Anon has a weird dad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>>58082556 not sure if its worse >15 >try to make pancakes >spill hot oil on myself >burns on both hands and my right thigh >cant j------- >dryhump everything in my room >cant c-- >worst blueballs i ever felt >dad helps me shower >get rock hard as soon as he soaps my thigh >tell him i cant j------- >he cant stop laughing >then tells me to promise not to tell mom >i kind of expect he will jerk me off in the shower but instead he makes it way weirder >he instructs me to lie on my back on my bed and hands me a sleepmask, tells me he will be right back >after a couple of minutes he comes back, speaking in a feminine offensively thick asian accent >"you come for special massage yes yes? good." >he gives me a proper massage while I feel like my balls are going to explode >he occasionally says random stuff about my body being tense, fully in character >after about 30 minutes of massage, he starts doing this onedirectional slowjerk motion with a lubed hand while playing with my balls with other >from this point on i am just nonstop moaning like a bitch >edged me like that for at least 15 minutes, occasionally slowjerking in different ways >finally lets me c--, >i take off the sleepmask >he wipes off the c-- with a worm moist towel >i burst out laughing, he joins >he clearly saw this as a fun experience, i was still being awkward, he told me he'll take me to thailand when i turn 18 >he died two years later >when i was 20 i saved up enough to travel to thailand on my own >went to get a 'special massage', closed my eyes and pretended it was my dad doing an offensive accent, couldn't stop crying after i came and they didn't charge me

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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