Cat gets disappointed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP) # That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets a summer job | /r/Greentext

O Wagie stories bread Anonymous (ID: Os/AVMCK) E 03/19/21(Fri)12:39:13 No. 12365629 [Reply] Can we have a wagie stories bread? Il start >Be me >be spring/summer 2019 >summer going into senior year of HS >get wagie job at some office space style cubicle farm with hundreds of cubicle slaves. >my job is to do cleaning and/or grunt s--- the old zombies couldn't be bothered to do >l scrub toilets and move dozens of 50 lbs boxes full of f------ documents up and down stairs. >l get paid f------ chump change, so I do chump work. >There is this storage room where old s--- and legal papers are stored in massive box shelves. > One day, I am sitting on an old bean bag chair sitting in the basement storage room. I'm ripping my Novo and browsing /pol/ and /b/ >I look over to my right and see a shelf full of old computers labeled "broken". >l crack one open to look at the s--- inside >there is a f------ GTX980 plugged into this work machine >l jewgle the model of the computer and it turns out, these are really f------ expensive work machines. >Next day I go back to the office with my screw drivers and "borrow" three GTX 980s. >Sell them on eBay for 2 thousand shekels. >quit next week to get ready for school >never work there again, I left state after I graduated highschool.

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anon likes the sea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)22:30:01 No.62856870 why not take the sailorpill anon? >no women >no need to shower, the sea showers you >only eat nutritious sardines and drink water 192 KB JPG >get to sing shanties >get to be truly disconnected from modern day society. >no news to bother you just the smell of the sea and the wind blowing thru your hair and beard

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Anon gets his hopes up | /r/Greentext

>be me >18 >virgin >hates my look >hates my weight >lives at mums house 14 KB JPG >has no job due to the f------ lockdown >mums friend comes over >brings her daughter >mum and her friend leaves the house to go partying >we decide to have our own little party ourselves >takes beer out of fridge and plays music on our speaker >parties for a few hours >we have a genuine chat about life n s--- >orders her a pizza out of my savings >we finish pizza both drunk as f--- and listening to music >asks her for number >sorry im lesbian mfw

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Anon is /fit/ | /r/Greentext

>be me >6 months ago >overweight, depressed, lives with parents >watch highlights on YouTube of a streamer 61 KB JPG called WingsOfRedemption >morbidly obese sad looser who lives with his grandma >wait a minute.png >watch videos of him whining about being 500lbs+ daily >get disgusted that I might someday be like that, get motivated to eat better and work out >work out and eat good for 6 months >not fat anymore Thanks fatass.

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Anons jihadist larping abilities improve quite a bit | /r/Greentext

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Anon misunderstood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)19:35:14 No.48765262 >at bar >about to leave because I'm pretty tired >guy comes up to me and says: "are you into Asian girls?" >Think it's a weird conversation 146 KB PNG starter so he's either a pimp or a weirdo, either way don't want to engage in conversation, just want to go home. >Blow him off by saying: "I'm leaving right now dude" >He says "ok" and goes up to a group of people including an Asian girl. >As I'm leaving see him talk to them and the girl starts looking upset >mfw realise the girl had sent her friend over to see if I was interested in her. He should have just said it instead of being vague, doesn't he know how autistic I am?

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Anon's dad might be racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/18(Sat)19:37:13 No.48422529 >stepdad called me a n----- again 45 KB JPG 14 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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You can't come home again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Coooooo00om 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying > suddenly she grabs my face and leans close 23 KB JPG > wispers 'come for mommy baby boy' > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Anon tries social interaction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/19(Thu)21:22:20 No.53807811 >Therapist tells me to make an effort to talk with my colleagues more >Say I'll try >Joking by the water machine (seriously) with one of them a few days later 103 KB PNG >Tell her she has the same name as one of my favourite pornstars >Got a message from HR saying they want to speak to me tomorrow morning Boys, just f--- this entire gay planet sometimes 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Alpha male protects grandma | /r/Greentext

File: 1616232028222.gif (891 KB, 390x364) Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)12:21:14 No.850307165 >>850307287 >>850308092 >visit grandma >drinking tea and eating biscuits >her phone rings >"hello" >"what security did you say?" >me grab the phone from her >say hello who is this in my manly voice >they hang up >alpha as f--- anyone else good at faking a deep voice? Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)12:23:50 No.850307287 >>850308585 >>850309502 >>850309585 >>850309932 >>850307165 (OP) >"oh no, a little boy answered the phone instead of the old person, hang up!"

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anon feels pain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)16:24:04 No.850316656 [Reply] >>850318580 >be me >regularly go the local convenience store >cute cashier always greets me with a nice smile, asks me about my day, etc. >one day decide to ask her out >awkwardly says 'no' >oh ok >ffw following day >same cashier >not even a good morning >pain

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anon explains why Hitler was the original SJW | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XMfB6nRj) Explain this to me /pol/ 11/13/15(Fri)16:33:20 No.55540877 >Has some autistic hair style to desperately look unique >Blames other races for his own personal failings and flaws >Wears racial pride insignia because he has nothing else to be proud of >Didn't have a good father to raise him with 177 KB JPG proper values >Wants to be a f------ artist of all things until a school rejects him >Goes into political activism instead, shrieking dumb ideas at losers like himself >Gets thrown in jail and writes a dumb whiny book with a retarded dramaqueen tier title >Starts censoring anyone who disagrees with his >Constant victimhood status, claiming everyone is out to stop him >Absolute control freak, telling people how to live their lives >Commits suicide like a little bitch when the real world is too tough for him Tell me /pol/, why do you like Adolf Hitler? This guy is literally the original Social Justice Warrior. >pic unrelated

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