RPC-940-J | SCP Foundation | Know Your Meme

Zippity zoppity yippity yay, this is RPC- 940-J! 28 At the RPC Authority, we're going over anomalies today, with this one's Registered Phenomena Code being 940-J! As long as you'll follow his rules, 940's real mellow, and that is why his object class is Beta-Yellow! Now that that's settled, despite him looking quite shattered, you'll be relieved to know that sentience is his only hazard. To keep 940 contained, you must introduce into your communication the style of Seuss! How to describe it? It couldn't be easier! It looks like an owl (except much freakier) It's a little wood statue you could fit on a dresser that listens about itself, from whom or wherever. It'll hear you anywhere, from your foyer, from your bedside, from your basement (trust us, we've tried) and if you talk about it in a way that's not quite right, then boy oh boy, you'll be in for a night!

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Addendum 7143.2: Personnel Personal Testimony Note: The following testimony was gathered during an anonymous survey to ascertain the overall staff opinion of RPC-7143-J. Certain portions have been expunged for the sake of decency. Names have been included to further shame those who might have illicit thoughts about the beautiful and graceful RPC-7143-J. Agent Romerville: Yeah they're pretty sweet. I see him sometimes winking at me down the hall. Think they're tryin' to get at me. Dr. Cornwall: You mean RPC-7143-J? Yeah, I call her Stacy. I know she wants me. She plays pretty hard to get, but she glistens a little differently for me, you know? Dr. Hughes: Oh yeah, I'd really one of those Latch Escutcheon plates EXTREMELY NSFW FILE PHOTO from the pyrotechnics lab and just then let him Note: Data expunged, h--------. What the f--- is wrong with you people? -Dr. Celf and then take Researcher Axwell: I invited him out for drinks last week. Kind of gave me the cold shoulder, but he's pretty far out of my league anyway. Pretty dreamy though, don't you think? Knob ↓ Researcher Chambers: I would f--- the s--- out of that doorknob. Dr. Lee: I've been working on my pickup lines, here, listen! "Hey baby, why don't you and me go turn in for the night?" Get it? Turn in? Because... turning? Guys?

GoliathBoneSnake • 2 yr. ago This used to be one of my favorite SCPs, so iirc- Rough is basically separating whatever you put in the "Intake" side into it's base elements or general chemical makeup. Like if you put an animal through the rough setting, you'll get a puddle of blood and fluids, a stack of meat, and a pile of cubed bone. A stuffed animal will produce a pile of fluff and strips of fabric Coarse will chop whatever it is into recognizable portions. A person on the coarse setting will give two arms, two hands, two legs, two feet, a torso, and a head - probably with the eyes and hair removed and set to the side. 1:1 will exchange what you put in for something of equal value. For instance, putting in a 20oz Pepsi will produce a 20oz Dr Pepper. Putting in a Chihuahua might produce a Boston Terrier. Fine will upgrade whatever is supplied by removing any impurities and improving any mechanical or biological functions. Putting in 10 pounds of iron will output 10 pounds of stainless steel. Putting in a dairy cow will put out an animal that gives twice as much milk that's twice as nutritious. Very Fine will improve the intake beyond the laws of physics or sane reason. Putting in a laptop will give out a functional intelligent android. Running an apple through will give out some super fruit that keeps you full for days, cures the common cold, and sprouts a whole orchid from your poop after you digest it. 13 Share Joey Sinclair • 2 yr. ago This is literally the best and easiest to understand description of 914 I've ever read. Thank you so much. Share 6 ***

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