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(..).jpg (222 KB, 1162x1600) O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:35:20 No.67231534 How does cobra maintain any cash flow with them constantly being defeated by GI Joe. Is cobra commander some mystical mage or something O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)02:32:09 No.67233757 >>67231534 >maintain any cash flow The Baroness sells her bathwater. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:36:52 No.67231551 >>67231534 Destro is a weapons dealer, a prolific one at that. I'm sure they have other forms of income on top of that. The Joes rarely, if ever, interfere in the small-time weapons sales. At least to my knowledge. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:38:07 No.67231568 It's a cult-like organization which has their fingers dipped into all manner of things. It's only when they get blatant that the Joes shut them down. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:40:18 No.67231588 File: Backbreaker_thumb_05_SITE.jpg (41 KB, 500x281) O Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)02:54:33 No.67266978 >>67231534 Videogame microtransactions, >>67234974 >Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities. Well yeah, obviously. I guess thats what happens when an apparently super genius and super charismatic individual like CC mentioned here >>67231594 and here >>67232540 gets deeply disillusioned with society at large. Sure, Cobra Commander has accumulate a greater sum of power and control over the system to reasonably claim he rules it, but he also hates and would rather terrorize the world than rule, so that's what he does. He disdains and spits upon the very idea of legitimacy, he wants to be an eternal and irremovable thorn in the side of humanity, not its dear leader. obviously. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:40:50 No.67231594 >>67231534 IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire? O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:56:38 No.67231771 >>67231594 >got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way Didn't his brother getting drafted into Nam and then returning with PTSD and being treated like crap by the government and public have something to do with it? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:15:06 No.67232540 >>67231594 >IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire? Yes, and he did it in less than a year IIRC O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:45:27 No.67231653 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)21:39:31 No.67246500 File: 1555100981244.png (154 KB, 340x335) >>67231588 Not just this, but also television, books, fast food, beer, soda, gasoline and, most heinous of all, miniature wargaming. >>67231594 >when you hate your job so goddamn much you start an international terrorist organization O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:08:17 No.67232489 File: captains log.jpg (27 KB, 456x810) >>67231534 Cobra is funded by the US government to carry out attacks that give America justification to invade countries to "Increase stability" O Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)00:16:00 No.67248499 >>67247271 In my case it's more a matter if "F--- this job. I'll put a blue sack over my head, go with a serpent themed organization with all kinds of weirdos who get their asses beat by other weirdos who claim to work for the US government or whatever, rather than stay here another day!" O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:08:39 No.67232493 >>67231534 Cobra is the 'hit squad' for the illuminati. Cobra is used by them to create chaos as part of their general agenda for the world. One of the perks of being illuminati stooges is infinite money. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:40:28 No.67232801 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)21:42:44 No.67246551 >>67231534 >>67232801 >GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra. Destro runs a major arms manufacturing company on the scale of Boeing, Lockheed, and Remington/Springfield/Smith & Wesson/Ruger all combined. I mean, the Saudis did 9/11 and Riyadh isn't a smouldering radioactive ruin, either. There's real life precedent. The Twins run a major corporation that rakes in billions in profit. O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)08:48:17 No.67286974 GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra. >>67232801 Destro sells arms to the US through shell companies, who equip a special mission force to always be ready to respond to Cobras threat. O beepysheep 07/13/19(Sat)02:31:41 No.67233754 >>67232801 Cobra is the military industrial complex's false flag unit that creates a need for all these weapons. it's funny because at one point the twins just cancel their loans and support for cobra, and the whole thing just implodes. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)02:52:13 No.67233912 >>67231534 It's actually explained in the comics. They have shell companies that funnel them money through nearly untraceable means, as well as people infiltrated into various large companies and government organizations that can discreetly move money to them and hide the paper trail. One of the requirements for joining the Crimson Guard, Cobra's elite troops, is to have a degree in law or financing specifically because the CGs also double as their elite spies and infiltrators. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)03:07:15 No.67234047 >>67233782 GI Joes has a suprizingly deep lore in the comics, at least (the TV series..not so much). The guy who wrote them, Larry Hama, is a Vietnam vet so he knows military stuff, and wanted to write the comics with proper character development and running plotlines instead of just going where the fence was lowest and doing a bunch of toy commercials (although it's often obvious where the higher ups told him he had to somehow insert the newest toy into the comic, whether it makes any sense or not; I think the best example is Cobra Commander showing up driving the Pogo Ballistic Pod thing for all of two pages before it gets blown up). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)03:12:32 No.67234097 >>67233970 Isn't one of the other running themes about Cobra is that while GI Joe always manages to f--- up all his big plans, they can never catch all the little plans he's got going, which always end up growing into more big plans? Like, GI Joe is always on the back foot. They have to win every single time, while Cobra's only got to win once. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:22:25 No.67234974 >>67232540 AND Destro is like majorly rich, the Baroness is also fairly well off, AND rules a chunk of land. Plus Cobra under their shell companies Arbco and the like, make a ton of money. Tomax and Xamot are not just the leaders of the Crimson Guard, they are also the co-CEOS of many of the businesses that Cobra runs. Frankly Cobra has enough fingers in enough pies that if the corporations Cobra owns were taken down they would cause the economic collapse of the US and several other nations as wellI. Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:29:01 No.67235029 >>67232801 Destro's wealth wouldn't directly benefit Cobra, though, as he's an independent agent. He owns an arms manufactoring company and is unscrupulous enough to sell weapons to anyone with the cash, including international terrorist organizations. And since that makes him the only major arms manufacturer willing to sell directly to Cobra, Cobra ends up being his biggest customer. He maintains close ties to Cobra because of that, but Cobra still has to pay him for all the weapons he procures for them. Eventually Destro even builds his own private military force (the Iron Grenadiers) and reduces his ties with Cobra. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:31:53 No.67235042 >>67234974 What exactly do Cobra terrorist ops DO anyway? Like, in the 1980's GI Joe Movie there's this huge battle between them and the Joes over the statue of liberty. Like, what were they trying to do? Steal it? Blow it up? >>67275274 That would be pretty funny if collateral damage was actually Cobra's primary goal since let's be honest there are much easier ways to destroy the Statue of Liberty than jetpacking their own Commander in with a ridiculous time bomb. They could have just used a rocket and killed all the Joe's conveniently waiting in the torch. Or since they had a ship overhead just dropped bombs. It's too easy to imagine some senator saying, "Well sure the GI Joe team defeated Cobra but look at how much damage was caused by blowing up that ship. It'll take millions of dollars and years to clean up all this wreckage, not to mention the environmental impact! We need to rein in these O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)10:54:37 No.67237631 >>67232540 I love that in every single continuity except the original cartoon, Cobra Commander is legitimately threatening and terrifying. antics!" And the f----- probably wouldn't even be on Cobra's payroll either! I also loved it when GI Joe Resolute implied it took place in the same continuity as the original cartoons and the Commander was play-acting being a moron back in the day trying to motivate his underlings, but finally got sick of their s---, decided to get serious, and blew up Moscow just to prove that he could. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-MbCfvP7c >"And this is how I win the world..this juncture, of course, is usually where the wheels come off...but not this time. Cutting the traitor Major Blood's heart in half right here, right in this room, should have gotten the point across. It suited me, once, to appear weak and cowardly, because it motivated you "people" to think. But today..is a new day. There will be no moves to take over my command, there will be no mistakes - there will be none of your CRAP! NONE OF IT! Work with me, and I will give you the world in less than twenty-four hours. Work against me..and I will gut you like a fish." O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:02:30 No.67237722 >>67237631 Actually now that I think on it, whenever Cobra Commander himself came up with a plan in the original cartoon he tended to almost win, and the Joes frequently pulled victory out from their ass through blind luck rather than actual skill. Original Cobra Commander also listened to his underlings and took their advice into consideration, rewarded loyalty, and didn't tend to punish underlings for failures that they had no actual control over. He was also a MUCH better leader than Serpentor because he had a much better grasp of strategy and logistics (Serpentor was just "Attack! Attack! Attack!") and always made sure to incorporate a way out into his plans, never overcommitting Cobra's forces. And Serpentor never listened to anyone unless they already agreed with him, and sometimes not even then, utterly convinced of his own superiority. Cobra Commander was evil, but he was a pretty good leader. Y'know, within the context of Saturday Morning Cartoons. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:10:43 No.67237804 >>67231534 What the f--- is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:17:09 No.67237864 >>67237804 Everyone gets a snake motif O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:29:41 No.67237976 >>67237804 >What the f--- is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning? Destabilize the world powers so Cobra-La can rise up from under the planet's surface and slaughter the monkeys that laid claim to their world. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:43:25 No.67238093 >>67237804 In the comic Cobra Commander was a fascist wannabe-dictator who wants to impose his will on the rest of the world. He had a very social darwinist ideology where those with power had the right to do anything they could get away with, and one should seek to gain power through any mean necessary. In the cartoon his motivation was never defined beyond being evil and wanting to take over the world, except in the s----- movie where they made him a member of an ancient race of snake-people who want to overthrow humanity and regain their place as the dominant species of the world (think Conan's serpent-men or DnD's yuan-ti, except dumber). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:29:39 No.67238551 Anonymous Sat 09 Mar 2019 10:43:56 No.106332285 Report Quoted By: >>106332392 >>106332500 >>67231534 11 new people want to get into cobra, there is only space for one of them, who is chosen? >>106321330 I know very little about the Gl Joe series, having grown up too late for the original series and too early for any of the reboots. I have seen parts and pieces of the comics and Resolute. Just by what little I have pieced together, though, I think I know how a Cobra organization could pull together in a 'realistic' GI Joe series. Pardon the autism. >Expelled Interpol field agent, fully trained in Interpol actions and procedures, highly skilled with a .45, speaks 3 languages, male. >Long-career low-hierarchy triad assassin trying to break into the big time, 5 martial arts, Asian female. First, let's talk about the choice of organization name: Cobra. Sounds obviously sketchy, right? Perfect for a bunch of pure evil terrorists. Nobody could really see themselves as a Cobra and in the right, right? Well... Cobras are known for eating other snakes, and king cobras are famous for defending their young ferociously, being notable as the ONLY snakes to do so. Combine that with their iconic ability to raise themselves to face humans and their venom and they >De-licensed medical surgeon, 17 year career, de-licensed for human experiments, some ties to the CIA, male. perfectly represent a group trying to defend themselves from the insidious and poisonous. Cobras are powerful and terrifying, making the Don't Tread On Me rattlesnake look almost childish in comparison. Which gives us a hint as to who Cobra might attract to be part of their 'quiver': Military veterans and other disenfranchised experts. >Advertising executive with many business skills, 3 languages, ties to the Italian and Russian mafia, male. >Kyrgyz cosmonaut, fully trained in cosmonaut procedures and operations, speaks 2 languages, built a laser gun from parts in a junkyard, male. Imagine this: A former infantry officer inherits his father's used car dealership and plans to live off his 20+ years of service and the dealership income. Except he sells a bad car and gets slammed with a massive tort case when the machine fails and kills all but one member of the family driving in it. More than that, his brother was driving drunk and caused the accident in question, dying in the process. The lawyer for the family plays that s--- up as hard as he >Demolition specialist, previously a member of ISIS, female from azerbaijan, speaks 2 languages. possibly can and the future Commander loses everything. His son can get by on the GI bill, at least, but his wife leaves him and Commander goes into a death spiral that ends in him rounding up a bunch of his old buddies who have similar stories of being boned by The Man. (CONT) >Sport-banned Thai Kickboxer, close-quarters-combat specialist, ties to the Thai mafia, male. 8 feet tall and benches over 500 pounds. >Sport-banned Sumo Wrestler, previously a yakuza bodyguard, highly trained in many combat skills, but bad fashion taste (Hawaii shirts), Japanese male. >Banned-from-practice psychologist, 16 year long career, female, highly trained, from Israel. View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Ł GI Joe.png, 143KIB, 828x966 >Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male. Anonymous Sat 09 Mar 2019 10:50:41 No.106332392 Report Quoted By: >>106332500 >Ousted CEO guilty of fraud extortion and embezzlement, a friend of CC in previous life (before cobra existed), speaks 7 languages, male from Namibia. >>106332285 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:44:01 No.67238750 Commander rallies these men and women and uses rhetoric involving the not-quite-incorrect statements of internal corruption in the US Govt and the untouchability of corporations. He also contacts members of other militaries, PMCS, and anyone else willing to listen to help him form Cobra. Cobra's stated mission is to defend the common man from those that would take from him what's rightfully his, and to hold accountable those that skim the law for their own gain. To this end, Cobra Commander stages robberies of money, equipment, and identity, using all of these as motivation for the aimless to join his cause. >>67238551 The sumo wrestler. Nobody else has a hint of a wacky standout gimmick and he's got "fat guy in giant Hawaiian shirt". That's a start of something marketable. After an initial investigation reveals one of the weapon and vehicle robberies was an inside job within the Department of Defense, nations worldwide are spooked the f--- out and order a full audit of all their armed forces. This actually works in Cobra's favor as perfectly functional, if not honest, soldiers get handed pink slips as a result and some decide to join COBRA out of spite. The unemployed, especially young and disillusioned men, bolster Cobra's ranks out of frustration or in spite. U.S. attempts to silence the new 'Cobra Wave' only make its defenders more virulent. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:47:18 No.67238787 >>67238750 Cosmonaut can probably get in, too, if he's willing to wear a Cobra-themed spacesuit 24/7. Cobra recruits from all walks of life and becomes increasingly ambitious and zealous in its goals. Soon its very existence is considered the foremost threat to U.S. national security. Delta Force is initially called on against Cobra when the latter appears, but as the threat increases, 'Special Counter-Terrorist Group Delta' becomes a joint special operations unit of its own. Members are hand-picked from all services and scrutinized to the highest degree. Civilians are also recruited for non-combat purposes, but are subject to even more rigorous screening. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:54:51 No.67238891 >>67238750 >>67238787 I like your answers, but Saturday morning logic aside, l'm trying to figure out who would realistically get picked out for acceptance. The stage is set for a daring American special missions force whose purpose is to defend human freedom from Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world... Do you see any of them as redundant or just not really that useful? Yo Joe! O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:00:32 No.67238964 >>67238750 >>67238787 They only need a wacky gimmic if they're named characters. If they're generic faceless soldiers then combat performance and willingness to follow a crazy snake-themed supervillain for money (and having a law degree if you want to get into the Crimson Guard) is all that matters. If you want to be anything but a another something-Viper you better start working on a gimmick, though. Even Cobra's accountant dresses up as a bird, because apparently that was the best gimmic he could come up with (or Cobra is so desperate for a proper accountant that they hire the bird-furry who shows up to work wearing his fetish gear). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:00:51 No.67238968 Cobra Commander is literally you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. He was ready to start a grassroots campaign about the nonsense with way Vietnam Vets were being treated and how the American Dream turned into the American Nightmare. And then his brother dies. And something inside him snaps. It's how he started to recruit people that were in the same place he was. Zartan. The Drednoks. Then he found Doctor Mindbender, a dentist that wished to excise all his dark thoughts and instead removed all his goodness. Mindbender is how CC gets most of his loyalty from his grunts, by the way. O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)12:56:48 No.67289703 >>67286251 >It makes me wonder how anyone with a higher education or is on the same social/economic level as those of the Crimson Guard would ever join Cobra. Do they ever explain this? .money? power? The same reason 99% of people go into politics? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:51:41 No.67239582 >>67235042 well, they built a teleporter, to move troops as opposed to revolutionizing transportation of goods and services... they built a couple different weather control machines to create super storms and hold the world hostage... they created a serum that would gigantify crops for reasons... they cloned dinosaurs because, ummm... O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)11:47:42 No.67288869 >>67286251 Recruit talented young men that would not be able to get that higher education without the financial aid that Cobra provides. With their financial empire it also gives these people legitimate and well paying jobs and a route for advancement in these companies. They don't need to start out as wealthy and respected, Cobra can make them that later. I'm starting to think Cobra was kinda dumb. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:56:29 No.67239642 O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)12:55:46 No.67289685 >>67234974 oh, and I forgot, Dr. Mindbender was a dentist! looking at the bills those guys charge, he probably supplied a HISS tank or 3. >>67233970 >And yet they can't win Look at the world around you. ok, so, yes he DID try to create a new method of pain relief to use during dental procedures, and YES, he did test it on himself first, and yes, it DID technically drive him mad... but it did provide Cobra with their finest brainwashing device, way better than the one developed by Dr. Venom Tell me Cobra didn't win and you aren't living in the aftermath O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)14:46:48 No.67240219 >>67238551 I went ahead and put together some info for each of these, in case anyone is thinking of using them for a campaign or a session. >Expelled Agent >Codename: Glad Stone >Function: Internal-to-cobra Secret Police member >Languages spoken: French, Arabic, Russian >Gimmick: Black suit white shirt black tie red beret. >Quote: "You are no longer needed." -gunshot- >Triad assassin >Codename: Golden Hawk >Function: Anti-air / Anti-ground ASsassin >Martial arts: Eagle Kung Fu, Crane Kung Fu, Hawk Kung Fu, Bird Kung Fu, Ninjitsu >Gimmick: Uses a gatchaman style cape to glide & a golden identity concealing ninja suit >Quote: "Woosh. You died." >De-licensed surgeon >Code Name: The Skull >Function: Back field staff member >Science achievements: Strength enhancing surgeries, Cybernetic implant surgeries, insanity causing dart pistol >Gimmick: To prove his cybernetics work he used them on himself, augmenting his eyes, ears, nose, lips, tongue, fingertips, and toes. This made his hair fall out and his scalp turn white. Quote: "It's alive! oops! not anymore. (maniacal laugh)," >Advertising exec >Code name: Cross Word >Function: Income acquirement >Method: Usually subliminal images in advertising blitzes for cobra shell companies, also bank heists, insurance fraud, arson fraud, mail fraud, and money laundering. >Gimmick: Dresses like a game show host, glitter covered jacket is actually anti-laser armor, show-offish tie has a concealed laser targeting marker at the end, lapel is a concealed gas sprayer, sunglasses are X-ray specs, shoes have pop-out toe knives, and pants blow up like a giant smoke bomb if lit on fire. >Quote: "Gooood luck, Youuuu'lII NEED it!" 1 of probably 2 or 3. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:02:21 No.67240426 File: gi_joe_tactics.jpg (545 KB, 2337x1558) >>67238551 >Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male. muh realism-wise, this guy is the best, he is the most likely to survive whatever selection or training Cobra might want of him, really is the closest to this MGS3 quote: >You know, we could use an infiltration unit like FOX in the army. Someone like him to handle our top-secret missions for us. A man who combines the qualities of a soldier and an agent. he also can be picked because this is a patriotic toy series, which could use some token yellow peril bad guy in the current year O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:07:58 No.67240482 I'm kind of surprized that given the 80 and 90s nostalgia and the seeming return of the trend to make a tabletop RPG of just about anything, we haven't seen a GI JOE RPG. I mean, it pretty much writes itself. The comic and the cartoon usually featured small team of Joes (suitable for a player group size) conducting special missions, and you could easily write a system of making your own Joes, rolling up some stats, giving them a primary and secondary specialization like the file cards always had, and handing them some wargear (i.e. the equipment the toy would've come with). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:14:09 No.67240570 >>67240219 >Kyrgyz cosmonaut >Code name: Slow Burn >Cosmonaut training: Rocket-crew training, aming and disarming missile launching orbiters, nuclear fuel management and allocation, wielding machine gun & knife in open space, wielding machine gun & knife in low-g environment. >Function: Space operations, laser and nuclear weapons >Gimmick: Suffered radiation burns on 73% of his body, wears a heavily modified space-suit as all purpose all weather body armor. This space-suit armor once survived a land-mine blowing up less than 1 foot away with very, very minimal damage other than throwing Slow Burn across the room really hard. >Quote: "No human being has known the pain I have known, there is no form of coercion that will work on me." >Demolition specialist >Code name: Sand-storm >Function: Battlefield sapper >Specializations: Building implosion, bridge implosion, manufacturing land mine, deploying land mine, disarming land mine, manufacturing suitcase bomb. >Gimmick: She wears a burga that is combined anti-bullet and anti-bomb blast armor. >Quote: "I had a blast, didn't you?" -explosion- >Sport banned kickboxer >Code name: Tiger Ne (sounds similar to 'knee') >Function: Soldier training, some combat operations >Specializations: Unarmed vs armed close quarters combat, armed vs armed close quarters combat, Muay Boran training, Muay Thai training >Gimmick: He looks extremely similar to Sagat, the main differences are; no scar, no missing eye, hair, and his name is stated to be Kiet Klahan Ne at one point. >Quote: "Death." -in answer to a person's 'who is that' question during his introductory scene >Sport-banned sumo wrestler >Code name: Pine Apple >Function: Grenadier, close quarters combat, bodyguard >Specializations: Sumo Wrestler training, Judo Training, Grenadier training, Stick fighting training >Gimmick: He wears outlandishly colorful attire and usually Hawaii shirts. He was born in Hawaii, despite his Japanese racial origin. >Quote: "Have a knuckle sandwich." O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:34:13 No.67240841 >>67240570 >Banned from practice psychologist >Code name: Silver Star >Function: Income generation, some psychiatric work >Usual means: Suicide cults, subliminal images in advertisements and other broadcasts, homicidal cults, hypnosis fraud, grafting, bribery, money laundering, sleeper agents, buying and selling psycho-pharmacological drugs. >Gimmick: She dresses like a 'crystal energies' weirdo sci-fi villain and wears a headband with a large silver star in the center. >Quote: "Oy such a deal I have for you!" >>67240426 >Expelled red guard >Code name: Red Mountain >Function: Battlefield soldier / anti-special ops >Specializations: Secret service training (Chinese), many heavy and light weaponry trainings >Gimmick: He wears a green pantsuit that is secretly anti-blade / anti-bomb blast armor and very seldom talks. >Quote: "A traitor's death." -said after roasting someone with a flame thrower, one of the few times red mountain ever talked 'onscreen' as it were. >>67240570 >Ousted CEO >Code name: Count Bancs >Languages: Farsi, Italian, Spanish, Hindi, Namib, Greek, Tamil >Function: Income generation >Usual means: Head of a regional-level consortium of mercenary specialists known as Zanzibar Land, operating illegal mines (as in digging stuff mines), gold dealing, arms dealing, oil dealing, high finance scams, high finance graft and laundering. >Quote: "You think I became the big boss just by luck?" O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:37:41 No.67240888 O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)22:57:24 No.67299131 File: 1543229281538.jpg (175 KB, 1208x592) >>67240841 >>67240570 >>67240219 Love these; thanks a lot for writing them up! I'm surprised there isn't a surplus of GI Joe/MGS crossovers, what with the obvious similarities, the whole snake thing and super soldier secret agent organized terrorist s---. Cobra is basically Outer Heaven. >pro-military group funded by what seems to be endless cash, and backed by no country in particular- a true rogue entity, almost a nation in itself >essentially a terrorist organization, but only identified as such by first world governments NTA but I also feel that Slow Burn and Pine Apple would be the top recruits. >bafflingly massive employment roll, hundreds of grunt workers/mechanics/engineers etc. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:37:52 No.67240891 >>67231534 Cobra Commander's money schemes were the only times he was successful, if he needed to pull Cobra's ass out of bankruptcy.

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Greentext Stories - /tg/ writes a GI Joe reboot part 1 of 2

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(..).jpg (222 KB, 1162x1600) O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:35:20 No.67231534 How does cobra maintain any cash flow with them constantly being defeated by GI Joe. Is cobra commander some mystical mage or something O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)02:32:09 No.67233757 >>67231534 >maintain any cash flow The Baroness sells her bathwater. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:36:52 No.67231551 >>67231534 Destro is a weapons dealer, a prolific one at that. I'm sure they have other forms of income on top of that. The Joes rarely, if ever, interfere in the small-time weapons sales. At least to my knowledge. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:38:07 No.67231568 It's a cult-like organization which has their fingers dipped into all manner of things. It's only when they get blatant that the Joes shut them down. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:40:18 No.67231588 File: Backbreaker_thumb_05_SITE.jpg (41 KB, 500x281) O Anonymous 07/15/19(Mon)02:54:33 No.67266978 >>67231534 Videogame microtransactions, >>67234974 >Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities. Well yeah, obviously. I guess thats what happens when an apparently super genius and super charismatic individual like CC mentioned here >>67231594 and here >>67232540 gets deeply disillusioned with society at large. Sure, Cobra Commander has accumulate a greater sum of power and control over the system to reasonably claim he rules it, but he also hates and would rather terrorize the world than rule, so that's what he does. He disdains and spits upon the very idea of legitimacy, he wants to be an eternal and irremovable thorn in the side of humanity, not its dear leader. obviously. O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:40:50 No.67231594 >>67231534 IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire? O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:56:38 No.67231771 >>67231594 >got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way Didn't his brother getting drafted into Nam and then returning with PTSD and being treated like crap by the government and public have something to do with it? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:15:06 No.67232540 >>67231594 >IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire? Yes, and he did it in less than a year IIRC O Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri)22:45:27 No.67231653 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)21:39:31 No.67246500 File: 1555100981244.png (154 KB, 340x335) >>67231588 Not just this, but also television, books, fast food, beer, soda, gasoline and, most heinous of all, miniature wargaming. >>67231594 >when you hate your job so goddamn much you start an international terrorist organization O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:08:17 No.67232489 File: captains log.jpg (27 KB, 456x810) >>67231534 Cobra is funded by the US government to carry out attacks that give America justification to invade countries to "Increase stability" O Anonymous 07/14/19(Sun)00:16:00 No.67248499 >>67247271 In my case it's more a matter if "F--- this job. I'll put a blue sack over my head, go with a serpent themed organization with all kinds of weirdos who get their asses beat by other weirdos who claim to work for the US government or whatever, rather than stay here another day!" O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:08:39 No.67232493 >>67231534 Cobra is the 'hit squad' for the illuminati. Cobra is used by them to create chaos as part of their general agenda for the world. One of the perks of being illuminati stooges is infinite money. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)00:40:28 No.67232801 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)21:42:44 No.67246551 >>67231534 >>67232801 >GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra. Destro runs a major arms manufacturing company on the scale of Boeing, Lockheed, and Remington/Springfield/Smith & Wesson/Ruger all combined. I mean, the Saudis did 9/11 and Riyadh isn't a smouldering radioactive ruin, either. There's real life precedent. The Twins run a major corporation that rakes in billions in profit. O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)08:48:17 No.67286974 GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra. >>67232801 Destro sells arms to the US through shell companies, who equip a special mission force to always be ready to respond to Cobras threat. O beepysheep 07/13/19(Sat)02:31:41 No.67233754 >>67232801 Cobra is the military industrial complex's false flag unit that creates a need for all these weapons. it's funny because at one point the twins just cancel their loans and support for cobra, and the whole thing just implodes. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)02:52:13 No.67233912 >>67231534 It's actually explained in the comics. They have shell companies that funnel them money through nearly untraceable means, as well as people infiltrated into various large companies and government organizations that can discreetly move money to them and hide the paper trail. One of the requirements for joining the Crimson Guard, Cobra's elite troops, is to have a degree in law or financing specifically because the CGs also double as their elite spies and infiltrators. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)03:07:15 No.67234047 >>67233782 GI Joes has a suprizingly deep lore in the comics, at least (the TV series..not so much). The guy who wrote them, Larry Hama, is a Vietnam vet so he knows military stuff, and wanted to write the comics with proper character development and running plotlines instead of just going where the fence was lowest and doing a bunch of toy commercials (although it's often obvious where the higher ups told him he had to somehow insert the newest toy into the comic, whether it makes any sense or not; I think the best example is Cobra Commander showing up driving the Pogo Ballistic Pod thing for all of two pages before it gets blown up). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)03:12:32 No.67234097 >>67233970 Isn't one of the other running themes about Cobra is that while GI Joe always manages to f--- up all his big plans, they can never catch all the little plans he's got going, which always end up growing into more big plans? Like, GI Joe is always on the back foot. They have to win every single time, while Cobra's only got to win once. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:22:25 No.67234974 >>67232540 AND Destro is like majorly rich, the Baroness is also fairly well off, AND rules a chunk of land. Plus Cobra under their shell companies Arbco and the like, make a ton of money. Tomax and Xamot are not just the leaders of the Crimson Guard, they are also the co-CEOS of many of the businesses that Cobra runs. Frankly Cobra has enough fingers in enough pies that if the corporations Cobra owns were taken down they would cause the economic collapse of the US and several other nations as wellI. Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:29:01 No.67235029 >>67232801 Destro's wealth wouldn't directly benefit Cobra, though, as he's an independent agent. He owns an arms manufactoring company and is unscrupulous enough to sell weapons to anyone with the cash, including international terrorist organizations. And since that makes him the only major arms manufacturer willing to sell directly to Cobra, Cobra ends up being his biggest customer. He maintains close ties to Cobra because of that, but Cobra still has to pay him for all the weapons he procures for them. Eventually Destro even builds his own private military force (the Iron Grenadiers) and reduces his ties with Cobra. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)05:31:53 No.67235042 >>67234974 What exactly do Cobra terrorist ops DO anyway? Like, in the 1980's GI Joe Movie there's this huge battle between them and the Joes over the statue of liberty. Like, what were they trying to do? Steal it? Blow it up? >>67275274 That would be pretty funny if collateral damage was actually Cobra's primary goal since let's be honest there are much easier ways to destroy the Statue of Liberty than jetpacking their own Commander in with a ridiculous time bomb. They could have just used a rocket and killed all the Joe's conveniently waiting in the torch. Or since they had a ship overhead just dropped bombs. It's too easy to imagine some senator saying, "Well sure the GI Joe team defeated Cobra but look at how much damage was caused by blowing up that ship. It'll take millions of dollars and years to clean up all this wreckage, not to mention the environmental impact! We need to rein in these O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)10:54:37 No.67237631 >>67232540 I love that in every single continuity except the original cartoon, Cobra Commander is legitimately threatening and terrifying. antics!" And the f----- probably wouldn't even be on Cobra's payroll either! I also loved it when GI Joe Resolute implied it took place in the same continuity as the original cartoons and the Commander was play-acting being a moron back in the day trying to motivate his underlings, but finally got sick of their s---, decided to get serious, and blew up Moscow just to prove that he could. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-MbCfvP7c >"And this is how I win the world..this juncture, of course, is usually where the wheels come off...but not this time. Cutting the traitor Major Blood's heart in half right here, right in this room, should have gotten the point across. It suited me, once, to appear weak and cowardly, because it motivated you "people" to think. But today..is a new day. There will be no moves to take over my command, there will be no mistakes - there will be none of your CRAP! NONE OF IT! Work with me, and I will give you the world in less than twenty-four hours. Work against me..and I will gut you like a fish." O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:02:30 No.67237722 >>67237631 Actually now that I think on it, whenever Cobra Commander himself came up with a plan in the original cartoon he tended to almost win, and the Joes frequently pulled victory out from their ass through blind luck rather than actual skill. Original Cobra Commander also listened to his underlings and took their advice into consideration, rewarded loyalty, and didn't tend to punish underlings for failures that they had no actual control over. He was also a MUCH better leader than Serpentor because he had a much better grasp of strategy and logistics (Serpentor was just "Attack! Attack! Attack!") and always made sure to incorporate a way out into his plans, never overcommitting Cobra's forces. And Serpentor never listened to anyone unless they already agreed with him, and sometimes not even then, utterly convinced of his own superiority. Cobra Commander was evil, but he was a pretty good leader. Y'know, within the context of Saturday Morning Cartoons. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:10:43 No.67237804 >>67231534 What the f--- is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:17:09 No.67237864 >>67237804 Everyone gets a snake motif O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:29:41 No.67237976 >>67237804 >What the f--- is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning? Destabilize the world powers so Cobra-La can rise up from under the planet's surface and slaughter the monkeys that laid claim to their world. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)11:43:25 No.67238093 >>67237804 In the comic Cobra Commander was a fascist wannabe-dictator who wants to impose his will on the rest of the world. He had a very social darwinist ideology where those with power had the right to do anything they could get away with, and one should seek to gain power through any mean necessary. In the cartoon his motivation was never defined beyond being evil and wanting to take over the world, except in the s----- movie where they made him a member of an ancient race of snake-people who want to overthrow humanity and regain their place as the dominant species of the world (think Conan's serpent-men or DnD's yuan-ti, except dumber). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:29:39 No.67238551 Anonymous Sat 09 Mar 2019 10:43:56 No.106332285 Report Quoted By: >>106332392 >>106332500 >>67231534 11 new people want to get into cobra, there is only space for one of them, who is chosen? >>106321330 I know very little about the Gl Joe series, having grown up too late for the original series and too early for any of the reboots. I have seen parts and pieces of the comics and Resolute. Just by what little I have pieced together, though, I think I know how a Cobra organization could pull together in a 'realistic' GI Joe series. Pardon the autism. >Expelled Interpol field agent, fully trained in Interpol actions and procedures, highly skilled with a .45, speaks 3 languages, male. >Long-career low-hierarchy triad assassin trying to break into the big time, 5 martial arts, Asian female. First, let's talk about the choice of organization name: Cobra. Sounds obviously sketchy, right? Perfect for a bunch of pure evil terrorists. Nobody could really see themselves as a Cobra and in the right, right? Well... Cobras are known for eating other snakes, and king cobras are famous for defending their young ferociously, being notable as the ONLY snakes to do so. Combine that with their iconic ability to raise themselves to face humans and their venom and they >De-licensed medical surgeon, 17 year career, de-licensed for human experiments, some ties to the CIA, male. perfectly represent a group trying to defend themselves from the insidious and poisonous. Cobras are powerful and terrifying, making the Don't Tread On Me rattlesnake look almost childish in comparison. Which gives us a hint as to who Cobra might attract to be part of their 'quiver': Military veterans and other disenfranchised experts. >Advertising executive with many business skills, 3 languages, ties to the Italian and Russian mafia, male. >Kyrgyz cosmonaut, fully trained in cosmonaut procedures and operations, speaks 2 languages, built a laser gun from parts in a junkyard, male. Imagine this: A former infantry officer inherits his father's used car dealership and plans to live off his 20+ years of service and the dealership income. Except he sells a bad car and gets slammed with a massive tort case when the machine fails and kills all but one member of the family driving in it. More than that, his brother was driving drunk and caused the accident in question, dying in the process. The lawyer for the family plays that s--- up as hard as he >Demolition specialist, previously a member of ISIS, female from azerbaijan, speaks 2 languages. possibly can and the future Commander loses everything. His son can get by on the GI bill, at least, but his wife leaves him and Commander goes into a death spiral that ends in him rounding up a bunch of his old buddies who have similar stories of being boned by The Man. (CONT) >Sport-banned Thai Kickboxer, close-quarters-combat specialist, ties to the Thai mafia, male. 8 feet tall and benches over 500 pounds. >Sport-banned Sumo Wrestler, previously a yakuza bodyguard, highly trained in many combat skills, but bad fashion taste (Hawaii shirts), Japanese male. >Banned-from-practice psychologist, 16 year long career, female, highly trained, from Israel. View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Ł GI Joe.png, 143KIB, 828x966 >Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male. Anonymous Sat 09 Mar 2019 10:50:41 No.106332392 Report Quoted By: >>106332500 >Ousted CEO guilty of fraud extortion and embezzlement, a friend of CC in previous life (before cobra existed), speaks 7 languages, male from Namibia. >>106332285 O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:44:01 No.67238750 Commander rallies these men and women and uses rhetoric involving the not-quite-incorrect statements of internal corruption in the US Govt and the untouchability of corporations. He also contacts members of other militaries, PMCS, and anyone else willing to listen to help him form Cobra. Cobra's stated mission is to defend the common man from those that would take from him what's rightfully his, and to hold accountable those that skim the law for their own gain. To this end, Cobra Commander stages robberies of money, equipment, and identity, using all of these as motivation for the aimless to join his cause. >>67238551 The sumo wrestler. Nobody else has a hint of a wacky standout gimmick and he's got "fat guy in giant Hawaiian shirt". That's a start of something marketable. After an initial investigation reveals one of the weapon and vehicle robberies was an inside job within the Department of Defense, nations worldwide are spooked the f--- out and order a full audit of all their armed forces. This actually works in Cobra's favor as perfectly functional, if not honest, soldiers get handed pink slips as a result and some decide to join COBRA out of spite. The unemployed, especially young and disillusioned men, bolster Cobra's ranks out of frustration or in spite. U.S. attempts to silence the new 'Cobra Wave' only make its defenders more virulent. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:47:18 No.67238787 >>67238750 Cosmonaut can probably get in, too, if he's willing to wear a Cobra-themed spacesuit 24/7. Cobra recruits from all walks of life and becomes increasingly ambitious and zealous in its goals. Soon its very existence is considered the foremost threat to U.S. national security. Delta Force is initially called on against Cobra when the latter appears, but as the threat increases, 'Special Counter-Terrorist Group Delta' becomes a joint special operations unit of its own. Members are hand-picked from all services and scrutinized to the highest degree. Civilians are also recruited for non-combat purposes, but are subject to even more rigorous screening. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)12:54:51 No.67238891 >>67238750 >>67238787 I like your answers, but Saturday morning logic aside, l'm trying to figure out who would realistically get picked out for acceptance. The stage is set for a daring American special missions force whose purpose is to defend human freedom from Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world... Do you see any of them as redundant or just not really that useful? Yo Joe! O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:00:32 No.67238964 >>67238750 >>67238787 They only need a wacky gimmic if they're named characters. If they're generic faceless soldiers then combat performance and willingness to follow a crazy snake-themed supervillain for money (and having a law degree if you want to get into the Crimson Guard) is all that matters. If you want to be anything but a another something-Viper you better start working on a gimmick, though. Even Cobra's accountant dresses up as a bird, because apparently that was the best gimmic he could come up with (or Cobra is so desperate for a proper accountant that they hire the bird-furry who shows up to work wearing his fetish gear). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:00:51 No.67238968 Cobra Commander is literally you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. He was ready to start a grassroots campaign about the nonsense with way Vietnam Vets were being treated and how the American Dream turned into the American Nightmare. And then his brother dies. And something inside him snaps. It's how he started to recruit people that were in the same place he was. Zartan. The Drednoks. Then he found Doctor Mindbender, a dentist that wished to excise all his dark thoughts and instead removed all his goodness. Mindbender is how CC gets most of his loyalty from his grunts, by the way. O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)12:56:48 No.67289703 >>67286251 >It makes me wonder how anyone with a higher education or is on the same social/economic level as those of the Crimson Guard would ever join Cobra. Do they ever explain this? .money? power? The same reason 99% of people go into politics? O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:51:41 No.67239582 >>67235042 well, they built a teleporter, to move troops as opposed to revolutionizing transportation of goods and services... they built a couple different weather control machines to create super storms and hold the world hostage... they created a serum that would gigantify crops for reasons... they cloned dinosaurs because, ummm... O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)11:47:42 No.67288869 >>67286251 Recruit talented young men that would not be able to get that higher education without the financial aid that Cobra provides. With their financial empire it also gives these people legitimate and well paying jobs and a route for advancement in these companies. They don't need to start out as wealthy and respected, Cobra can make them that later. I'm starting to think Cobra was kinda dumb. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)13:56:29 No.67239642 O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)12:55:46 No.67289685 >>67234974 oh, and I forgot, Dr. Mindbender was a dentist! looking at the bills those guys charge, he probably supplied a HISS tank or 3. >>67233970 >And yet they can't win Look at the world around you. ok, so, yes he DID try to create a new method of pain relief to use during dental procedures, and YES, he did test it on himself first, and yes, it DID technically drive him mad... but it did provide Cobra with their finest brainwashing device, way better than the one developed by Dr. Venom Tell me Cobra didn't win and you aren't living in the aftermath O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)14:46:48 No.67240219 >>67238551 I went ahead and put together some info for each of these, in case anyone is thinking of using them for a campaign or a session. >Expelled Agent >Codename: Glad Stone >Function: Internal-to-cobra Secret Police member >Languages spoken: French, Arabic, Russian >Gimmick: Black suit white shirt black tie red beret. >Quote: "You are no longer needed." -gunshot- >Triad assassin >Codename: Golden Hawk >Function: Anti-air / Anti-ground ASsassin >Martial arts: Eagle Kung Fu, Crane Kung Fu, Hawk Kung Fu, Bird Kung Fu, Ninjitsu >Gimmick: Uses a gatchaman style cape to glide & a golden identity concealing ninja suit >Quote: "Woosh. You died." >De-licensed surgeon >Code Name: The Skull >Function: Back field staff member >Science achievements: Strength enhancing surgeries, Cybernetic implant surgeries, insanity causing dart pistol >Gimmick: To prove his cybernetics work he used them on himself, augmenting his eyes, ears, nose, lips, tongue, fingertips, and toes. This made his hair fall out and his scalp turn white. Quote: "It's alive! oops! not anymore. (maniacal laugh)," >Advertising exec >Code name: Cross Word >Function: Income acquirement >Method: Usually subliminal images in advertising blitzes for cobra shell companies, also bank heists, insurance fraud, arson fraud, mail fraud, and money laundering. >Gimmick: Dresses like a game show host, glitter covered jacket is actually anti-laser armor, show-offish tie has a concealed laser targeting marker at the end, lapel is a concealed gas sprayer, sunglasses are X-ray specs, shoes have pop-out toe knives, and pants blow up like a giant smoke bomb if lit on fire. >Quote: "Gooood luck, Youuuu'lII NEED it!" 1 of probably 2 or 3. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:02:21 No.67240426 File: gi_joe_tactics.jpg (545 KB, 2337x1558) >>67238551 >Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male. muh realism-wise, this guy is the best, he is the most likely to survive whatever selection or training Cobra might want of him, really is the closest to this MGS3 quote: >You know, we could use an infiltration unit like FOX in the army. Someone like him to handle our top-secret missions for us. A man who combines the qualities of a soldier and an agent. he also can be picked because this is a patriotic toy series, which could use some token yellow peril bad guy in the current year O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:07:58 No.67240482 I'm kind of surprized that given the 80 and 90s nostalgia and the seeming return of the trend to make a tabletop RPG of just about anything, we haven't seen a GI JOE RPG. I mean, it pretty much writes itself. The comic and the cartoon usually featured small team of Joes (suitable for a player group size) conducting special missions, and you could easily write a system of making your own Joes, rolling up some stats, giving them a primary and secondary specialization like the file cards always had, and handing them some wargear (i.e. the equipment the toy would've come with). O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:14:09 No.67240570 >>67240219 >Kyrgyz cosmonaut >Code name: Slow Burn >Cosmonaut training: Rocket-crew training, aming and disarming missile launching orbiters, nuclear fuel management and allocation, wielding machine gun & knife in open space, wielding machine gun & knife in low-g environment. >Function: Space operations, laser and nuclear weapons >Gimmick: Suffered radiation burns on 73% of his body, wears a heavily modified space-suit as all purpose all weather body armor. This space-suit armor once survived a land-mine blowing up less than 1 foot away with very, very minimal damage other than throwing Slow Burn across the room really hard. >Quote: "No human being has known the pain I have known, there is no form of coercion that will work on me." >Demolition specialist >Code name: Sand-storm >Function: Battlefield sapper >Specializations: Building implosion, bridge implosion, manufacturing land mine, deploying land mine, disarming land mine, manufacturing suitcase bomb. >Gimmick: She wears a burga that is combined anti-bullet and anti-bomb blast armor. >Quote: "I had a blast, didn't you?" -explosion- >Sport banned kickboxer >Code name: Tiger Ne (sounds similar to 'knee') >Function: Soldier training, some combat operations >Specializations: Unarmed vs armed close quarters combat, armed vs armed close quarters combat, Muay Boran training, Muay Thai training >Gimmick: He looks extremely similar to Sagat, the main differences are; no scar, no missing eye, hair, and his name is stated to be Kiet Klahan Ne at one point. >Quote: "Death." -in answer to a person's 'who is that' question during his introductory scene >Sport-banned sumo wrestler >Code name: Pine Apple >Function: Grenadier, close quarters combat, bodyguard >Specializations: Sumo Wrestler training, Judo Training, Grenadier training, Stick fighting training >Gimmick: He wears outlandishly colorful attire and usually Hawaii shirts. He was born in Hawaii, despite his Japanese racial origin. >Quote: "Have a knuckle sandwich." O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:34:13 No.67240841 >>67240570 >Banned from practice psychologist >Code name: Silver Star >Function: Income generation, some psychiatric work >Usual means: Suicide cults, subliminal images in advertisements and other broadcasts, homicidal cults, hypnosis fraud, grafting, bribery, money laundering, sleeper agents, buying and selling psycho-pharmacological drugs. >Gimmick: She dresses like a 'crystal energies' weirdo sci-fi villain and wears a headband with a large silver star in the center. >Quote: "Oy such a deal I have for you!" >>67240426 >Expelled red guard >Code name: Red Mountain >Function: Battlefield soldier / anti-special ops >Specializations: Secret service training (Chinese), many heavy and light weaponry trainings >Gimmick: He wears a green pantsuit that is secretly anti-blade / anti-bomb blast armor and very seldom talks. >Quote: "A traitor's death." -said after roasting someone with a flame thrower, one of the few times red mountain ever talked 'onscreen' as it were. >>67240570 >Ousted CEO >Code name: Count Bancs >Languages: Farsi, Italian, Spanish, Hindi, Namib, Greek, Tamil >Function: Income generation >Usual means: Head of a regional-level consortium of mercenary specialists known as Zanzibar Land, operating illegal mines (as in digging stuff mines), gold dealing, arms dealing, oil dealing, high finance scams, high finance graft and laundering. >Quote: "You think I became the big boss just by luck?" O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:37:41 No.67240888 O Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)22:57:24 No.67299131 File: 1543229281538.jpg (175 KB, 1208x592) >>67240841 >>67240570 >>67240219 Love these; thanks a lot for writing them up! I'm surprised there isn't a surplus of GI Joe/MGS crossovers, what with the obvious similarities, the whole snake thing and super soldier secret agent organized terrorist s---. Cobra is basically Outer Heaven. >pro-military group funded by what seems to be endless cash, and backed by no country in particular- a true rogue entity, almost a nation in itself >essentially a terrorist organization, but only identified as such by first world governments NTA but I also feel that Slow Burn and Pine Apple would be the top recruits. >bafflingly massive employment roll, hundreds of grunt workers/mechanics/engineers etc. O Anonymous 07/13/19(Sat)15:37:52 No.67240891 >>67231534 Cobra Commander's money schemes were the only times he was successful, if he needed to pull Cobra's ass out of bankruptcy.

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