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BATTLEFELS EPTSODE 29 The Virgin Tactical Tryhard Sloth lands at remote locations and avoids fair fights the entire game MUM CLOSE spends all his free time anonymously arguing on forums about games and polities nothing more exciting to him than proning in a bush for 25 minutes wearing camo cosmetics CURTAINS has memorized the formula for bullet drop on all scopes and guns any attempt at friendly conversation with him results in a passive aggressive "uh actually..." argumentative responses has a printed 'best places to loot' graph on his damp cold bedroom wall he always blames bugs, teammates, hackers or bad luck on his deaths doesn't like the battlefeels c contributes nothing positive or community or the wider world tweets death threats to productive to the gaming spams racist words in the lobby so that for a brief moment he feels powerful is proud of winning a game with only a couple of sneaky kills game develo THE CHAD APEX PREDATOR SLOTH doesn't wear armour because it makes the game too easy and ruins his bright neon style only lands at spicy drops, if no other players are there he immediately closes game, hits the gym, showers off the weakness that nearly infected him and joins a fresh new game is only playing because it's entertaining content for his millions of fans to watch only uses kar98k and melee weapons you keep inviting him to hangout- with your family, you desperately hope he'll get your sister or mother pregnant so you can be closer to him doesn't use scopes has never opened the settings menu, everything on default and game runs perfect when in squads he provides enemy location callouts from his teammates point of view, not his own game developers love him so much they divorce their spouses and abandon their kids on railwav tracks so thev can work overtime on the game to please him always moving towards the next fight at high speed using the helmets of his defeated enemies as skis only considers a game a victory if his personal kills are in double digits @RORYCOMİCS

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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Virgin dpser vs chad 4ticker by Sad_Children

Plays on Revo Particools for extra henchness Spams his kc in Raid fc hours on end looking for a bm team has never heard of sunglasses override to block out the haters as well as his action bar revo n Wears comp cape to show knowledge of game mechanics Wears default clothing and hides examine because too poor to afford cosmetics and decent armor probably spent all his money on his edate Is probably f------ your edate right now _ Only uses Dice gear, refuses to Only cape of accomplishment, not even maxed in 2017, needs the sign of lfe bonus for gwd2 trips settle for anything less yes, even his flanking switch is an SoS Literally gets on any team he wants Literally juggling weapons mid boss fight not even real particools Cant even afford virtus boots Wears hailfires to carry the rest The Virgin "DPSer" The Chad 4ticker the tes

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The Virgin Robert Smith vs. The Chad Morrissey by The_Chillosopher

God tier head of hair s----- unkempt hair The Virgin Robert Smith The Chad Morrissey Can pull offabeautifull falsetto whiny vocal style Forces venue restaurants to only serve vegan options at his concerts Humorous lyrics that deconstruct gender Literally eats meat just because Morrissey says not to to spite him Wears makeup and lipstick Equates animal eating to pedophael Whines when his muic is labelled as sothlk, ared of being associated with it Still touring the Cure well past their expiration date Practiced celibacy from time to time to keep his thoughts pure Autistically tried to take control of Trolls the media by constantly being vague about his sexuality Refuses to have kids becaute he regrets being born gave bandmates the silent treatment Knew to disband the Smiths at their pealk Had the audacity to fire a guy named Lol" from the band Does not pive a f--- about filtering his political opinions Has to regularly take LSD to cope with depression Successful solo career Broke his own promise of the Cure's music never being used for Is crushed on by milions of both women and men Unrivaled and dedicated fanbase Makes Disintegration and then sells out with Friday I'm In Love hates himsel for it forever Triggers everyone by being self contradictory all the time Wants to retain the identity of Britain by disallowing immigration Looks like someone's grandma now because he's almost 60 and stil keeps his trademark look Mediocre guitar player at best, never mentioned on lists of all time greats Successful AF without burdening himself with learning any instruments Anti-drugs stance

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I hope nobody beat me to it. Here's the CHAD MAC vs the "Virgin Wraith" by dieItalienischer

The Virgin Wraith" THE CHAD MAC Has a full and rich vocabulary of shouts, groans and roars. The inspiration The height of male beauty, Can only communicate with adolescent shrieks shows off his body wheneverfor Wes Johnson's acting style possible Only dresses at the absolute height of fashion, which he trendsets Ugly, deformed face covered by a hood, and turns invisible so girl ghosts can't laugh at him Lays ambushes in ancient ruins, waiting centuries only to be killed in one shot High powered staff is only a status symbol, he uses his fists for real fighting So amazing, people and objects seem to cease to function around him Probably died easily, despite carrying a full pouch of healing items and armed with many protective spells Only wears cliche, practical" black robe. Is insecure about his gross green body Highly esteemed member of the Mages Guild, only need to use one spell Has never even seen a spell of heal greater wounds SILA Mastered many schools of magicka in life, only has the strength to use one spell in death Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Champion of the Arena and Daedric God of Madness. Never bothers to tell anyone Reflexes like a mountain lion, dodges traps and with ease les Able to fly but still only moves in a slow straight line Has handled large amounts of greenmote and felldew without a second of thought Only uses potions with no negative side effects Can do a complete backflip in full armor Probably never killed anyone in his life, which is why he's dead Has gone through at least 5 adoring fans, with more lining up to follow him Killed a god in 2 hits

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The Virgin Hockey vs The Chad Basketball by Biggie_cheese217

The Virgin Hockey The Chad Basketball Most of the "veterans" are asshats that hate evervbodv Exciting and instense games. Often end up with teams scoring more than 100 points All of the retired hall of famers are verv wise and gentle men Boring low scoring games Excellent posture from all the lavups he's done Can be picked up at any time of vour life Requires you to start at age 3 to get anvwhere Horrible back posture from all the bodychecks he's taken Is not a bonding activity of anv sort Creates powerful bond between friends and familv alike Keeps people of all ages occupied for hours Needs a stick. What is this World War 1? Makes everyone past the age of 10 fall asleep Needs nothing more than normal summer attire Needs a shitload of equipment Uses glorius, brightly couloured and bouncy ball Doesn't even use a ball Has a painful charred rice cake that used to be made of cow s---. Very low chance of getting into the NHL. Even lower chance of being any good in the league. Doesn't care if he makes it to the NBA. Just there for a good time Has to skate like he's a little girl Has never put on skates in his life

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Virgin roleplayer vs CHAD PVP GOD by www4

Spends all his HQ on a vending machine no one even buys from him er farmed; doesn't even know Virgin Roleplayer Has nev what a node is Bears are too afraid to attack him Tries to help nakeds, they kill him with their rocks Roams with all his sulfur and metal frags because no one will kill him anyway Spends most of his time farming Enjoys drawing d---- on paintings Has few s--- guns, too afraid to bring them out Thinks the crossbow nerf needed to happen Goes to an airdrop solely to kill other players, doesn't need the loot When approached by anyone starts begging for his life instantly Always plays solo because no one wants him in his group Only uses voice chat to insult inferior players Can play as a lone wolf or with other chads His base is literally a brick with 20 layers of honeycomb Has never even seen an airdrop Cares about aesthetics when building, his house gets raided on the first day His mighty c--- can be effectively used as a weapon Garry gave him a small penis for a reason Despawns all his loot at the end of the day to piss off offline raiders Didn't put anything on his feet since the frog boots have been removed

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Virgin beta VS CHAD ALPHA by RideTheDark

The virgin beta THE CHAD ALPHA used for lesser status males and animals used for the strongest males and animals name derived Name derived from hebrew word for house from hebrew word for leader second letter of the greek alphabet first letter of the greek alphabet always comes first for pretty much everything almost always comes after alpha

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The Virgin Alpha vs the Chad Soi Boi by Chadrich

THE VIRGIN "ALPHA MALE THE CHAD "SoI B0I"

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the virgin kira vs the chad DIO by Rohan_0ge

Deddy hasut "The Virgin Villain"| THE CHAD Villain phsig.es Likes hearts wang doteoted try Koich Does ot register te of others at ai Has only touched woman he has illed Seft swracht Little ammavemen Firm masculine arms Hand kink eay terse paey Can f--- any ㄩ woman he wants Bonus Erections from paineng Has a teder profte Has a massive c--- MANDATORY Screams a lot boring sun Bullieslttle kids thicc stand is a c

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Chad Alpha Particle vs Virgin Beta by arcticccc

-Hates crowds so much he exceeds speed of light when in one -Source of important coolant -Steals electrons from others -Has nobel relatives -Picked on by big atoms -Repulsive to other elecrons -Gets high with his electrons -Is nothing special chad virgin -Killed russian secret service officer

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virgin alive vs chad dead

Is eternally resting, free of life's BS Is slaying p---- in heaven Wouldn't die cause he's a risk-avoiding p---- Has to deal with the struggles of life daily Mourned by Stacies everywhere His life are meaninglesS anyway Most people barely care about him Helps fertilizing plants to help the environment Is contributing to overpopulation CHAD Everyone remembers him fondly and misses him Probably died heroically Virgin Alive Chad Dead

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Virgin Wagecage vs Chad Power Loader

The vigin wagecageTM The Chad P-5000 Power Loader 420 Made by Weyland, Co. then Caterpillar, Inc 424 410 Built in flamethrower for when someone gets in your grill made by Amazon Two heavy duty vise grips lift upto 4,000 kg. 417 402 412 has the lock on the outside only for use in Amazon "Fullfilment Centers?M' 408 414 Travels around single puny claw hand 426 space with the USMC ensures driver's virginity 404 Protects little girls from alien she-bitches 418 418 422 104 422 Fully bipedal for all terrain capabilities crummy wheels 422

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The Virgin Mist vs The Chadbiter

HE VIRGIN RED cheesing involves a MIST KILLING SPREE s----- bunker and a disabled employee HE CHAD ARBITER AKA FACILITY DESTROYER uses actual unique and original weapons and more dangerous than EGO cheesing machine broke defeating her phases only makes her more vulnerable cheesing makes her easier thar tiphereth the reason why people dont get to day 50 without casualites weapons any idiot employee can get acces to actual skill is required to beat got killed by a goth who didn 't have any weapons. only managed to kill her via a cheap shot. ~gets abnormalities to do the work for her makes the manager focus on two things at once needs 7 EGO to even becomea threat actual interesting character with strong points. only thing she knows is killing lives to kill abnormalities, takes 2x damage from them cant even chase employees, only confined to main rooms. aka NEET interesting mechanics besides "i smash thing extra hard 5 kills before anyone even reached her

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Virgin vs. Chad - Battlefeels Episode 29: Virgin Tryhard Vs CHAD Predator by SoraSabi

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BATTLEFELS EPTSODE 29 The Virgin Tactical Tryhard Sloth lands at remote locations and avoids fair fights the entire game MUM CLOSE spends all his free time anonymously arguing on forums about games and polities nothing more exciting to him than proning in a bush for 25 minutes wearing camo cosmetics CURTAINS has memorized the formula for bullet drop on all scopes and guns any attempt at friendly conversation with him results in a passive aggressive "uh actually..." argumentative responses has a printed 'best places to loot' graph on his damp cold bedroom wall he always blames bugs, teammates, hackers or bad luck on his deaths doesn't like the battlefeels c contributes nothing positive or community or the wider world tweets death threats to productive to the gaming spams racist words in the lobby so that for a brief moment he feels powerful is proud of winning a game with only a couple of sneaky kills game develo THE CHAD APEX PREDATOR SLOTH doesn't wear armour because it makes the game too easy and ruins his bright neon style only lands at spicy drops, if no other players are there he immediately closes game, hits the gym, showers off the weakness that nearly infected him and joins a fresh new game is only playing because it's entertaining content for his millions of fans to watch only uses kar98k and melee weapons you keep inviting him to hangout- with your family, you desperately hope he'll get your sister or mother pregnant so you can be closer to him doesn't use scopes has never opened the settings menu, everything on default and game runs perfect when in squads he provides enemy location callouts from his teammates point of view, not his own game developers love him so much they divorce their spouses and abandon their kids on railwav tracks so thev can work overtime on the game to please him always moving towards the next fight at high speed using the helmets of his defeated enemies as skis only considers a game a victory if his personal kills are in double digits @RORYCOMİCS

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