Anon is a mega chad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 19283746583.png (33 KB, 194x190) Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)06:05:43 No.846502047 >>846502131 >>846502190 >>846502247 >>846502251 >be me >girl asked me to come over >i am shaking with nerves >never kissed a girl before >tell her i can't come i have a clan meeting on my online multiplayer 20 year old roleplay clicking game >she pretends to be sad >messages another guy >phew >i am not part of any clans in my game >too scared they will ask me to voice chat >feel alpha that i lied to her and she believed me >feel beta because i lied to her and she believed me >feel like a loser Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)06:06:12 No.846502078 >>846502328 OP, you are a mega-autist Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)06:07:18 No.846502131 >>846502047 (OP) Doomed forever if thats how youre gonna be Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)06:09:18 No.846502247 >>846502297 >>846502914 >>846502047 (OP) This is where we're at chaps, the typical white male. This is as good as it gets now. It's been fun.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon suffers in brit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)02:50:19 No.62211469 >be me >britbong >lose my walking license >need to go the shop for cigarettes >decide to risk it 48 KB JPG >trying to speed walk so I don't get caught >copper legit turns the corner right in front of me >asks why i'm walking so quickly >asks to see my walking license >explain that l've lost it >immediate 200 quid fine >f--- >get to the shop >door only opens using a door license >f--- >l forgot it >beg the guy behind the counter to let me in >he does >get in the queue >luckily I remembered my queuing license >get to the front of the queue >ask for the cigs >he asks for my c-------- license >hand it to him >It's expired >f--- f--- f--- >get fined another 200 quid for swearing without my profanity license I f------ hate this country. 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon has a good dad | /r/Greentext

File: flat, 750x,075,Épad.750x1(..).jpg (146 KB, 750x1000) O Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:36:11 No.848339669 [Reply] > >>848340859 >>848341296 >be me >15 yo fat f--- with no gf >dad called a fat f--- >got rekt >can do nothing >start to hit the gym and do exercise >ffw a few months later >my body changed a lot, bigger chest and bicep, my abs is revealed >show it to my dad >"wow anon this is good, you look better than me back then, keep working on" >"remember when you still shorter than me ?" >we both laughed >thank dad for supporting me to improve myself and I f------ love you dad >pic related 3 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon joins a furry gang | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCC) 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these retards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness? >>107430205 # >>107430206 # >>107430209 # >>107430254 # 107420296 # 107420322 # 107420490 107420579 #

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Anon's daughter is 8 years old today | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 12/04/16(Sun)00:19:20 No.359600273 >359600448 >>359600491 >>359600539 >>359600560 >>359600601 >>359600602 >>359600625 >>359600764 File: Spoiler Image (82 KB, 528x960) >>359599614 Its not much of a story anon ill give you the quick green txt version. >Be about 6 yrs ago >Meet a grill on FB >We hit it off and date >Few months into it she gets pregnant >We decide on adoption >Fast forward to delivery day >As my daughter is born I decide I cant/wolnt give her away >Baby momma tells me she doesnt want her and if I want to keep her its all on me >I say alright take the child and move back in with family >Raise the child for 4 years on my own with no help from her mother >My family helps out here and there >Finally save up enough to get a place for us and pay rent a year in advance >We move into a one bedroom >She gets the bedroom I sleep on the pullout >She is 5 now her bday is on the 17th >lve worked as much as I can so she will have stuff for her bday and christmas >pic related its last xmas

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Anon hates his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47758382 : >Be furry artist >Make about 250 dollars each commission and it takes me 3 days to do one. >Patreon is getting me over 4k a month just to post my commissions there. >Not even that well known yet. >Vommit about 5-6 times while making each commission because I find furries f------ disgusting. >Get some really f------ disgusting commissions like tigers s------- on the heads of wolf men while a horse masturbates in the corner. Charged over 500 dollars for that and the guy actually f------ paid upfront. >lf I do regular art I won't even make a 1/5 of what I am currently making. >Can't handle real jobs I hate my life. 2 REPLIES

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Anon doesn’t like women in his lobby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NHQe9yHf Women in Gaming 02/26/21(Fri)07:08:52 No.309805388 9 ameststtry >Woman bottom fragging >Being an attention w---- >'accidentally' walking into fire >constantly has to announce her location >Can't communicate any positions effectively because the team's portable n----- has to keep interjecting "Trolling inhabits a grey zone between freedom of speech and anonymous attacks. Many women journalists, including myself, have tn deal with the consequences on our own wh man ames 122 KB JPG >Gets called out for being a parasite and bottom fragging >Tries to vote kick person who called her out >Vote fails, barely >Starts trying to socially divide the team into 2 infighting groups like some sort of jew >...but keeps getting called out >More of the team has begun to hate her >Futilely vote kicking (and failing) at every possible opportunity >Team begins s------- all over roastie >Entire team calls her out for bottom fragging >Roastie refuses to change her behavior >Roastie refuses to try harder >Keeps trying to cause infighting >Team kicks her >Writes an article about all of the anonymous attacks she faces daily >Blames a toxic, sexist gaming culture >Article is used to rapidly increase moderation and causes an influx of retards >Kills the game because she couldn't be a parasite and didn't want to put in effort (sounds like IRL) MEANWHILE >New guy fils the hole roastie left >Gets called a bottom fragger 'I bottom fragged ur mum last nite c---' >000000000ooh >Game moves on

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Anon visits India | /r/Greentext

>be me >finishing last year of med school >hardest thing I've ever done in my life Psuper intense studies never really had time for social life or grills >last day of class 445 KB JPG >all the disciplines gathers for final summit >meet random Indian girl >pretty hot for a street s------ >smalltalk.mp3 >she invites me to end of the year party at friends house >f--- it why not >arrive at party >full of chad and becky medfags so party is boring as f--- >think about leaving >finally spot the poopy qt >she's actually really interesting >end up talking about vidyas and music all night >eventually tells me her parents still live in some slum back in India >parents gave everything to get her to school >sadviolin.wav >fast forward a month >finally graduated >grill and I have getting more serious >we are both looking for a residency at any hospital that will take us >entire process is exhausting >India gt telis me she is going home to visit her parents >asks me to go with her >never been abroad and need a break from jab search >decide to go with cont. >Airlndia.gif >inside of the plane smelis like a curry dumpster >finally make it to New Delhi >parents live an hour car ride outside of the city >landscape getting increasingly s----- >see people literally s------- in the streets >wild dogs everywhere >get to parents house >mudhut with no windows >qt keeps apologizing for the slum horror >introduce myself to the parents >typical India npc's but super nice >mom starts cooking dinner >dad constantly swearing and chasing off dogs that try to come in the house while mom cooks >tells me the dogs are huge problem >tells me locals round up and kill the femalo dogs to stop them from breeding >grossed if out but shrug it of >mom announces dinner is ready >never had authentic Indian food so I'm f------ stoked >mfw the mom brings out an actual lasagna >mom sees l'm stunned and confused >"oh, anon, my daughter told me you're Italian' >i'm sicilian but ok >don't want to be rude >to my shock the lasagna is actually incredible >mom explains how difficult it was to find the ingredients >l ask what kind of meat she used >"oh it's from last nights dog slaughter" >excusemewhatthefuck.jpeg >mfw I'm eating street dog >mfw I'm eating dog lasagna >mfw I realize l'm literally eating bitch lasagna >bitch lasagna >T-series ain't nothin but a bitch lasagna

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Anon goes full retard | /r/Greentext

File: aB0qBz1_700b jpg (100 KB, 700x2497) Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:53:56 No.845374686 ► >>845374748 >>845374776 >>845374789 >845374833 >>845374904 I fuckeda trap and regret it >meet fren from discord >we live near eachother >hes a trap >we get super close and start meeting up >one night we start drinking >one thing leads to another and we're getting handsy >he goes to the bathroom to "prep" >he comes back, im diamonds >l slide my d--- in >feels like a ring around my d--- >eh it feels ok for me >Start pounding away no wrap >hes moaning >pull out my d--- >LITERAL WATERY S--- ON MY C--- >S--- has mixed with the Lube and is now leaking out of His ass >it fills the room with a Strong smell of S---- >He leaked poop all over my bed >l run to the bathroom to vomit >"PUKE" >my d--- is still semi hard >look down at it >'oh my f------ god" >tiny small bits of white string on my d--- >Tiny small bits of White String moving ALL OVER MY D--- >kicked that mentally ill freak out of my Flat >spend 3 hours in the shower I Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:56:55 No.845374776 >845374686 (OP) Ha. You got ass worms on your pp

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Anon attends movie night | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/21/21(Sun)04:56:36 No.146940005 >>146942542 >>146940402 >zoomers will never know the feeling of going to a friends house to watch a movie, finding a black tape in the VCR that turned out to be his parents sex tape we hid it for later viewing and both jacked off. I called him a for jacking off to his own parents but I was wrong to do it. Daniel, if you are reading this I'm sorry. If you still have the tape I really would like to see your mom's t--- again.

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Anon joins the Army | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon is the fresh prince of Zaire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:25:31 No.848330977 >In west Somalia born and raised, in the jungle is whereI spend most of my days, skinnying out minimising, starving all cool, shootin up sailors outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good, started spreading ebola to my neighbourhood, I got one little cough and my mom got scared and said “you're moving to your 7 KB JPG aunties and uncles in Zaire" >l whistled for a dear and when it came near the dear wasn't fresh and had lice in its ear, if anything I can say this dear was rare but but I thought Allah forget it, yo homes to Zaire. >l pulled, up to the shack about 7 or 8 and yelled to the dear yo homes smell you later, looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Zaire

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Anon found his sister's diary | /r/Greentext

File: 1283774452.png (221 KB, 274x427) Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:46:00 No.848334377 >>848334688 >>848334909 NSONAN my sister died and i found her diary, how much would it cost to publish it as a book for simps to read or should i just chuck it in the bin? Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:52:01 No.848334636 >>848335185 Scan the pages and upload them in as a slide show to youtube. You probably wouldn't make much money from publishing and the social ramifications could easily outway the profits. Uploading to youtube could probably earn a little bit of change in ads and you could also keep some anonymity if done right. Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:53:28 No.848334688 >>848335185 >>848334377 (OP) post some highlights here Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:56:59 No.848334837 ► >>848335185 How long is it? Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:58:46 No.848334909 >>848335185 >>848334377 (OP) If you're not trying to make money off it you can just scan the pages and upload it on the internet Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)15:04:29 No.848335185 File: 1298398398494..png (177 KB, 360x334) >>848335366 >>848335865 >>848335868 >>848334636 >>848334688 >>848334837 >>848334909 haha you guys fell for it, i don't even have a sister and all my other family is already dead lol Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)15:08:17 No.848335366 >>848335185 Well done you really tricked everyone! Have a lovely day and enjoy masturbating over this when you think about it later.

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