 # : Anonymous 03/25/20(Wed)12:28:53 No.120222043 >>120221944 # >movie? Are you talking about this cool tape I found? 181 KB JPG >>120222100 # >>120222210 # : Anonymous 03/25/20(Wed)12:30:01 No.120222100 >>120222043 # >woah check it out I think she wants to suck my d--- bro haha 63 KB JPG >>120222210 # >>120222229 #

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Anon does asmr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)02:09:07 No.843845416 066.png 69 KB PNG >decide to do ASMR videos >get banned from youtube for uploading 'ASMR roleplay: abortion clinic | lets scrap that fetus' Well that was a bust

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Anon insults the cat | /r/Greentext

O Weird Memories Anonymous 03/27/21(Sat)21:13:22 No.62946387 [Reply] D >jokingly call the cat a f----- >dad lectures me on animal abuse

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Fake: Girls sends Anon nudes Gay: Anon unironically uses pog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:19:40 No.850710433 >messaging girl for a while now >she finally sends me nudes >"what do you think of me, anon?" >type pog, it autocorrects to pig. >press send before I realise me mistake 5 KB JPG >she blocks me before I can explain Why must fate hurt me this way? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:20:38 No.850710478 : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)19:21:12 No.850710505 >pog military grade cringe, die alone.

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Anon tells university story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)18:23:45 No.49234214 This one still hurts me >at the university basketball court >shooting hoops with some friends >free time for basketball ends, yoga class about to start >all the yoga qts file into the >me being the tall, athletic, cocky son of a 139 KB JPG gym gun that I am, start throwing down dunks to impress the ladies >two girls that I know approach me >"hey anon. Let's make a bet. If you go up for a dunk and miss, you have to take my friend here on a date" >qt friend giggles and smiles >agree, think to myself "f---, like I would ever miss a dunk. Especially in front of my boys" >everyone watching now >go up and throw down one of my best tomahawk slams >my friends go nuts >girls look at me sad and confused >walk up and awkwardly say "sorry, I don't miss dunks" >they don't say anything, just walk away >mfw I realize I was supposed to miss it on purpose Neither of them talked to me again >>49234236 # >>49234263 # >>49234298 # >>49234317 # >>49234412 # >>49234481 # >>49234664 # >>49234704 # >>49234739 # >>49234806 # >>49234817 # >>49234851 # >>49234921 #

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Anon controls the market | /r/Greentext

03/24/21(Wed)12:15:01 No.31710569 bog.jpg 22 KB JPG >economy is recovering? >block the canal

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Anon is too late | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:39:59 No.62952175 Girl >have a crush, very popular girl >one day me and the boys at same swimming pool as girls group. >girl tells me my crush also has a crush on me >crush has a serious expression on 67 KB JPG her face she 99% means it >autism kicks in >say cool, walk away silently >lots of people saw it >years later >ask her out >she rejects with a smile Where did I go wrong bros..? : Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)16:42:17 No.62952190 >>62952175 (OP) # >years later there it is >>62952202 #

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Piercing the simulacrum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)09:17:02 No.62951575 School >last day of school before 1 week holidays >get home, feeling great >have a fun weekend >first day of actual holidays, Monday >dad gets p----- at me for playing 68 KB PNG vidya >says school starts in a week and I have to study >holidays going to s--- really quickly I get the good intent my dad had but this is one of the things I hated the most in my childhood. Can anyone relate?

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Anon is envious of his neighbor | /r/Greentext

1614132247152.jpg| 6 KB JPG >go to check mail >notice neighbor is still lying face down on lawn He's been doing that for like 4 days now. Must be nice to f--- off on a weekday

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Anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

your Féel TO 1592964201459.jpg| 51 KB JPG >catfishing on dating website >qt girl messages me >'oh my god, Bon Jovi i love your music!" >ask her if she wants to meet at a nearby Denny's so i can sing to her >she agrees >tell her to wait at table 7 >go to Denny's >walk to table 7 >mfw it is another neckbeard who was catfishing >mfw i fisted him with a cat for catfishing me I just want to find true love /b/ros.

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Anon goes to cinema with dad | /r/Greentext

272d3f1985fbb13fd8701390f.).jpg (38 KB, 640x628) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:13:51 No.90452095 - >>90452267 >>90452385 >>90452451 >>90453024 >at cinema with dad >character says the word n----- >dad laughs out loud Anyone want to trade? B Anonymousv E O Anonymous 11/19/17(Sun)10:15:34 No.90452144 v >>90452161 >>90452257 >>90452264 >>90452285 >>90452322 >>90452350 >>90452384 >>90452385 >>90452394 >>90452402 >>90452452 >>90452798 >>90452835 >>90452871 >>90453027 >>90453047 >>90453055 >>90453080 >>90453104 >at cinema with n----- >character says the word dad >n----- looks around in confusion

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