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**000 Sprint 2:45 AM 3390 〈 ajaxu mpus & Follow ajaxuskempus foodhumor Follow Creme LIMITED Yes Oreos stuffed with the crushed remains of their siblings. No better snack Source: shepardfaeries 138,443 notes

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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People being people

People who hate hetero ships because "reasons YOU'RE AN IDIOT CASE CLOSED Cause they boring af Hele wn2 see a neal-perfect example mw soneone who uses slevem universe reacton images TOP GEM Iwant to fug pearl and jasper. Dont read too much into wil ou-craft ryou wanna Tuc鬣arock thats your busies 숲 But at least get a People who R I don't thhk any thing to do with th's peaple who use japanse gri cartoon reaction mage CHING CHONG GIV RAMEN NrH 9098 HON CURCHUR RICH AN SUPR ERIKE NIHON! People

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OP owns two miniguns and he used both at once

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The Great Meme Depression

00 Sprint 10:20 PM 83% lindsayloho earn tumblr has been very weak on memes the past few weeks. where are our new memes? why is meme production so far behind? irllavellan It's because school has started! Class time takes valuable time away from shitposting, which is why meme production always increases in May/June and stays consistent throughout the summer, then decreases around August. It's just market fluctuations, there's no cause for concern. stagrunner (slams palms on table) PRIVATIZED EDUCATION AND COMPULSORY COLLEGE HAS SPIRALED US INTO MEME RECESSION Source: lindsaylohoean

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This is a thing that needs to happen. And I'd volunteer for that shit 100%

beautifulgodzilla: adelstotle: beautifulgodzilla: I need volunteers For what? I'm going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn't matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around ever so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite al the way there, my champagne, I'll laugh and say quite loudly, "darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!"

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This sounds like a crazy idea, but maybe we should make this into a meme.

theaxelr8r baroquen-sol: waiter: how's your meal? shakira: it's wonderful thanks shakira's hips: she hates it shakira: son of a PLEASE DON'T MAKE THIS INTO A MEME Source: baroquen-sol 324,749 notes

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Onest

iamthefreshestprince: i-am-mystery: soletsfreefall: it took me 16 whole years to realise that the "st" in 1st, the “nd" in 2nd and the "rd"in 3rd is because itS THE LAST 2 LETTERS OF THE WORDS WHAT what the f--- did you think it was

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"Such is the power of the Sexual Jihad."

13% Open in tumblr Follow ABOUT THE SISTERHOOD Welcome! I know, I know. It's complicated. It doesn't sound right. It sounds twisted. This used to be a tumblr called "marriedwithsecrets." I'm a middle-aged MWM with a secret past and secret desire for submission, particularly submission to men. Incredibly, as if by divine providence, I and some others like me fell headlong into the more specific fantasy that we called "sexual jihad," where impressionable and inherently weak white boys like me are seduced and conquered by strong, dominant, Muslim Alpha Males and turned into feminized muslimah wives Sister Yasmine, the former femboyfaggot, launched a whole series of pictures about The Revolution," in which submissive Western males like us are converted to Islam and made over into the delightfully demure yet sexy muslimahs for our Arab rulers. That is how our sisterhood began. There was no way to know how this would resonate so strongly with others like us - submissive Western males who are already drawn to sissy fantasies and crossdressing I found the fantasy so compelling I imagine myself falling for a man, a dark and handsome Muslim man. In my dreams at the time, he was wealthy and powerful, dashing and mysterious. He skillfully seduced me, a would-be straight married white American. I fell deeply under his spell. His Alpha magnetism and sexual prowess insured that I was led inexorably into sexual servitude to him. First as his submissive toy, shamefully keeping my secret. Then, more and more, I become deeply involved, deeply in love, and subjugated to him. In this fantasy, I simply can't stop myself from submitting completely to the overwhelming masculine sexuality of my new Muslim Master. It's so wrong. Yet so right. He instructs me to wear modest clothing, as a Muslim woman would. Although not officially sanctioned, under his close instruction I convert to Islam. I am given a female Arabic name. I become so deeply lost in this world of submission, femininity and grace, and worshipful service, that I now live to serve him and to advance the cause of Sexual Jihad. Soon I am at his side in public, fully feminized, as his Muslim wife. I am encased in such beautiful clothing, feeling safe and content in my covering. My status plain for others to see, yet they might not realized that this demure muslimah was once a married Christian male. Such is the power of the Sexual Jihad.

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Now, what happens when you get sleep paralysis?

fandom-fox: did you know when you suddenly jerk awake while falling asleep, another version of you from a different timeline just died This post f----- me up It's actually because you're heart rate decreased so quickly that you're brain jerks you awake to make sure you're still alive i dont know wHICH ONE IS WORSE

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I bet she bathes in ketchup

Melissa loves tomato sauce so much that she bhas Tve tried Kotchup with more or less everything and it even walkod out of a restaurant because they didn't stock her favounte condiment botter with some things than others Molissa says Melissa just cant get enough ketchup, adding it to almost every meal foodnun: Melissa needs to chill

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How the hell did 5 year olds plan this shit out?

ABC News 1 hr. Two five-year-old Russian boys have used their spades to dig their way out of kindergarten in a mission planned over several days. They then walked two kilometres to a Jaguar showroom and told a woman they had come to buy a car but had no money. Their parents have not lodged any complaint against the kindergarten. Kids use sand pit spades to escape kindy, try to buy sports car Two five-year-old Russian boys used spades to dig their way out of their kindergarten and set off to buy a sports car ABC.NET AU undraggable This sounds like a rugrats episode

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10/10 100/100 BEST GAME BEST GAME!!!

lets 125,842 rhiannon42: engine-red: oxybelis: rfishface This makes me want a video game about a zombie apocalypse that only affects men so it's up to the housewives of 50s' America to save humanity ...saving this idea for class. i would play the heck out of that game, it is an amazing idea. Also can there be a character design screen so you can make your little housewife? I think it'd be entertaining to see what guys could come up with for making their female-selves. If you ask me. I would so play this game I would suck at it but I would play it. I've never played a zombie game, but you got me at 50's. Hnggg999gg I love 50s clothes give it to me OMG I already thought of some sort of premise In 1953 a certain laboratory on an undisclosed location developed a serum that could genetically modify humans, giving them enhanced speed, agility, strength, and brainpower Scientists found a way to modify the serum such that it could only activate itself in the presence of a Y chromosome, thus isolating the effects to men, mostly because of female discrimination at the time. The serum was a success, and sales skyrocketed just a few weeks after its release. What the developers did not anticipate, though, was the human body's incapacity to handle the serum. The mental and physical over-exhaustion triggered a mental decay which starts out slow, but speeds up exponentially within a few months after usage of the serum. The brains of the users are left with only the most basic survival reflexes, transforming the users into strong, fast, agile emotionless human shells, devouring any mobile life form in their path. Bites from the affected individuals could place copies of the rogue serum into the bodies of the bitten, giving them the symptoms. Shortly after, the serum evolved into a sort of genetic virus, causing mental decay in just days. No one was safe. No one.. ...except the women. cue in epic music Can you imagine the shitstorm this game would cause I'd laugh pretty hard. Would still play it though. Not gonna lie, I'd play the s--- out of this. I approve of this concept 100% I want a montage in the beginning of the housewife getting ready to kick ass She puts on her best dress, a string of pearis, does her hair taking out the curlers, puts on her most stylish flats, and the finishing touch, her engagement ring with the big diamond in it, and when they fight, they look fabulous and kick ass like they were trained by Catwoman and Harley Quinn Lipstick the shade of the blood of my enemies Who has some skills or connections? Make it a Kickstarter and I'll throw money at you. Source

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The legend says those doors were made from the ruins of a underwater city of Rapture...

phoenix-falls: malformalady: Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland Ireland isn't f------ around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

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Tumblr - Oreos are the greatest thing in the world and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise

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**000 Sprint 2:45 AM 3390 〈 ajaxu mpus & Follow ajaxuskempus foodhumor Follow Creme LIMITED Yes Oreos stuffed with the crushed remains of their siblings. No better snack Source: shepardfaeries 138,443 notes

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