Report: Video Games Will Never Be Art | The Onion | Know Your Meme

Othe ONION PLITICS SPORTS LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT OPINION OLYMPICS 2018 VIDEO CLICKHOLE NEWS IN BRIEF You may also like Report: Video Games Will Never Be Art 2/06/18 6:53pm . SEE MORE: VIDEO GAMES, DO MY POLICE DEPARTMENT "They Are Little Diversions That Children Play,' Experts Say Local Man Passes Away Surrounded By Knife-Wielding Loved Ones SCORE 1,997 Friday 6:29am 虫虫虫虫宍宍宍宍宍宍宍

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NEWS IN BRIEF Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything Published October 10, 2022 | Alerts

me DOOM! www. "A.I. TECHNOLOGY" WILL DECIMATE OUR LIVELIHOODS! GLOOM! O S *LATEST FAD CHICKEN LITTLES * NATIONAL CARTOONIST LEAGUE 2023 CONFERENCE, intimoanis. THE END IS NEAR! 규 000000 SEASONED 4))) PROS DISCREET FLASKS COMPUTER, DRAW ME A CARTOON ABOUT TODAY'S LAZY TEENS WHO REFUSE TO WORK. AND BE SURE TO SIGN IT "KELLY"! PAYCHECK$ $ WHIRRRR "RENDERED" OBSOL-SWEET! BEEP! I WILL OBEY. BOOP! PROGRESS PRINTER O DELIVER TO EDITOR DOO Kelly 2023 ONION SYNDICATE 333 ATUU

I DRAW "ALTERNATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS." TAKE ONE -PLEASE! WEEKLY PAPER (AMATEUR GARBAGE) NO-TALENT PUNK WITH ΑΧΕ ΤΟ GRIND * AWARD- WINNING CARTOONIST "ALTERNATIVE" TO WHAT? QUALITY PROFESSIONALS? www WITH TRUSTY PAPER ( TOUCHÉ, DEAR! SOPHISTICATED Wesersesse ADULTS EXTRA! EXTRA! DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB. www "Kelly 2012 ONION SYNDICATE NEWSSTAND IC IM,

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The Onion has been assimilated into the rest of the Fusion Media Group websites, and ClickHole is not far behind.

THE ONIONTHE AV. CLUB DEADSPIN EARTHER GIZMODO JALOPNIK JEZEBEL KOTAKU LIFEHACKER SPLINTER THE ROOT the ONION POLITICS SPORTS LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT VIDEO CLICKHOLE the ONION Nauseous From Constant Scrolling Area Article New Evidence Reveals Pythagoras Wrote Dozens Of Unhinged Conspiracy Theorems About Triangles Scientists Discover 99% of NFL Plavers' Brains Slimv SEATTLE-In a major advancement of the ongoing effort to better understand the specific neurobiology of these athletes, a new study released Wednesday by scientists at the University Of Washington revealed that 99 percent of NFL players' brains are slimy. "After conducting an exhaustive, years-long.. Continue Reading 1-800-EAT-S--- Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrollingscier CHICAGO-Sources confirmed Wednesday that an online article is feeling nauseous from constantly scrolling. “Oh God, I don't feel so good," the 75 word news piece reportedly thought as it was violently and repeatedly sent flying up and then back down the website's homepage. "Please, please make it 1-800-EAT-S--- Finallv Publishes Decades Of Reckless-Driving Data Continue Reading

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The old joke

MIT Scientists Have Three Sides of Rubik's Cube Complete r. 2 CAMBRIDGE Mass.-A "This represents a major turn. team of MIT physicists breakthrough," said exhaust- "It was the classic example of announced Sunday that it has ed, red-knuckled project being too close to a problem to completed the vital third side leader Dr. Cedric Stephens. see the solution," Barstow of the Rubik's Cube, bringing "With this critical triad com- said. "Only by stepping back it ever closer to solving the pleted, there is reason to and rethinking our whole way believe we can complete the of looking at the cube could we 3 puzzle. final sides by perhaps even ultimately move forward." December of this year." 1000 0100 R=r, r 56=[ 0011 Barstow said it is "too soon to The scientists credited the tell" if this strategic shift breakthrough to a shift in their could be applied to other approach to the multi-colored hand-held twist puzzles, cube. Previously, they had including the Snake, Pyraminx focused their efforts on the and Missing Link. center-most square on each If the MIT team completes the tormula. nsI 4 The cube, pictured with the MIT team's theoretical completion Nation's Asylums Privatized; Millions of side of the puzzle. But team Rubik's Cube, its members will Rubik Institute officials, it w was University of Tokyo similarly be the first people in the world discovered that the German claimed to have solved the ever to do so. A team of scientists had illegally puzzle last month, but he, too, Berlin physicists removed the stickers and reap- was exposed as a fraud when plied them in their proper he was found to have pulled the cube apart and snapped it member Dr. Jim Barstow sug- Lunatics Set Free to Fend for Selves restebether Tiu Banatow FLg ested the group on the four outer corners while closely monitoring the position ity of Univers reported solving the puzzle PAGE 11D of each square on the reverse last November, but, upon close places. side of the cube during each examination of the cube by J Japanese scientist at the back together correctly.

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