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THE CHAD PASTRY DESTRUCTION the virgin cake cutting cannot picture himself being anywhere else, lives for the present the cake wasn't even his, it belonged to some stranger haha look at how he cuts the cake! clear focus even his family laughed at how bad he is at cutting cakes the cake is cold so it's tough to cut through doesn't eat the cake doesn't want to be here uses the knife they handed to him sharpened his blade for this very moment tried a few different arm positions but none worked so he settled with an ate too much cake and got a stomachache from all the sugar wkward one tries to cut very precisely but ends up uneven on the X, Y, AND Z axises, every slice is shaped differently and some are too big tried to hold the cake still with one hand and got cake on his finger which really upset him forces people to eat the remains of the cake and enjoy it the cake softened up from his body heat because he just got done with his deadlifts

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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The Virgin Pepe Vs The Chad Moonman by GregorScrungus

The Virgin Pepe The Chad Moonman Is actually racist Makes vaugely offensive comments Pretends to be racist, really just making ego stroking political "Statements" Goes out and kills minorities Is a frog Is the f------ moon Incel head Based off of a f------ Based off a commercial from a business empire Massive chadly chin and hair A11 games about him only work as jokes Was so stupid that creator tried to kil1 him Has a genuinly f------ fun Doom mod based around him No lawsuits No voice, probably really annoying can stop him Smooth TTS voice Either wears no clothes or just a shirt, the savage Classy suit and glasses

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The Wizard Carrot Farmer vs. the LAD Eggplant Harvester by MoneyBaloney

THE LAD EGGPLANT HARVESTER THE WIZARD CARROT FARMER Simply takes what nature offers, never planted a seed in his life Enormous muscles from carrying huge eggplants even his biggest carrot is only the size of a small penis horrible posture from looking down at carrots all day shiny produce has never been seen touching dirt orange body from poor carrot diet beautiful clear skin from having many nutrients always in the dirt filthy produce comes covered in dirt and manure they made an emoji after him can feed a whole village spends half his time planting carrot seeds owns a sexy wheelbarrow great fashion sense but doesnt need clothes to be attractive

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Virgin Marvel vs. Alita: Battle Chad

The chad Battle Angel The virgin 'Captain Marvel Traditionally a man, gender changed for no reason Too cute to be supported by feminists 90% machine, still shows more humanity Dour expression, unable to smile Low quality Wonder Woman clone, wearing Superman's costume Has 'female friendship' instead of a love interest. Fembot Has own distinct costume, never copies other franchises Hated by critics, clearly doing something right Beloved by trolls (Russian and otherwise), universally popular Perpetually looking constipated Needs to censor RT even before release Classical hero, ready to sacrifice herself for others Probably stan by in the presence of ev Never offered her heart to anybody Thank God her feet are fully covered Never bribed a critic in her life Doesn't even know what a progressive agenda is

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The Virgin Meta Slave vs. THE CHAD MEMELORD

The Virgin Meta Slave The Chad Memelord Ignores the "Meta" since he enjoys meme oadouts Understands how he messed up when he dies Ignores what he enjoys most Always blames someone else when he dies if it's not "meta" Got his Sniper to "Hale's Own" through idle servers and killing friendlies Wears edgy cosmetics to feel superior, no one actually cares Is wearing the Gibbus and Pyrovision just to add to the meme Is always the one understand/care is friendly Doesn't use stranges yet everyone knows he has thousands of kills Dominating the entire enemy team before they even leave spawn Is somehow being dominated by a hoovy guy who doesn't that everyone else "Wait someone's playing seriously Will yell at his team if they aren't using "Meta" load outs "Why is everyone being friendly on a Casual 2fort server?" Is encouraging his teammates even if they're losing on a casual 2fort server?"

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Virgin "Gangster" vs. CHADNIK

Virgin ,Gangster" VS Chadnik Wears s----- cap in a way not intended by its design Thinks not removing size sticker makes it better. Wears a flatcap to protect his perfect hair against Bear attacks Wouldn't dare to smoke cigarettes Health still in horrible condition No respect for his family Not afraid to do some of the hardest drugs that literally rot your insides Still in decent health Respects his babushka more Listens to music using Airpods Literally never even heard of bass than the government 私 S----- bling chain. Probably a fake he paid 600$ for. Chugs beer like its oktoberfest all year. Thinks Japanese text tattoo makes him look tough Doesn't even know what it says Jacked from carrying beer crates. Wears tank top to flex his muscles Doesn't have any to begin with 好 Multiple genuine Rolex watches stolen off rich tourists Pants worn low just like his standards. Been to jail so often he knowS the police officers as best friends лядь! 420, Smoke weed everyday." Never smoked anything besides the oregano his dealer scams him for. Afraid to go to jail Clothing only from adidas Doesn't even consider other brands Thinks ripped jeans are fashionable Make him look like he is homeless instead Smokes cheap cigarretes only Doesnt need weed since the additives get you high already Prefers squatting over any chair Knees so strong not even the mafia could break them if they tried Wears obnoxiously ugly Shoes because ,,They are limited edition" Knees too weak to squat Would rather stand or sit on the dirty ground Adidas Sees no difference between vodka and voda Blasts hardbass using only subwoofer that he got from a car he jacked Heels always on the ground Heels wouldn't dare to touch the ground

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The Virgin Mowgli vs. THE CHAD TARZAN

THE VIRGIN MOWGLY THE CHAD TARZAN Schoolboy hair, probably all greasy Convinced waifu to move in with him Luscious natural dreadlocks Has to move in with waifu and leave the cool cat and bear Fur diapper Not a part of the pack anymore Now leads the gorillas -Breezy loincloth to keep his Struggles to climb tree despite living his whole life in the jungle manlyhood fresh Scrawny arms and legs Killer thighs and calves Gracefully swings on vines and branches to go around in the jungle

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Virgin Pokemon v. CHAD NEOPETS

CHAD Virgin Pokémon Everyone wears a stupid hat *neopets' Needs a new system every few years for the same gameplay Tired concept with little to no innovation over 20 years Over 10O different palettes total, most pets have at least 50 of these Iconic and memorable pet designs oucH Pokémon only have two different possible palettes in most cases Only 55 different species, easily memorable names and designs Has over 900 different Pokémon, can't reasonably expect anyone to remember them all Will literally run on a potato sith a screen after decades Bland, overused designs Constantly pdating and adding new featares after over 20 years

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The Beckys Monica Rial & Jamie Marchi and The Virgins Sean Schemmel & Chris Sabat vs. The Chad Vic Mignogna

The Beckys Jamie Marchi and Monica Rial and Virgins Sean Schemmel and Chris Sabat The Chad Vic Mignogna PLEASE DONT SUE US! Good Loving Christian Man Goes the extra mile by giving fans hugs and kisses in gratitude by tradition Funimation Backstabbing Snakes Confirmed SJW's Our word IS our proof, we dont have to show the world NOTHING! Crazy Man Hater Doesn't believe in "Innocent until proven Homophobic Bipolar, gets extremely riggered when he gets called "Beta Male" Gets hounded and threatened by online SJWs, doesnt care or even flinch All lawyered up! Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, the choice is ours "One of your Funimation friends trying to accuse me and my supporters of a Swatting Hoax? Nice try!" Stands up to homophobic groups protesting at conventions r/animedubs thinks Anime News Network is a legitimate news source? ROFL! Jamie Marchi marchimark vic mignogna@vicmignogna Feb 8 There is way too much hate in the world today. Please spread love and understanding instead. Hate met with hate never, ever solves or improves anything. Be kind to one another always. ollwv Prabloodxwol@problccdkolf Feb 11 Freedom cf speech' does rot equal to freedom to ruin peocle s lives d to false accusaticn:"either MONICA Sean Schemmel @SeanSchemmiel Christopher Sabat O @voiceCVegeta Replying to @Alishalin Rialisms Follow V Follow Yes,1 want his head. I want his ball.I wantMnia Rial him to feel an ounce of the pain he'eai others and then f------ choke on it.I want you to take his d--- out of your ears so you Thanks for the twet lv screershot it andalready. Next step will be FB can actually hear realty. But, you know that's sent it to my attorney and law enforcement. ust me. Ny DM's are always open. You think I'mRnto@dime:ke Following beta? Write me. I'm not messing around.@LordShmeckie Shut up f-----! -) 've been in touch with law enforcement Seriously, though, this type of dialogue is good. "DIE IN YOUR SLEEP!" is not will not be harassed. Have a nice night!

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Virgixar vs. CHADWORKS

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Virgin Joy Division vs. Chad New Order

The virgin Joy Division THE CHAD NEW ORDER Mostly famous for a string of iconic 80s Music is commonlv associated with depression and suicide Mostly famous for their album cover being on Music is commonlv associated with drugs and partying hits a trendy t-shirt Many tojp five albums Only influenced a bunch of s----- Indie bands Only feeling in their music is bleakness Their music evokes all kinds of emotions in the listener World motion Revolutionised an entire Peter Hook plays boring overly simplistic bass riffs Only song nor can name IS LOve Will Tear Us Apart mies genre of music Peter Hook plays all kinds of cool riffs on the bass and is basicall lead guitarist Their debut only reached number 71 in the UK charts Never needed a filmm to be made about them as their music speaks for itself Needed two films made about them to be remembered Nearly bankrupted their record label as their single wa copies they could barely afford to pay rights to the sleeve artist s selling so many Never released anything that reached the top five in the charts Normies are familiar with Blue Monday, True Faith World In Motion and Bizarre Love Triangle

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Virgin Elizabeth vs. Chad Eleanor

VS The chad The virgin Elizabeth Eleanor Spoiled during childhood Strong powerful female fiqure Omniscient but not really Kills people just to watch them slip away Acts like a brat Has a really cool dad Her dad sold her to pay off his debt Cries and runs afterCould outrun you witnessing murder underwater Grew up being experimented on, hunted and captured Will sacrafice children so you can escape Rapture Wears badass Decides to k.o. the guy saving her Runs around in a dress and heels bodysuits

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Captain Becky vs. WONDER STACY

WONDER WSTACY С Р-Г/IN only halfed the Avenger BECKY uma after half of them died Is the fifth Captain Marvel Was in the JLA from the start One and only Wonder Woman Literal goddess Wears a jumpsuit that looks Not even the first female superhero in the MCU like something straight out Bulletproof skirn, of the Arrowverse deflects bullets with her blacelets purely for the AESTHETICS Wears battle armor that 's both sexy and realistic Played by some random blond actress Had a brief mention in the post credit scene of Infinity War First female superhero of all time Nailed Chris Pine and Batman Played by a badass Israeli soldier Stole the scene in BvS and Justice Leaque Feminist propaganda Flies in a jet Punches old ladies in the face Did the "Wakanda Forever" gesture before it was cool Suffragette propaganda Vulnerable to bullets Got her powers from some alienS Got her powers from the gods of Olympus Flies in an invisible jet Fought in... Iraq, maybe? No confirmed love interest Fought in both world wars Same face syndrome "HERo" Ridiculously charismatic

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+4

Virgin vs. Chad - Posted by RhtrM 1 year ago Virgin Cake Cutting vs CHAD PASTRY DESCRUCTION

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THE CHAD PASTRY DESTRUCTION the virgin cake cutting cannot picture himself being anywhere else, lives for the present the cake wasn't even his, it belonged to some stranger haha look at how he cuts the cake! clear focus even his family laughed at how bad he is at cutting cakes the cake is cold so it's tough to cut through doesn't eat the cake doesn't want to be here uses the knife they handed to him sharpened his blade for this very moment tried a few different arm positions but none worked so he settled with an ate too much cake and got a stomachache from all the sugar wkward one tries to cut very precisely but ends up uneven on the X, Y, AND Z axises, every slice is shaped differently and some are too big tried to hold the cake still with one hand and got cake on his finger which really upset him forces people to eat the remains of the cake and enjoy it the cake softened up from his body heat because he just got done with his deadlifts

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